Yakow is spending as much time as he possibly can with his girlfriend. And that means that he's spending significantly less time with me, which makes me kind of sad. It's like all his other friends are just worthless now that he has a girlfriend he likes. It isn't easy finding times when the two of us can actually talk now. When we're alone I can tell he still likes me as much as he always has, but whenever he's in conversation with other people, something always feels different about him, something I can't really describe. It's like something's changed.
Yakow has been spending a lot of time with his new girlfriend. I can only be alone with him at one time in the day now, and I have to skip one of my periods to do it. It's worth it, though, since that class is 100% online and I can make up all of it from home. Anyway, they've started kissing every time they leave each other, which would probably make me feel a lot more uncomfortable if she weren't so friendly and social with me (not like his last girlfriend, who never said a word in my presence).
Yakow cancelled the plan again, so I'm done. He's proposed "rescheduling" for next weekend, but that just seems pointless because I know that wont work out either. Making plans is just pointless. Nothing ever happens for me. Fuck everybody else, the human species is all douchebags and assholes except me.
i'm too excited for this weekeeeeend, so i'll just let it out here. I don't know what to do until then, but i'll likely be bored. a friend stopped by my place and-a-gave me a baby agave. it feels like it's loosened up in the soil since then for some reason, but i'll try to take good care of it. he said that it's an agave azul, so it'll look cooler than that lawn ornament shit I see all over here. it's painful, though, and by the time it's fully grown I'm not sure where I'll put it. Also, I tried to get a driving permit but they wouldn't let me take the test so i'm doing it tomorrow
Everything's alright and sorted out. Yakow couldn't show up on Saturday because his sister's car broke down outside of Richmond on her way from college, so I'm walking around a local lake with him this Saturday, which is going to be seven miles of fun, and someone else is visiting on Sunday to make some of the musiks with me. I've started a really nice tribal beat dat i am ver proud of.
"You are the guiding star of his existence." I wish I were more credulous of these things; instead this only reminds me of thoughts I'd rather not have on days like today. Images from last Friday multiply throughout the weekend. Their beauty makes me want the snow to stop coming. Those jagged golden spears look so gentle.
A smashing total of 0 people showed up to my birthday festival, so I had a massive celebration. Today was an unexpected success.
There are only two people who are definitely coming. But one of them is Yakow and the other is someone who is also very cool and loves everyone, so he'll be a lot of fun.
Yakow again asked me to sit with him at lunch, which I had to accept, so I haven't gone to my fourth period class all week. It went fine, but after a while I guess he got bored and started listening to music, so I just talked to his friend a bit and fucked with his iPad while he was doing stuff on it. I proposed that we go walking around a local lake that he lives near, an offer to which he excitedly replied.
I didn't really speak to Yakow today. Aside from a few seconds of a quick chat that I got in before he lost interest and began talking to someone else who showed up out of nowhere. It seems like he's trying to avoid me for some reason, so I've been doing the same. I'll likely keep it up for the rest of the week, and if he shows up at my house on Saturday, that may change. If not, I guess my friendship with him is done. And I won't even know why. And I have nobody to give me company except Ween and my own mind, and neither of those are even around anymore.
Since ykw couldn't really sit with his ex girlfriend at lunch today, he, without much effort, convinced me to skip the period and sit across from him. So today was the first time we spent over a half hour together all year. And it was nice. I got to have about 50 minutes of admiration, and we had a great time, which made me happy.
The only thing that happened last weekend was getting ripped off on an Aphex Twin bootleg for $25. I shouldn't have trusted a business to actually be trustworthy, especially with a musician nobody in the US even knows any more.
You-know-who finally told me about his girlfriend, for the first time ever. And the reason he told me this is because he broke up with her today. So this has lightened my mood even more than all my time with him yesterday did. We've been talking more and getting increasingly closer. He's even coming over to my place on my birthday. I've also been talking a bit with one of his friends and getting along pretty well.
The GM-Hope-MasterForce-Thief-polystyrenegenerator-gman urged me to meet him at a specific location today, and then was absent. It seemed that he had disappeared for the rest of the day without warning, leaving me to burn out the lights of the sunless corner of sublime elusiveness with no foam trayholder.The only times I even got to talk to him were either really short or he was talking to a bunch of other people and we didn't even have a real conversation. Why he didn't give me any warning is a mystery, but what a fucking way to end the week.
Conversations with Gman always put me in an unmanageably good mood when I get home, and I don't know what to do when I'm this happy but also this bored.
Where are you?
My river explorer
The navigator of those deepest lonely waters
Take me with you
On our shining raft
For with hope and blind mirage
I see only you
I am in a terrible mood for some reason. There was a tornado warning at school, so we stayed in the hall for about half an hour past the scheduled dismissal time, with no power. And I didn't know anyone there well enough to have an enjoyable conversation, so I was bored and lonely. The entire time, I was just wondering where You-Know-Who was. Then, I had to endure the torture of watching him walk by later while I had to stay in the bus, which apparently was worse than not seeing him at all.