Basically since this past weekend things have been getting crappier. So this last weekend at a party I was drunk as usual and well I kissed a girl and then a guy, but kissing him was more like and impulse that my drunken brain decided to follow; the guy didn't do anything so I thought that he was ok with it, but boy I was really wrong.
Last Friday my classmates and I went to some club to celebrate a birthday and as expected, after getting drunk and dancing we went to some friends house to stay the night and it was really fun because we ended up drinking 1lt of aguardiente that we never touched at the club so we started talking about dumb things, chicks and stuff like that until I asked them about the rumor that I have about kissing my best friend, apparently we did it and there's a video, after that some guy started to ask questions about if I'm gay and if I've done something else with my best friend, after he asked me for t
Quick update about this week.
I almost came out to some friend when we were talking about really personal stuff and mostly it was because she told me that she kinda got a crush on her coach, but when I had the guts to tell her some friend came and ruined our talk, since this thing I've been noticing how close we're getting.
I'm loving this day, first at school I had a really easy chemistry quiz, I'll probably fail it, but I can't give a fuck about it; practiced some choreography for three ours and we nene to do it for some event at school. After luch there was a thing for men's day (it was two days ago, but my school do this type of events on Fridays) and he girls are giving us a weekend in some cabins by a lake with everything included and it'll be really awesome, we just have to pay like $5000 pesos ($2,5 dollars) and the gas for the cars.
I don't know how to start with this, but yesterday was a really good day and it was because my class had planned going horseback riding plus a BBQ and we took advantage of that last week on women's day because we didn't do anything for them when the school gave us the time, but we had planned a surprise when we were at the BBQ. It was really good, but we had some problems with the owner until we solved them and went to a kinda bar (I can't find a way to traduce that word.
I have so many things to say, but I don't know like where to start, everything in my head is a big mess right now, and being sleepy doesn't help at all.
School is seriously going to kill me, I'm full of work and I'm way too stupid to do it the day they assign it, plus midterms are really hard and I need to write an autobiography and I don't want to do it specially because I need to mention the events that changed me and I don't know if I should write about my depression, but I don't know who I would be right now if I didn't suffer from all the shit in my life and seriously fuck the guy who said that 11th grade is easy and you don't do anything.
So today we had a BBQ at some friends house with all my classmates and I eventually ended up at some friends house with my best friend and got talking about stuff for like two hours until we felt like going back there, but I got really drunk plus I hadn't eaten anything; after like there's shots of aguardiente I was already tipsy and then I took some more and mixed with whiskey so I got drunk really fast.
Here's a little resume of my boring life.
I could say summer was kinda good, but mostly boring; I didn't go out, mostly went to bed at 6am and my parents woke me up at 12 so I wouldn't "waste" my day. I had to visit my grandma, stayed with her for a week, my brother came and it was awesome, Christmas sucked, the only gifts I got were from my siblings, cousins got me drunk on New Year's Eve and it was nice (specially in the morning when I woke up without a hangover) and that was mostly all I did.
It's been two years since I created this account, and it's been incredible all the stuff that this two years have brought me, I still remember the night when I created, my depression, Nico, my school problems, being a new kid, the bitch of my old psychologist and many other things. It makes me sad that next year I won't be able to write here and whine about life.
My life is still a complete mess and everything is confusing me.
I finally got my license, my parents are still afraid to let me drive alone, it's understandable, but last Monday my parents finally did and I was really nervous and it was ok, but there's something weird and it's that when I drive, I mostly space out, get lost inside my head and it takes a while to realize what I'm doing.
Today after I got home from school, I got a message from Nico's girlfriend saying if she could ask me something, my first guess was about what had happened with Nico last year when she replied saying that she's making an interview about the LGBT community, she sent my some text saying some things about how hard is being homosexual in some countries and the support that we get from friends or the hate we get and more stuff, then she just asks me if I'm gay, my typical reply was a typical no and then she's says that she already knows and that it's ok, I was about to die and my nerves were killin
On Tuesday I arrived a little late to school at night, I couldn't find my bets friend until someone told me that he was totally drunk in my classroom, I went to visit him and he was laying on the ground, when I got into the classroom he got up and gave me a huge hug and told me that loved me a lot, after that he told me how he got drunk and had the brilliant idea to sneak out of school and visit some friend that lives near my school, he made me jump some fence and I had to hold his hand so he wouldn't go sprinting and in some moments I had to grab him by the waist, at my friends house he got w
I think it'll be kinda confusing and it's because my mind is rushing and can't stop thinking so here goes the crap:
This month has been mostly a hell, the first week of it I was really depressed and my parents made things worse, I tried to kill myself twice, I made more cuts and my birthday really sucked, I spent all day holding tears at school, faking smiles and lying to my parents saying to them that I had a good day and that I was really tired, I actually cried all night at home and thought a lot of suicide and why I had failed last time (2 days before); some times I get some little euphoric or maniac episodes and after they're gone I feel worse.