The girl that i have been talking about is still on my mind. I wanna talk to her. Should i just message her on Facebook? I don't have the guts to talk to her in real life. Should i just say hi? Should i just tell her about my crush? What do i do?
It is 12:12. i can't sleep so i am going to write.
As the weekend dawns, so does the longing for someone who knows and understands me. Every weekend, i get that loneliness that eats away at me.
Sometimes, if it is nice, i will go into the pool area in my backyard and skateboard. I wouldnt dare skateboard in public, i'm not even remotely good at it. Sometimes, i'll go for a bike ride. Those always end quick. My bike is one of the oldest, heaviest things. I thought bicycles were made for transportation. My bike goes slower than a turtle.
Hi, thank you for the nice comments. I like to write in story-style because it lets me express myself more.
Anyway, let me introduce myself. My name is Emily. I am 14 and a freshmen in high school. I am one of the youngest people in my grade. I am bisexual but still not yet "out". I also am sort of transgender and not "out" about that either. I am not planning on coming out any time soon. It seems like it would just be too stressful. I am not ready for the labels or the enduring stares.
I have not forgotten about Sam. I look down every time i see her. She probably thinks i am scared of her or something but really, i am scared that she won't like me back. Every day, I daydream of being with her. I dream that a year from now, i will send this message:
I feel that this past week has been a blur. I have been so out of it lately. Am I tired? Sick? Or do i have crippling depression knowing that no one knows who i truly am. Sometimes, i don't even know who i am.
I told one person that I am bisexual and already, it is backfiring. No, he hasn't told anyone but he almost talked about it in front of my other friend who is has proved himself untrustworthy on a number of occasions.
She pulls me out into the hall outside of the cafeteria.
“Do you like me?” she asks
I dart my head left and right while blushing uncontrollably. Partly because the love of my life just talked to me, but also because i was embarrassed “Shhh!”
She stares at me, confused.
“Okay,” i start to whisper to her “I have a killer crush on you,” this makes her blush.
“So, you are gay too?” she whispers smiling
I don't know what to make of the situation. It is like all of my secrets are pouring out.