It was on Friday when I had to post this.
On Friday I had to go to my Neuropsycologyst and she told me: " guys go out with girls because they are searching their femenine side! Aren't you searching for you?" O.o
That was awkward! And I got a little bit offended.
Nico was trying to talk to me, but I'm still pissed about he said to my friend on last week. And if he wanted to punch me why he didn't do it?! And I spent all day with Andrew and found him staring at me again! :D
Today I realized that Nico is straight, he told some friend "Daniel is cacorro! In the integration he was always trying to touch me! I wanted to pounch him!" then I kinda broke when I heard that, then I got the results for a maths and science midterm I both won them, then I started to cry in a class and started laughing at the same time! :D:
Got the rest of the school time being bipolar, spent all day with other friend having the same day and being next to Andrew! :)
I'm having Friday free :D
Today I didn't had class, and went to some friend farm to do a group integration.
Andy didn't came :(
And with Nico happened the following thing on the bus:
Yesterday I some family from the US came to my house and he was saying that he payed private school to his kids because he didn't liked public schools and then he said that now the schools are teaching what the LGTB community has done to the country. My mom had a disgusted face and said "how can they be teaching that to kids? At least here homosexual people still closeted! Not like in Argentina or the U.S.!
If I had talked and at least get his email or something with the argentine in the train station, if I had told Nico one day about my crush on him, If I had drown when I was little, if I had killed myself, if I wasn't born, if I had gone to live in Canada, if my country wasn't homophobic, if I hadn't changed school. Many things are going through my head right now! :):
Today was kinda crappy!
Really cold morning! I had to use an inca hat.
6 laughed about my hat and I almost killed them if there wasn't a teacher there! :@
Nico missed school.
Oasisans HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! XOXOXO
In Colombia I dont celebrate that until September
Anarchist, I know how you're feeling, with Nico things are quite similar, but it's getting better.
Today school was the same boring crap, Nico best friend again started mocking me, but it's not like the other times because now he is saying that he has a crush on me! And in PE he started saying: "Daniel, papi ricooo!" and I ignored him until he threated me with a sharpie (weird!) and he was going to attack me when I threw a kick, stopped and realized that I almost blew his balls to the throat! Then he ran over me and pushed me so I pushed him, it was so hard that he fell and he got up again and some friend run over him! It was hilarious! :D
It was the first day of exams, I was having a bad week, undecised weather, the bell had rang, I had English when some friend told me "Dani, Nico is thinking that you're gay! (I'm still closeted) he asked me: Do you know if Dani is cacorro ( very offensive word, worse than fag! ) because he is always trying to touch my hands!?" in that moment my heart broke more than it was already!
Right now things are getting a little bit better, but things are not the same!.
With Nico I'm starting to talk again with him, but it's not as it was last year. Handshakes got really normal, not like we used to stay touching hands now he just say hi, sometimes a handshake but he gets his hand out quickly. Eye contact now it's forgotten! Things are not the same! I HATE THIS!
Today was a great day.
I woke up with "Forever and always" from Taylor Swift (I love waking up with her songs).
Math class was awesome with the new teacher.
In English class some friends were talking about a trip to Amazonas and told me that I had to go!
In social studies the teacher was a total BITCH to my grade.
In science the teacher told us about Amazonas and gave us the details and last year prize (I might go there! :D).
I want to move to some random country: where being gay don't affect you, where having a different religion and not doing what a priest say makes my friends call me atheist or "You'll burn in hell!" I was born in the wrong country. I wish my dad had moved to Canada and that my mom had stand the winters.
Today Nico didnt came: he got sick, Got new math teacher, again Andy staring at me, went to some English class where I got really touchy with some classmate and again I'm having suicide thoughts! :(
Today at the computer lab some friend made a question:
She: Who wont get confirmed (some catholic thing in witch you will stay loyal to the Catholicism)?
Me: I won't!
Me: I don't have religion!
She: WHAT!! WHY!?
But the teacher made us stop.
In group direction I saw that where Nico sit was empty, so I made there. Then he came and some best friend (she knows I'm gay) told him: "Nico you can still make you space? He didn't answer. (he and her are like wood and glue! He never decline to be next to her!).
Yesterday I hanged out with some friends and in the car we weren't able to fit so I had to sit on my friend bf (it's really awkward since one day I had to do the same and he got a boner!) then when we arrived we saw "We Bought A Zoo" and my friend bf (he is really hot) putted his arm over my shoulder, but he was making jealous his gf because she was doing the same with her best friend almost sister.
When I got home, I was extremely tired and went to sleep.
1. My school has been changing the letter and schedule of my class.
2. The new math teacher quit his job for some personal reason
3. I had cancealed my appointment with the neuropsychologist
4. Went to Medellín for nothing
5. Nico is getting really weird: we used to talk every day, make eye contact a lot, have unnecessary touches, but since the last 2 days of school last year, we started separating and stopped talking. Every day is worse!! Idk what to do with him.
Today was such a great day!
New Spanish/group director teacher.
Didn't talked to my class in school (Today I hated them) except for some friend
I didn't talked to Nico in the entire day which helped me to focus in other things
Andrew came back to school, although he still have to do some exams. He caught me many times staring at him, but I looked away really fast and I caught him doing the same thing :D
Some friend fell in my leg and a rope almost kill my best friend :S