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other people's weddings

yea, its been a while, as always.

anywho, I'm just hanging out, nothing better to do while
my parents are at a weddings. Tis the season for people to
get married it seems. I had to buy a dress for another wedding
coming up. blahhhh. something about weddings makes me better.
I had always said that I never wanted a wedding with a dress
and all that, even before I figured out i was into girls.

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sick, wisdom teeth etc....

heh, I always feel like I must be boring whomever reads these
things. My life is so damned routine right now.

blahhhh... this is not my week. I am supposed to be on my
way to a city council meeting right as they are voting on
a living wage proposal that we've been working on. I've been active with the Democratic Socialists of America for about 3 years now, and have been juggling political work with my job and with school. Instead,

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stupid job

Having freed myself from school until September, I now
am back at work full time, hoping to earn enough money so
I CAN go back to school in september. Gawd, I hate my job. The people I work with are basically
ok. But, I sure as hell was never meant to be a sales person.
(I work in a high end outlet store - ie, the $300 shoes are
marked down to $150). I've come to two conclusions
a)rich people as a whole suck, and b) as a culture, we are

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Finally finished the semester from hell! One class, one
internship, and 300 miles on my car each week. For the
next four months, all I had to do is earn money for the
fall. Oh, and get 4 wisdom teeth yanked out.
Fall will be even worse though. With the classes I'm
taking, will have to drive downtown (65 mile round trip)
four days a week. Plus, with it being an election year,
I'll likely be doing campaign work.

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marriage petition..grrrr

my little rant for the day....

I happened to be the one to get the mail today. Among
the usual bills and junk mail, there was a mailing from
somegroup called the Oakland Citizens to Protect Marriage,
which is headed by one of our county commissioners, Tom McMillen.

***background: McMillen is obsessed with two things, gay
marriage and abortion. He's such a nut job even other
republican politicians have told him to cool it. ****

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bored/stuck at school

Well, it seems that today the schedule gods are not on my side. I had
class this morning, and my other class (internship) is meeting here on
campus at 4:30, soooo, I still have 4 1/2 hours to kill. Naturally,
this would be a good time to work on the two papers I have to hand
in next week, but, I'm being lazy for the time being, and here I am.
Its just been one of those days. Overslept this morning, didn't

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2 years ago tomorrow

Two years ago tomorrow (april 15) was the first time I ever came out to anyone,yea, Im kind of big an anniversaries. Seems like it wasnt that long ago, and also seems that too little has changed.
Maybe because my coming out was so traumatic (see my past
blog on this if you care), it seems that time sort of stopped
somewhere mid-april 2002, and everything since then has been
about me trying to come to terms with that one month. It

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Maybe it means....

Maybe it means...
out of place
or doesn't quite fit
like those pictures from
school dances
his arms around me
just never looked right
or maybe it means....
bound and burning
just another victem
in yet another
or maybe it means...
like a cigarette end
that you crush under your foot
or throw away
and don't think about again
until the house burns down
around you

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here was somewhere once

just a short little poem I wrote....

here was somewhere once
but now here is nowhere
and somewhere is elsewhere
where everything is good time
rather than once upon a time
and brother can you spare a dime
and someday Im gonna get mine
here was somewhere once

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on past lives and other ramblings

yea, its been a while since I've posted. School has
really been keeping me busy lately. I've got a class,
an internship, plus working part-time. I know one
class doesnt sound like a lot, but, this is graduate
school, so, the work load can be insane at times.

Other than that, not much. I'm hoping finish my course
work this fall and start on my thesis in the winter.

Oh, and I ran into a former friend the other day

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poem I wrote when I should have been listening to my professor

bodies slamming together
in false passion
just for the show
and the dance
and always the chase
of the paper experience
this city could come crashing down
into the bay
and on its floor,

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getting close to people

I seem to be going a while between blogs lately. Been
rather busy I guess, between work, and school, and internship,
and all. And ::gasp::: something that seems to resemble
a social life. I have this really bad habit of not letting
people get close to me. Even as a kid, I was always the
one content to play alone. I dunno, trust issues I guess.
I used to always kind of avoid becoming close with other

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i can never think up good titles

Been a little while since I have posted. Oasis seems to
be rather tempermental for me. Mostly though, I've just
been insanely busy. I must say, this is the first semester
that graduate school has turned out to be what I expected
it to be, a whole lot of work and a whole lot of stress.
Oh well, I enjoy it though. Always a glutten for punishment.
Its cool though, the school environment and all. I always

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on the mating rituals of heterosexuals (or, my friday night)

Having nothing better to do friday night, I went out with
some girls from work to a bar near where I live where another
co-worker djs. Having no one but myself to drive me home,
I was forced to maintain atleast a minamal level of sobriety,
which gave me the opportunity to indulge in one of my favorite
pass times: watching drunk people.

It was a busy night, so, the people watching was extra

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gender and society

Today while basically looking for excuses to avoid doing
my homework, I came across an interesting show on the
Discovery Health Channel about Male to Female sex changes,
and the struggles these men have had because they didn't
meet socity's expectations of what a man should be. Most
of those guys on the show, before they started living life as a women
went out of their way to appear as masculine as possible. The

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