KieBem81's picture

Growing Balls takes Time

SO my last post was like 2 yrs ago and then I said as I am about to say now - it has been a long time!!!

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its been 15 months

WOW.....zaaa! I HAVENT BEEN ON THIS SITE SINCE FOREVER...since then i have graduated from loyola....and become much more comfortable with who i am..maybe ill start writing again......anyone from about 2 yrs ago still active on this site...it would be great to read something from ya

cnr

KieBem81's picture

omg its been forever but quick update.....

so i am really out now..lol...
my parents are cool...
my friends are cool...
i am also single and out now ...complex but not worth getting into ....but im good and i hope she is too but im not so sure... :/
and i am in boston for the summer doing an internship at the harvard school of public health...WORD...crazy i tell ya but im having a great time...and wanted to check in on dear old oasis :) if anyone is from boston hit me up...

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i meant to write a sweet entry but went off on society instead...

la la la hey oasis-

there are many new users so maybe i will just introduce myself again...i am a now 20 year old gay chick...for some reason i do not like the term lesbian..i really dont know why since i am one...so yeah ...im a junior in college and started posting here when i stumbled across this site a little more than two years ago..its funny cause at that time i was like so i might be bi...and now i am so gay its not even funny- however i think i was always this gay i just didnt let it out...i feel growing up you discover your gayness and it is a matter of oneself's embracing and acceptance of it .....so i dont think you discover you are gay all at one moment it slowly reveals itself to you...which is what happened to me...it dawns upon you....and then one day you will be like me...* i was so gay and didnt even kno it!! :D

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and so yea.....the whole love thing...

OASIS....

it has been a month since my last post and in that time period not much has hapened but i have had significant things happen .....one of those things being my girlfriend...*yea my girlfriend* came and visited me and my family here in md...oh the craziness....i have never been so scared* excited and happy to have someone here with me....its funny i finally realized that love is scary and its not scary because its new or whatever but its scary how it can change you for the better...and make you do cheesy cornball things without being ashamed...you feel like you would do anything for your dear one and its true...i would do anything for my gf...its sad but i love her so much right now...which is why its a bit scary to feel something so strong and wonderful to the point that it scares me...

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and so a update?

its like 30 degrees out..so um yes it is a bit crisp :)so in news...or rather the news of my life....i am happy...well in a few ways and crazy in another few....

i am happy because it just so happens i know this amazing person who makes my heart flutter just as it did 6 months ago when i first spoke to her....5 months ago when i first heard her voice....and about 2 months ago when she first looked into my eyes and made my knees collapse...and my heart tremble so hard i thought it would fall out of place.......anyways i got to see her again...and it just makes me gush to think about her **** and what makes it even better is that there was multitudes of awesome company as well- it wasnt just her that made my stay fun and a time in my life i will never forget- i think this part of my life will be well remembered........no matter what the outcome....

KieBem81's picture

beautiful randomness

HI OASIS- so its been like forever....but HI..i hope everyone new and old is doing fine :)

so someone mentioned to me this journal...and thinking about it made me want to write in it...he he..so now i am ...although i was looking at some old stuff and i am amazed at how i have changed- granted its been threee years since i first started posting - it has been a long road and a bumpy one from the days when i was like i might be BI- lol to the days when i was like wtf..i like girls...theres no question anymore ...to my ridiculous love for sophie...to my ridiculous crushes in general..to thinking i am in love once...and to coming out the hard way....and surviving through two years of horrible chemistry courses...its been a long time and i love oasis- i love looking at old entries not just by me but by others as well cause this is and still is a writing community for people like us....for those who need an outlet and those that have no where else to turn...oasis has definitly chnaged my life...and for the better...

