It's been 7 months since the last time I cut myself. It's the longest I have ever gone and I couldn't be happier. But I don't think my meds are working any more and it scares me. All the feelings of depression and pain and wanting to cut are all coming back. I want them to go away. This isn't who I am anymore. I am so sick of this life. Why can't something just go wonderful for a week every year.
Well I came out to my mom this morning and she was like yeah I know I was just waiting for you to tell me. Okay I guess I should be happy but it was just kinda weird. Now I just have the rest of my family to come out to and I should be all set for awhile.
He asked to see it
That’s all he wanted
But then he wanted to touch
And then he wanted to be touched
He said that he was just curious
Damn sex ed classes
Do they really have to start them so young?
We were only in the 3rd grade
And so the touching continued
It wasn’t hurting anyone
Or was it?
Years later she wonders what if…
What if it had never happened?
Would the thoughts never have come into her head?
I finally made Shell mine. I picked her up from school and then we went to the mall and just wondered around. Then we went parking. I always thought I was lucky because parking in the middle of nowhere should be easy...but not in the middle of the winter when all the pulloffs aren't plowed. But we found a spot and it was amazing to be with her again. Hopefully we will be able to maintain a longdistance relationship. If anyone has any tips for a longdistance relationship then it would be greatly appreciated! Well I should go cause I'm sure you don't want me to go on and on about my girlfriend. Peace out and keep it sweet.
My life keeps taking turns for the worst. I set myself up for disappointment so I guess it's my own fault. For once I just want something good to happen to get me through the bad times. Maybe lithium will help me. Maybe my new doctor will have some clue as to what he is doing and be able to help me.
I had some lesbian pride pins on my pocket book and a girl that I work with noticed them and called me on them. I was like yeah I'm a lesbian and she said that she was too. It was kinda kewl and she seems like a really nice person. Maybe other people will notice the pins and they will help me come out to other people and I will be able to find someone.
I found this piece I wrote and I was wondering if anyone had any comments on it. Would be much appreciated.
I have so much running through my mind
thoughts of the future
thoughts of the past
thoughts of the present
thoughts of myself
who I want to be
who I am
I want to be a person in control of her life
I have control at times
I want to be true to myself
how can I be true to myself?
I hadn't cut myself since April! I had been doing so good just surpressing my feelings. I thought that was helping to deal with the cutting. It was but it wasn't deal with any of the reasons I wanted to cut. Well I broke down and cut myself yesterday and today.
I have an obcession with inpirational quotes and any quote that is good. I was wondering if you would all be willing to share your fave quotes.
A couple years ago I came out to my friend, Michelle. I told her because I was crushing on her and thought she might be the same way and feel the same about me. Then last year she came out to me cause she was crushing on me. After talking a lot it came out that we both liked each other. We kinda started going out for awhile.
I never really minded being in the closet by myself in the dark. It just seemed natural to have to hide there until I was much older and on my own.
I got back from camp yesterday and it feels really good to be home even though it is only for a couple days. On the 21st I leave for college. I am really excited because I am going to the big city of Buffalo but don't know if I am ready to be on my own yet.
On Thursday I am leaving for camp. I am going to be a counselor for 8 1/2 weeks this summer. We are in the middle of nowhere and have no computer. Most of you probably didn't even know that I exist but I have been reading everything for quite awhile.
Doesn't seem possible but I am graduated from high school. 4 years ago I didn't think I would live to see the day. Things just weren't going well and I didn't want to live anymore. But I found people who care and I lived to see my graduation.