*AHH!! the penguins!*
I haven't wrote in the longest time..
I got that from webgurus.com. I added some on my webpage: http://randomthoughts.com
What happened lately:
-Me and James went to the movies, blah blah blah
-Me and Rachael were talking about kissing, but we haven't kissed yet.
-I'm suppose to go to Misty's friday, and I told her I would kiss her for her b-day. Rachael would kill me if she found out!
Tim told Rachael in a note, that he loved me, and that when me and James break up, I'm going out with him. He told me he wished I was his. I don't like him, only as a friend! I told him that but he doesn't understand.
Shannon said she loved Jonathan when she's only fucking met him once. I was pissed, because I like Jonathan...more than I should.
James is in Tennessee and is staying the weekend with his dad. He called me earlier. I think maybe this time, things will go good, and we will go out longer than we did before. I really like James.
She had a corpse under her bed..she had her fun, but now he is dead....her mama said feed the desire, her brother said throw him on the fire!
I wish it was that easy ^ lol..... I'm listening to Carnival of Souls (Rob Zombie). He is so awesome. Twisted Sister, I was listening to earlier is awesome, too!
What Happened March 12, 2003:
~Joey took both my packs of cigarettes, and my cd "The Eminem Show". I got his necklace.
(I'm trying this, but I won't be on until tomorrow)
March 10, 2003
~Well, Rachael had a denist app. this morning so she didn't ride the bus. Joey told me she had been crying because Josh, Daniel and me had been ignoring her. And today when I saw her and was going to talk to her, she ignored me, so I'm pissed. Things were so much easier when we were just friends.
~Jonathan and Tim both came to me, seperately of course, and told me they might be bi, and not to tell anyone.
I went out with Will, I don't know if I have said anythign about him lately. We only dated for 3 days. The convo we had that we started going out:
Tasha: R u still going with that Ella girl?
Will: No, why?
T: just wonderin
W: do you like me?
W: why do you want to go out with me? for sex?
T: lol...I can get that from others...j/k I don't know. I just like you.
W: Ok, I will go out with you. when do you want it?
Lol...I have "Tasha L/S Rachael" on my hand and "You're a naugthy girl. Go to my room." on my other. Chris asked why I had Rachael on my hand, and I said that was my g/f's name, and he went "You're a lesbian?" He said it out loud, and I laughed. I told him I was bisexual, and he asked if he could watch me and my girlfriend, lol...
Jonathan was feeling on me yesterday in tutoring, hehe..
Me and Danielle were making fun of Kenny all day. (What is surpising is we were enemies like a month ago.)
I found my old neopets account passwords. Now I have 5 accounts, but I've only tried to get into the first 4.
Sorry...I am addicted to Penguins. I had an imaginary friend who was a penguin...his named was Bob...*tear* Krystal killed him! *sob* Anyways.....
I was thinking about animals. Not like that! I was just wondering if animals have emotions like humans, could they have the feelings of wanting the same gender? I don't know.
I'm screwed up today...
I took a self-quiz of whether I have depression. There was 15 questions, yes and no. I had zero no's. That's bad.
My short story: And this actually kinda happened. I had drifted off and then realize the water was over my face.
my poem ~feb. 23, 2003
I can't feel; I can't breathe
My throat shuts off
The pain is numbed by the fact I want to die
My lungs burn as the water comes in
The slits on my wrists bleed
As the water turns a dark red
My eyes are open and stare at nothing
I wait for him, the angel of death
To take me to hell, at least it's better then this.
My letter to Stacy, former friend. She called me a slut on Friday for some stupid shit. I sent it in the mail yesterday.
Hehe....My crush and me are going out now. Rachael is my best friend and now she's my girlfriend, too. But she's dating Josh and Daniel, too. Daniel knows about me, but Josh doesn't know about either of us. Lol...
I wrote James a letter. I really regret breaking up with him back at Christmas. :( I think I fell in love with him over then, but didn't realize it. But he's going out with Stacy, my ex-best friend.
I wrote this yesterday after school.
What's wrong with me?
That everyone but me sees....
Why can't I find love?
I'm left here to bleed.
My destiny is to be alone.
This is what it seems.
Why did he leave me?
And hurt me all the way through.
Why do I feel this pain?
And he feels nothing. He shows nothing. I am nothing.
I hate to be alone sometimes.
Trevor broke up with me, but I haven't cried or cut myself or anything. I think I realized I mixed up love and lust. I'm starting to think I will never find love.
Rachael still likes me and I really like her. But she hasn't asked me out again, and I'm kinda afraid to ask her out. She's one of my best friends and I don't want to lose that.
Joey hasn't said anything about going out, and he's acting like a jackass, so I say: fuck him and not literally.