KieBem81's picture

wow its been a while.....

hello my dear oasis it has been a long time since i last posted...and well things are ok...wait scratch that- things are fantabulous...for whoever remembers reading my last few entries..(i doubt anyone) i was rambling about a girl who i liked alot and was going to go visit...well i ended up going and let me just say ...WOW....i cant even describe how awesome it was ..and still is.

so yeah..that went well...and now classes have started back up and they are draining but this semester i actually like most of them... so i dont feel like jumping off a bridge every chance i get....wow this entry is pretty sad....i guess i am tired ...but yeah school, work etc will do that to you...so i thought i was gonna write more but it turns out i just remembered about my art thing i am supposed to work on so for now..i am off but will be back...i never really left i checked new posts daily...i love this site too much to ever stop reading entirely i think..or even just for a few days- i always HAVE to check oasis- for new and amusing posts...

KieBem81's picture

Think Happy and You Will Be Happy.....

oasis-hi!!!!

la la la...i will be back in class sept 9th i think - i am excited to see my friends come to think of it and i am actually kind of ready to go back....i am excited about getting my education on and finding out more about what i really want to do with myself once im finished with college ..i think i wll prob just try to go to grad school..but as it tends to be in life anything can happen so yeah who knows...who would have thought i would be ready to go back to school...i guess i just want to get it on with now....i wish i had a clear calling but sometimes i doubt what i want in life so who knows...one thing for sure i know that i want though is to be happy and proud of whatever it is i end up doing or whatever ........

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I Never Thought I would Do This

Oasis!!!!

hello to all the familiar users and welcome to the new ones...well i just got back from south america about a week ago and have been lazy to upddte...i also have a GreatestJournal (if you want to be a friend let me know so i can add you :D ) now so its not like i have moved on from this site but i just havent had anything important to write having to do with my sexuality really- i mean there is the fact that my mom is pretty much ok with it now - she still wats me to keep my options open but shes getting used to it and she seems fine which is good

KieBem81's picture

random as always

la la la - hey there oasis- welcome to all the newbies- this is a place that will help if you need it .......

and so i dont know what i want to write really...i am going away in about a week or so to s.america for about a month...i am excited for a real break from everything i have been accustomed to for the last great chunk of my life- i am excited to let go and be free-i am excited to see my relatives and once again submerge myself in my culture for which a while i negelected

KieBem81's picture

Feelings Terrify Me- But In A Good Way

Hi Oasis-

Its been a while.. ha ha..so yea...11 days to be exact and even then i was beginning a new little thing..which right now is going strong...i met a girl. A friend of a friend to be exact- some one i probably shouldnt like - at least like i do now- but it seems as if she was droppped down from heave sent to me - to save me from myself- crazy i know but just try to understand me on this

KieBem81's picture

The Best Is Unexpected

The Best Is Unexpected

Caught by surprise - a rush to the head
Caught off guard- a blow to the heart- a whisper to my soul
I had no idea what was waiting for me
I would have never have imagined
Who would have thought of this?
Not even in my wildest dreams could I have known what was so close and so right for me?

Torn by the old and tempted by the new-
I search for the way-
Driven by my instinct, supported by my heart and guided by my mind-

KieBem81's picture

Craziness And Stuff

Hello Oasis..

I have just returned from best buy- where shakiras new cd will be in *ahem * tomorrow - poopyshit- i was dissapointed but instead i got a new trance cd- so im happy and listening to it now..but i have to get the new shaki cd tomorrow i suppose- i honestly cant wait its been a while since shes done some good spainsh latino rhythm music..oh man im so excited i hope its good and doesnt let me down :) i mean so far the song she did with Sanz is so wonderful-catchy-erotic lol JK- i hope the other tracks are good too ....btw also freakishly enough i walked by the maroon five cd without realizing- all i could do was laugh- and think WTF?!

KieBem81's picture

Rambo Rambling About My Life

oasis peoples-

things are going well - i got a beautiful tax return that made me smile- dinero makes me happy- because im in need of it - like any college student-

things with the family are weird right now- me and my mom are doing awesome- she loves me so muh its ridiculous and i love her to for being so good to me- she is really trying to deal with my whole situation and i appreciate it so much- if i didnt have her support i would prob be fucked -excuse the language but its the only word that sums up what would be of me if my mommy didnt at least try to understnd me- so yes point 1- i do love my mother and will miss her alot when shes gone in s.america next month :( her and i have had our issues and we still do- but one thing is she loves me unconditionally like any mother and deals with all my crap

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