It's not fair. I know that's an overused saying these days, but it's true. See, my friend's girlfriend recently broke up with him. They were only going out for a month or so. But everyone (myself included) has been offering him a shoulder to cry on.
My girlfriend's family found out about us 5 months ago. We've been best friends for 8 years. I even lived with her family for a few years. Now we're forbidden from even talking to each other. I had spent every single day for the past few years with her, and suddenly I can't even send her a friendly email. All of our friends knew what was going on. But when this happened, only one of them stepped forward to offer her support. Everyone else just made it a point not to mention her name in my presence.
Why do I do this to myself? Sure, I like him when we're together. He's a great guy. One of the best, actually. I know she told me to see other people until we were together again. She told me she didn't want me to be lonely. But I always find myself thinking about her when I'm with him. And especially afterwards.
He's the only guy I've ever let touch me like that. And it's not even below the belt. I feel nothing when he does it, and then dirty afterwards. I'm now wishing I hadn't agreed to hang out in his room. I don't even know why I did it, really. Maybe I was just lonely.
Free. I'm finally free. I'm out to everyone. No more secret life.
I wrote a letter to my dad the day after I last saw Sari. That was well over a month ago. Of course, I didn't have the nerve to send it. So it sat on my desk until about a week ago. I dropped it in the mailbox, and tried not to think about how my homophobic father would react.
I've known Sari since 4th grade. I was the weird new girl at school, and she was the popular girl that got along with everyone. She was one of the first people to talk to me, and we've been inseperable ever since. And that's saying something, if you consider how our lives have been. See, she comes from a family of blacksmiths. They travel all over to sell their stuff at craft shows. As a result, she missed a lot of school. Just a year after we met, she started homeschooling. I made new friends, but no one could take her place. We called each other every day, no matter what.
I started Jr. High. I made all kinds of new friends. I also developed a huge crush on a girl named Tiffany. I knew Sari didn't have any chances to meet new people, so I introduced her to everyone. Neither of us connected to them in the same way, though. There was something special about our friendship that just wasn't there with any other.