This weekend woulda seemed like it was all decent on the outside but it wasn't really.
So. Saturday was my birthday. I'm 20 now. Two Zero. I had to work which was frustrating as hell. I called in Monday and left a message but never got it off. Damn it. Thankfully it was a short day but still... Went to see I, Robot. That was a mistake. I just shouldn't watch movies anymore. Always feel bad after them.
I learned last week, at work, that some of us were being moved to this new line. So, there was all this about, how we were hand selected and we were good workers and such. So, I'm one of these nine, yeah, I think it was nine, people selected. I was happyish. Compliments are nice. Monday we started on this new line. Oh my... It's crazy. I have never hated those doors more then I do now...
One of the guys I sit with at break asked me if I had a girlfriend. Ahahaa.... Haha... I REALLY don't know why these people must know about my dating history, sex life, give me hair and clothing advice, etc. I swear...
She was right. I would have a lot of time to think at work. I have to much time to think at work. And thinking about it makes it worse.
I've told myself many times I don't care what people think anymore. I've said it to many
times. Sure. I've spoken up more. It felt real good to tell off the guy my mom is married to now and has been for to long. It felt good to say I grew up there. That's MY hometown. It felt good to tell off the christian collective.
I've tried REAL hard to work this all out in my head but I just can't accept it.
So here's what's set it into motion. My mom. Every now and then she sends me these little emails about christian jokes and "miracles" that had happened. Just wonderful... This last one was the breaking point. It was about Noah building an ark in this time period. It was essentially taking cheap shots at unions, worker, environmental, and animal rights, etc.
Here's the story. Here's how it goes.
Mythological Adventures of Wolf #1
Wolf is like lonely. Looks for someone to talk to. No one is around but Snake. It's ALWAYS Snake. Wolf breaks down and talks to Snake. When Wolf isn't looking Snake bites Wolf in the F'ING leg. The traitor tells secret. Wolf plans Snake's untimely and painful demise.
So YEAH. I don't know if I should have just known, as in, I shot myself in the foot, or if I should blame him.
This weekend, 3-day weekend, didn't seem like a complete waste. Saturday, I got out and went to see a movie. I swear, hero movies should come with a warning, Warning: One may find one's self disappointed with life and may cause one to raise up the sword and go out and seek evil. Also may aggrevate previous evil-seeking conditions. Nnn. Nothing else really happened. Nothing I remember anyway. Sunday, is a nice lazy day, so I was lazy and did nothing. Wow.
Well this is crazy. I've hit a line. Stuck in a
cycle. So I'm really looking for a break to it
I think this Sunday I'm going to see
another movie. Get my ears done too. I keep
putting that off. I do have a question though,
if anyone out there knows. Is there like a
limit on the number of piercings you can/should
have in one sitting? I'd like to, eventually,
get the bottom dangly part pierced and three on
This is crazy stuff. So, as it goes, I'm
at home when everyone is at work and at
work when everyone is at home. Essentially.
My younger half brother is at home but...
yeah. So I find out my brother, not the half
one, possibly got some girl pregnant. At
sixteen. Yah know I don't really care either
which way and I'm not surprised. Yah know,
how everybody has family members they can't
stand, well practically all mine are in my
I've been feeling like the master criminal that
wants to be caught. Yet Detective Mom and
Private Eye Dad have no clue.
I've had like no contact with my dad at all, so
I can't really blame him. But I don't know what
to think about my mom. I've sent her an article
in support of gay marriage, no response, an
email for a petition for gay marriage, diddly.
She also saw the "Two Lovers" conversion and
So I've started working at this new job. I
forget what I put before, so anyway, they make
doors there. Being that it's factory type work,
it's repetitive and mind numbing. So, to keep
from breaking down I try to keep my mind on
other things. I don't know what to think of
these things though. It started as a kind of
story telling thing. There was/is this one
character, the hero, Degana. She is on the run
Stuff has happened since last post. Stuff.
I'm outta college. Out for the summer that is.
Yay? I guess I'm happy about that but I'm not
happy about what I'll be doing this summer.
I've already had one day of work. I really
don't know what to think anymore.
My mom said something interesting. What do I
want to do with my biology degree when I get
out of college? (paraphrased) I really didn't
I think. Sometimes we all worry to much.
Cartoons are over. The adventures. Battles. Love. All over. No more
fighting for you love. No more fighting for your life. Nothing. I come
back and it hits me. I see it all. I want to go and adventure and all
it includes. But I can't. I'm here in my stupid stupid room. Smashing
buttons. Playing stupid games that barely let me taste freedom. Living
a routine that crushes my soul. No hope for anything else. Everyday is the
Today was not awful. I am pleased.
I found these two nifty artists on the internet. Paul Klee and Innemee.
Both are like "primitive" artists. I really like this Innemee person.
This, Innemee, person draws like a kid but these pictures are so clever.
This is the kind of art I really really like.
I also came across a site about primitivism. Not the art style, it's more
like a philosophy. Made me think. Very deep stuff.
Today... was interesting.
Everything was pretty normal. Got up, went through my morning rituals.
Went to calculus... After that, off the my chemistry lab. Partner wasn't
there so I teamed up with this other girl. It's funny. This happened,
before both our partners didn't show up. Anyways, when I work with her
things seem to work out better. No hang ups and we get done faster. So
that was good.
Crazy day today.
But first this weekend. I procrastinated on my art assignment. So had to do
that. Stupid assignment. Make a enlargement or deenlargement of something
out of cardboard. I did a key. Also had to do these surveys of these
buildings, with these silly sheets, with crazy questions. Like, does this
building suit it's purpose? Umm... It's a house. People live in it. It's
not falling down... Yes? Anyways. Today.