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Disgusting...

Corporate America and they're attempts at making homosexuality "normal."

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My father.

A pleasant conversation with my loving father.

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Oh god not again...

I saw my friend Emily today with a guy that completely admires her. He's so sweet to her and she doesn't really like him back and I kinda understand why (she has her own reasons). Not too long ago I was really infatuated with a straight guy, who turned out to be a real ass hole, and I'm afraid this might be happening again... I really like JP, who is gay and I'm not quite sure how he feels about me, but he said he liked me...

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Welcome Back Scotter

I haven't written on Oasis in a long time. But, in the words of Bette Midler "Damn, I'm fierce!" Actually that has nothing to do with anything. I'm in San Diego, California right now, but only for like 3 more days. Anyway, stuff is way insane. I put mself on like a million personals (PlanetOut, Hot or Not (I got a 7.9 :)), Face the Jury (only like a 7.5 on that one), Gay11, and like, every other one available.) and I got decent results. I met a wonderful guy named JP (awww, JP!!!) and im gonna see him when i come back to Maryland! I cant wait hes soooo wonderful! But I'm not gonne get into it. Anyway, the whole reason i even got on this was to write some shite, so write i shall, have fun y'all!

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Epiphony

Yesterday began my realization. I lack many talents, and the few I do posses pertain to music and art in general, not in areas that people actually need talents in... Anyway, I realized that i'm far too shy to get anywhere in life. Last night on the phone with Joe, I decreed that I was going to be more assertive and get out what so desperately needs to be said. Today, after finishing the novel a density of souls, i realized how a fictional story can influence someones life.

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A first person short essay

if you care, read about what life really is for me.

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My apologies...

Thourhgout the course of my 17 year life, I realize that I have fuckd so many people over... And I want to apologize (in no paticular order)...
Dustin - I'm sorry that you were the first guy I ever liked... I'm sorry you had to go through my petty shit and deal with me...
Brian - How can I even begin... I'm so sorry for being so demanding, for loving you so much. For letting my emotions get the best of me... And for caring so fucking much...

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2 Entries at one time :)

blAH! I'm going to go take a shower and get ready for work... Oooooh, Fuck Perkins... Well, Anyway... uhhhhh. I'll be backkk. :) ... Hmm...

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An Ode To You

I couldn't sleep last night,
Or maybe I did;
All I know is that we danced in my dreams...
And I dreamt that what you said was true,
My heart began to pound.
But I woke with a start, at 9 A.M....

Just the day before...
You called me at 9:45...
You woke me and apologized...
I didn't care.
And so I actually beckon you to call,
And my phone remains silent.
Though in my head is a cacophony,

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Blah

So im sitting here in my chair blanking out at the computer screen... This is the first saturday night I've spent to myself in a very long time... I only want to be with him... But god knows where he is... And I'm sitting here, and I don't know how much longer I can hold back my tears. I haven't allowed myself to cry in such a long time, but what other option do I have? I'll spend all night thinking about him and when he told me that he wanted me. It seems that that is no longer applicable when my appearance has finally reached out to him. So I'll continue on tonight, waiting for some sing of life to come to my direction... And I'll jump with each sound of opening doors, just to further dissapoint myself... When you come on, I'll be here...

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Fuck it

Well, considering that it's happening right now, i felt it was most appropriate to write about it. So this guys tells me that he wants to do stuff with me, and I'm all for that considering im not generally persued. Well, right now, one of my best friends, Kelly, is practically fucking him. So in response to this im just going to pretend like nothing is going on. Because honestly, I'm really pretty fucking sick of being the transportation for people, and being in the room while they are fucking and I have to pretend like it isnt happening.

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Weird

So for the first time in a long time today, I was really depressed. It's almost always been an issue, but today it was so much worse than usual. I guess it started when I woke up late today so I could finish up a paper for english. Which ended up being a 3.5 page paper (go me :)), but I missed my favorite period, ceramics. Well, I went to school and shit, got through the day (it wasnt so bad) but then I had to go to the bank after school to cash my pay-check.

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Well...

This is really strange. I miss how the old Oasis was. But I do agree this is a big improvement from what it was... I really really REALLY hope that things will be semi-reminiscent of the old site. Cheers old chaps:)!

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