I don't know why, but I can't get the memory of when my friend told me she knew about my feelings for her out of my head. The conversation went something like this:
Amber (my friend): "I know how you feel about me, Jenna. I know you like me."
Me: "...How did you know?"
Amber: "I've known for awhile. I could tell by the way you looked at me, and how you talked to me."
Me: "I'm so sorry, Amber. I never meant for it to happen. I'm sorry."
Amber: "Don't apologize. You can't help the way you feel. It doesn't
change our friendship, honey. You have nothing to apologize for."
Well, I just witnessed a car accident. I was driving my sister to dance class when all the sudden the car in front of me stops. I had to slam on the brakes to keep from hitting it. Then I see this truck get side swiped and two other cars get smashed. Yikes. Luckily no one was hurt. I've seen two accidents in the past 2 months. And to think I'm getting my license soon....
Woo! I got to see my sixth grade teacher yesterday. She's AMAZING. She listens to Metallica and hates the government and wears fucking awesome zombie bunny t shirts and bought me Mcdonald's!!! I love that woman. She's the one who encouraged me to become an author, and that's what I plan on doing. She really taught me how to be creative. I don't think I would be as passionate about writing and poetry if it weren't for her inspiration. And I got her email address so now we can talk more!! High school needs more teachers like her!
I'm just now realizing who I am. To be perfectly honest with you guys, I'm new to this whole being gay thing. The attraction to girls has always been there, but I'm just now discovering it. I'm in the process of accepting myself and knowing for certain who I am. I'm going to counciling, because I need help with this. For now, I'm just living one day at a time. I make the most of each day and try to remind myself that I have nothing to be ashamed of. I deserve happiness. Everyone does.
Let me make a long story short.