gah! I'm losing my mind! My goal was to get my economics paper done today... ha! As of 2:44 am I have a total of 530 words out of 2000. And one graph... It really is a nice looking graph though. Aargh. It's just so boring. I mean honestly, here's a sample of what I'm writing about:
In this graph the initial aggregate demand curve shifted from AD to AD`. Because of Sticky prices, the AS curve is horizontal at the fixed price, P. The shifting of the AD curve causes a drop in output from output full-employment, Yfe , to Y as the new equilibrium shifts from point a to point b.
Okay. I am such an idiot. Why did I put off this paper until today?? I have a 3000 word research paper on Samsung due Monday morning...so of course I waited till Sunday to really do much. Essentially I wrote about 10 pages today... What's really crazy is that it took me TWO HOURS to do the freakin citations and biblography! Oh my lord...I thought I was going to die. I think if this assignment doesn't convince me to start sooner on papers, nothing will. :-P
Ok...time for some completely non-election related goodness.
I was freaking out last week about this girl, Kate: I was worried that she would be interested in me and I didn't know how I would react because I'm feeling very uncertain about my relationship with my girlfriend right now. Well last night was when we were supposed to go back to the gay club together... We ended up getting a bottle of wine and just chilling at her place. We drank the wine, ate some ice cream and watched Buffy, which I hadn't seen all semester. It was a really great time, and best of all, it was completely platonic. I'm no longer worried about all the "what-ifs"...and actually, she seems quite taken with this girl she hooked up with at the club the last time we went.
I consider myself to be mostly "Out"...however there's one realm of my life I have kept completely separate from my sexual orientation: My extended family. I don't see most of them more than once every few years, and while we never talk politics, many of them are Catholics and seems conservative. So I've just felt it better to not come out to them...but I can't stay silent anymore.
I just don't care who knows.
Pardon my language but I'm feeling throroughly pissed off right now. What in the hell are the American citizens thinking? Nothing's definite yet, but NBC just announced that they project Bush to take Ohio, which means he gets the election.
I've never felt this strongly about anything political before. But I'm tired of having a president who would rather I disappear because I question his fundamentally conservative religious values and complicate his political campaigns. I'm tired of having a president who is pushing to write discrimination into the constitution, just because that's how things have always been. I'm tired of living in a country that claims to give freedom to everyone, while trying to take it away from those who challenge social norms.
I just got off the phone with my girlfriend...2 conversations in 2 weeks; not bad! As wonderful as it was to be able to hear her voice, however, I can't help but feel a bit more depressed after having hung up the phone. For those who don't know, we've always been in a long-distance relationship; we met online last January. I'm from Colorado, usually go to school in Indiana (but am in Australia for the semester) and she's from Louisiana. We've seen each other twice in person...she spent a week with me for my spring break last spring, and then I spent about a week and a half with her at the beginning of the summer. Not seeing her since I've come over to Australia has been really hard, but the whole time I've been telling myself that even if we can't live close when I get back, we'll still see each other over my Christmas break, maybe spring break, and perhaps she could even visit me at school during next semester.
What in the world am I doing?
Okay...so a synopsis of this particular situation, because I really haven't blogged much about it in particular: There's this girl, Claire, who's in one of my uni classes who's a local. She ended up being put on a project with me, and we kinda hit it off, friend-wise. So she ended up inviting me to this pride-festival event in September, and I went and met a group of Claire's friends, including this girl Kate. That night it ended up being me, Claire, her boyfriend, and Kate who went out to dinner and then to the gay bar in town. It was a great night, and Kate and I kinda hung out a bit that night. (Oh, and FYI Kate is definitely a Lesbian...even if Claire hadn't told me ahead of time, Kate made it clear when talking about the girl she just broke up with...)
I feel so pathetic! I'm just in this incredibly sappy-romantic mood, but it's tinged with a sadness since It makes me just want to cuddle up with my girlfriend, which I can't do. *sigh* I made the mistake of watching the movie 'Kate & Leopold' which has some really cute, romantic, sappy scenes. So what do I do? Instead of being productive, like I need to be, I hide in my room (in an attempt to avoid all the drunk people wandering around) and crank up evanescence and feel even more sappy and depressed.
Why are we attracted to who we're attracted to?
