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As I sit here.....

bitching about the imperfection of the world and how dumb I am...I realize half of you will hate this, as do I. But if I didnt vent this, well I am sure I just would have held it in and let it eat away at me...fun fun fun...so this was what I chose to do instead......

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Hyperventilating......

Have you ever had one of those moments when all of a sudden you realize everything in your life is backwards? I just did....Now I am sitting here pondering. I am pondering what life just for the hell of it.
Sitting back and analyzing my life, I realize I am not happy. I am rather lost in fact. I dont even really have a real best friend. Sure I have those friends I am going to miss like hell when I go to college after next year, but they arent the kind I can tell everything. There is Amy. Shes cool. I have known her since I was a little kid. But she tends to forget about me every now and then. Thats just the way Amy is. Not really a fault. Just a mishap or a technicality in her personality.

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Its been awhile.....

And I know you were all disappointed at my disappearance...Yah....Anyways, not too much has happened....An arrogant cop is putting a building right in the middle of my fucking road....Wreaking havoc to my whole street....and he hasnt even worked on the whole building in a long time....Grrumble....But I suppose I shall deal with it....Hopefully I wont be around that much this summer...Something about a week or more in Virginia...Visiting some friend of my mother.

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A glass show....thats right.....

A room full of other people's old, glassware....thats what I did today...Heisey(sp)glass, to be specific....But man, if you own the right kind of Heisey, you could be rolling in money! Some of the stuff was fifteen hundred dollars!!!!!....for a bowl!
But anyway....The real reason I am writing, is because we went passed the nursing home my grandfather was in before he died. Now that wouldnt seem like such a big deal, but this is kind of different.

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So.....

Chris and I are officially a couple....how that came about, I am not entirely sure....But I am not entirely against it...but what sucks is he has this whole soccer thing so I am not sure whats up for this weekend....

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Falling apart slowly....

There never seems to be enough hugs, yet there is always enough pain. Its a cycle thats vicious but so a live that it will forever continue. No matter how much good I encounter, I come across twice as much bad. I dont understand how this works.
My family is slowly falling apart. Once one problem is fixed, three more inevitably take its place. It happens over and over again. I just want to run away from it all. Every last part of it. NEVER EVER come back and NEVER EVER deal with this murderous bullshit that kills me slowly.

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Who the hell decided.....

There needed to be a peanut butter flavored jelly bean?!?!?!? What sadistic joke is that?!?!?! Blah. I dont see their purpose, I mean its not like you could substitute them into a peanut butter and jelly sandwich! Lol. I am so blonde sometimes.....

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Getting sick all over again.....

I went on that date last night...wow was that interesting........

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Whats the fucking point......

In everything! It makes no sense anymore. Life just fucking hates me. But I suppose in a way it always has. I definitely need this whole date thing friday just so that I dont have to think.

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Ugh....agh....ack...blah.....

Soooooooo. Yah. Hmmm. Well. I cant speak English apparently...Anyways, I have a date for Friday apparently. My friend has deemed it necessary to set me up with a guy that I have talked to a few times in person and a couple times online. Interesting. It has turned into a triple date type thing. Should be interesting....From what I hear he is clingy. I dont know how well I respond to "clingy". I guess I shall see..........

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I am back......yah.....delightful isnt it?(that was sarcasm)....

So I havent blogged in a long long LONG time. ::shrugs:: It happens. Uh, lets see......Lena showed up at my house the other night. That was humorous. She walked in and I was already in my pjs and she was like "awwwe how cute, your like drowning in that shirt" cause I was wearing pj pants and a big t-shirt. I believe I growled at her. I dunno I was half asleep. We watched a movie, then she left.
Spent the weekend at my dad's. Thats always interesting. Hes wicked old fashioned in every way which can be funny sometimes. But a whole weekend with just my brother and father can not be healthy.

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Yupperz......

I had a fantastic night, last night. It was very fun, except the movie The Hours is quite depressing. Its an excellent story and very well done, but very confusing in the beginning and depressing. But whatever, I was in excellent company and that made it all better. ::grins:: Gotta go out again sometime.
I just finished making cookies with my little brother. Even though I probably wont eat them, it was fun. They were rainbow cookies so it was all good. Thats what is important in life. Spending time with my little brother, making cookies, having a great time. Its what I need to do more often. Ignore my problems and stresses and just make cookies.

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Ah.....

Gotta love the ex who wont go away! Allie did show up. That was horrendously bad. ::shudders:: I dont feel the need to go into detail about that. ::shudders again::

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La la la al al al......

Hi. Not feelin' so great. Kinda dizzy. Whatever. My day was ok. Cept this really uber scary chick kept staring at me at lunch and I was very 'fraid. She asked someone else at the table who they were hiding from and with out thinking I said,"The Gestapo! He is hiding from the Gestapo!!". She muttered something and now I fear for my life.

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Ramble ramble ramble.....

babble babble babble! Oh dear. I am soooo sleepy. Where do I begin? Okay well 1.) Allie is out, she showed up at my dad's house, lets just say it was bad and I realized how bad an idea it would be. B.) My dad was very happy about my poem being published, as am I. I didnt know he would be so proud of it. I guess I shouldnt judge him so quickly (silly kitten! ::smiles::). 3.) School sucks. Nothing new there, but my chemistry teacher is a raving lunatic.

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