Is self injury (si) an issue for u due to ur sexuality?

yes
10% (3 votes)
no
52% (16 votes)
sometimes
29% (9 votes)
whats si?
10% (3 votes)
Total votes: 31
ilovepwin's picture

why - help me get out

why do i feel like this
why do we have to live like this
why r people the way they are
why cant we change this
why cant we live happily the way we want to
why does it always have to be so hard
why do i have to b so stupid

i am living every day, stil breathing, still walking, still conversing, but for wat? wat reason do i have to do this? i live for the love i have with my girlfriend. but shouldnt there be more than that? shouldnt i live for more? maybe i cant, and i have to live for just love, for the love and acceptance.

ilovepwin's picture

crap

why do i feel this way.....i hate it....i hate it.....this is so stupid.....y do i have to feel like this...i am ion love and i shouldnt b feeling like this.....i know i shouldnt.....but i am.....and i hate it so much.....

ilovepwin's picture

pointless, dont bother reading......

have u ever wanted to say so much but nothing at all.....all at the same time....thats how i feel....and i hate it so much.....i feel so rotten right now.....

ilovepwin's picture

from acceptance to living a lie to total confusion

is it wrong to want to b someone ur not
to want to b wat ppl want u to b
to want to do wateva it takes to be accepted
even if that means living a lie
to deny all ur feelings
just to feel wanted
to deny true love
to be accepted
coz i do....

but then at the same time all those feelings are being squashed by the love for my gf...knowing that with her i will always b accepted and loved by her...no matter wat anyone else thinks....

ilovepwin's picture

sick of lying

i have gotten to the point where i am sick of this lying, i am sick of feeling alone, i am sick of feeling like i am not wanted.....like i am not worth anything....because of my sexuality....i think i know this isnt true but its how i am feeling.....i know i have my gf but when im not with her i feel like i have no one...no one to turn to...i feel like i am spinning out of ocntrol and i have no mo

ilovepwin's picture

tearing up inside

does anyone else feel like they have to live a lie just to keep oter people happy.....i feel like i have to....i am living my life with my gf but to everyone else i am someone different.....i hate having to live like this...living two lives...living a lie....lying....pretending to b someone else so that i can b accepted....it tearing me apart inside....i am losing who i am .....and its taken me so

ilovepwin's picture

ranting......

how r we meant to be fine with who we r....with our sexuality....when we r surrounded by such homophobes and whilst living in such a homophobic society.....for so many years....since i was about 11 i spent my private time thinking about ways i could seem not "gay" to my friends....whether it b messing around with guys...or making stuff up....i did it becoz of the way my friends and others around m

Do you think it is right for same sex couples to have children?

yes
100% (15 votes)
not sure
0% (0 votes)
no
0% (0 votes)
Total votes: 15
ilovepwin's picture

so yeh....

wow!! this site has proven a lot to me.....just how much i need to sort out in my head....how much there is going on...and most of all how much i love my beautful gorgeous gf....its amazing how much it helps just to write things down....i have written a lot of things down and posted them and then deleted them coz they seem so childish and stupid....maybe thats not the best thing to do but for me i

ilovepwin's picture

forever hiding

i am feeling so......blahhhh atm so i am just gonna rant bout it....i am so sick and tired of feeling like this....of feeling like i wanna hurt myself.....of seeing the razors ro scissors....i can resist.....my gf s helping me but its so hard....i am so sick of all the crap gays and lesbians get....what makes us so different? coz we knwo how to love totally and completely.....coz we want to b happy.....i have spent so many years hiding who i am....not facing the truth....messing around with guys liek my friends so that wouldnt appear "gay" to them....i haed this....it wast me and i was lying and doing shit but i had to....i had to so noone would find out.....the things they have all said...esecailly in my younger years of high school....it made me want to die cz i kew the truth...i knew who or what i really was.....i would spend all day long talking and giggling bout the guys we hd crushes on then i would come home and cry into my disary talking about how i thought i was idfferent...how i really really like some girl in one of my classes....i hated it...and what i hate even more now is that i have come out to myself...i have faced up to who i am.....with the help from my gf i must add.....but now i have a bigger secret to hide....that yes....i am a lesbian....and yes i am going out with the most beautiful girlfriend ever....and i think thats harder than the hiding i was doing b4....cz at least b4 i was hiding from myself too....i hate this.....i feel so self destructive worrying about wat ppl will think...trying so hard to hide my love from everyone...family....friends....it is just so hard....sometimes i feel like i cant take it anymore...i just want to cease to exist.....but i cant....i have too much to live for....my gf.....i am just so sick of hiding....i wish plpl would get rid of the stigma attatched to "gays and lesbians" and just let us all live happily and in peace....i dont knwo about u but thats alli want....to b anle to live happily ever after with my gf...and not have those looks and those comments....i want to feel accepted....maybe in years to come the stigma will become less strong...but at the moment it is still there......i just dont want to feel like this anymore....sometimes i lie in bed silently praying it all away for me to stop feeling like this.....but i know that cant happen....i want to b able to b happy all the time....

ilovepwin's picture

confusion

i am so scared about coming out to everyone.....notmany people know that i am a lesbian.....and not many people knwo i am actually with my gorgeous girlfriend.....i have seen the crap that my gf has gotten from people when they found out she is a lesbian...and i saw how much it affeted her...ad truthfully i dont knwo if i am as strong as she is....i dont know if i could get through it like she did

ilovepwin's picture

ShE!

she walks towards me
that smile
those eyes
that beauty
she comes closer
oh how i want to hold her
to tell her how much i love her
she reaches me
she moves closer to me
she kisses me
everything stops
as her lips touch mine
i am floating away on a cloud
with this angel of mine
oh how i love her
with all my heart
we will b together forever
me and my pwincess
i love u baby!

Tags:
ilovepwin's picture

hello everyone

i am new here so i dont really knwo what i am doing....i was talking to my gf the other day and she was telling me about this website. i thought it would be a really good place to come because from what she was saying it was somewhere where i could just get everythign out and meet other people in similar situations to me.....and other people i can relate to....i love my girlfriend so much but i ha

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