This is a question that has been sitting in my mind the past few weeks...well, probably more like the past 6 months or so. I don't have the answer to it, and I don't think I ever will, but the reason why it's been on my mind is that I've found a new source of guilt. Perhaps this is an unconscious way to make up for my new lack-of-guilt over the fact that I'm a lesbian. Anyway, here's the reason behind my newfound guilt:
I'm not really attracted to "girly" girls.
I don't have anything particularly deep or even really interesting to say today... :-P Life has been flying by without me realizing it, which was highlighted this morning by my empty food locker and lack of clean clothes. (Since when has my food supply been dwindling? When was the last time I did laundry?)
So after my 8:30 Business in Asia class (during which I wrote up a grocery list) I went shopping, spending more on groceries than I have before in any one trip this semester. Of course, this is due to the fact that I decdided to actually buy some meat and add protein to my diet. It's so easy to exist on nothing but pasta and sandwiches...I've probably been eating waaay too many carbs this semester. After that I did my laundry, which I think hasn't been done in over a month. I was suprised; I managed to do most of it in 2 washerloads and one dryer load...and it even all dried in half an hour! I'm stingy and don't like to put them in for more than that because it costs $1 for every 15 minutes in the dryer.
*sigh* I really should be more diligent as far as my school work goes. Every semester I tell myself that I'm going to keep up with my work and not slack off by spending who-knows-how-many-hours a day reading fanfic, but somehow I always find myself in the same position come the end of the semester: Screwed.
Take right now, for example. I have 3 weeks of classes left and then 2 weeks of finals. I have a 2000 word position paper on Natural Law due tomorrow (it's about 3/4 the way done), 2000 words on the great depression for my macroecon class due on Friday, a 3000 word research paper on Samsung electronics and a 2000 essay for literature both due the Friday of next week. I have not started any of the papers other than what is due tomorrow. On top of it all I have finals coming up in the near future and I feel like i've done nothing in my classes all semester. Some of the finals will be okay, I think, but some (like Natural Law and Econ) are going to be downright painful.
"Silent Legacy" by Melissa Etheridge
Why did you steal the matches
From the one room motel
Once they gave you answers
Now they give you hell
They will never understand
They wonder where did they go wrong
How could you be so selfish
Why can't you get along
And as you pray in your darkness
For wings to set you free
You are bound to your silent legacy
You've seen it in the movies
ahhh....i'm a little drunk right now. Just a little...not too much. it's wearing off mostly. I just got back from a graffitti party at one of the local clubs that was arranged for our school. It was fun, but I really really wish my girlfriend could be here. She would've had a lot of fun dancing and having fun and stuff. Near the end of the dance a guy and a girl I know started kissing and I just kept thinking that I wanted that to be me and my girl. I miss her sooooo much, it's not fair. Lately she's all i've been able to think about and I just want to be in her arms again. It's not even the sex I miss the most...just her. I love when she holds me I feel safe and protected and comfortable. But she's some 12000 or however many miles away. *sigh* as long as I get to see her over Christmas break...if not...I think I'll just lose it. I NEED to see her again. I need to kiss her and have her hold me and tell me face to face that everything will be alright. Long distance relationships suck sometimes...and now's one of those times.
"Humanity's potential is infinite and every being has a contribution to make toward a grander world. We are all in it together. We are one."
I ran across this quote while doing research for my paper on Natural Law that's due next monday. I can't help but think that if everyone believed in what that quote says, theis world would indeed be a much better place.
While this research is a pain in the ass, it's also fascinating. I've never done anything on comparative religion before, which is alot of what I've been reading...stuff by Ninian Smart, Huston Smith, Blavatsky (Theosophy), as well as Papal encyclicals and writings about ethical athiesm. What I'm going to be defending in my paper is the belief in a natural law that is the basis of all people, one that transcends religion. All religions seem to have certain things in common, and while irreconcilable differences may exist, I believe these common elements are what makes up natural law, and that they come from God, the creator, the Cosmos... whatever you want to call it.
Okay...I don't know if I just missed this is the time I was away traveling, but I just found out that Melissa Etheridge has breast cancer...goes to show that no one is immune from the crappy parts of life. I'm glad to hear that they caught it early and that she should be fine... Melissa's a wonderful asset to the gay community. If this is news to any one else, you can read more about it on her website, http://www.melissaetheridge.com