What should be said,
and what shouldn't,
What should be painful,
and what I'm familiar with.
(You held me in your sleep last night. I had missed that but you're not the same anymore. I slept with you the day before and I felt empty, as ever. You'll call me tonight and no one will have anything to say.)
There was my illness
and your leaving
and the synchronicity of it all,
And it comforted me because it was perfect, for once.
secretly he loves me
and i love him.
i'll prove it.
that awkward moment when you're drunk
and you vomit your feelings
i've got a whole world inside of me to burn.
grow up and blow away.
but it makes me glad that
you can bleed, too
trust no ocean to bring you to shore
Everything swallows me. I wrap myself in my blanket and I drown in it. I do not sleep and I do not dream. I just lay there. The dark in my room swallows me, too, as do the walls and the house.
"My loneliness is killing me."
No one to hold me in my sleep but angels, who wrap me in their wings like a baby lamb, shaking and twitching. No one to cradle me but the stars, shining like blood diamonds of Heaven. I want so dearly to be of them.
"Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion"
the boy who spoke to god, but the sky was empty - he was as frail as smoke, he waited for death but it refused to come, he sought it out but his heart failed him, he drank the sea and made love to the tide, but the ocean was salty and sour.
i fell in love with a smoking gun
Some people were not made for this earth, to understand people, their complications, their eases and their unease. Some people smile so easily while others are troubled, lost souls, fallen angels. Victims of their own fall from grace. Victims of angel syndrome, of their own delusions, cheated out of the kingdom of heaven.