LOST IN THE INCENTIVE OF YOUR MUSK.
LOST IN THE DESIRE OF YOUR BODY LIGHTED BY THE DUSK.
I FEEL YOUR FLESH CRAWLING OVER MINE.
HOW CAN THESE EMOTIONS MIX WITHIN ME AT THE SAME TIME.
BROUGHT TO LIFE BY YOUR SKILLED LIPS.
BROUGHT TO PEAK BY YOUR CAREFULLY PLACED KISS.
AN INTENSE BEAST YOU ARE TO HAVE TO DO TO ME WHAT YOU PLEASE.
KNOW THIS, THAT I WILL HAVE YOU IN RETURN, IF I MUST HAVE YOU ON YOUR KNEES.
i have done things to myself.
i have mutilated parts of me.
pieces that cannot be repaired.
having looked back on it now.
i see that my past will never be considered perfect . . .
i have held these damaged parts together.
until they have resewn.
never feeling beautiful.
and never knowing what others see in me.
i have changed.
i now can look in the mirror.
and find the perfections,
Today i watched the movie GIA with my favorite woman in the whole world (angelina jolie)
she did an excellent job if you ask me.
this movie made me cry.
it was so beautifully done. and the drug thing. it really makes you think about what would happen if you started to take drugs.
its difficult when you try to explain to someone what its like to take drugs and all that stuff that goes along with it.
i have no idea why i have decided to still be alive. i am not saying this because i have decided to commit suicide quite the contrary. its just that i have no idea why i didn't do it in the past. life does suck sometimes. and i admit it does feel like more than half the time it sucks like no funny. i suppose i am thinking this because i saw something on television the other day that kind of well startled me. it wasnt gross or sick or perverted or wrong or even remotely interesting to me. it was one of those channels that is all about god and jesus. now, i am the last person on earth(and i don't mean this to offend) that would turn to god at all. i just dont believe in all that stuff. ever since i was a kid my father tried to get me to go to church and be some kind of happy little mormon. well he quit going then he wanted me to go anyway when his faith was totally bullshit. i gave up on religion. as far as im concerned its all just some way to control us and the way we think and do things. but as i was saying this channel really surprise me by accident. i didnt even know it was on. i was watching tv and i came to this channel and i watched it for a few seconds then i swiftly turned it off and said to myself, i just dont give a crap. and i suppose this is mostly true. but i really think about it for a while and i realize that i believe in something too. i believe in something simliar that is just as powerful to me as christ is to others. and you know what im nopt even sure what that is. but i do know that i believe. i believe that i didnt kill myself for a reason even if i dont know what that is. i believe that i am living today as a choice that i made to keep on going. even if it gets worse. i am not sorry that i chose life. i am not sorry that i dont believe like others do. i am not sorry that i have different opinions. even though some people say i should be. for instance . . . pre marital sex. i dont believe in marriage thank you very much. i would have to be heavily pursuaded to get married, and even then only with bribes and money. heehee. sorry that was some kind of joke. mmmmmmph.
warning: if you don't like to read weird twisted stuff, i urge you to turn back now. this stuff is something strange.
he didn't know her.
she was only aware of him as he pumped vigorously between her wide pink thighs.
he sucked greedily on her exposed breasts.
she sighed disgustedly and breathed deeply between her moist lips.
if only he understood fully the consequences of his actions.
so sorry i havent written anything for a while i had to work and im working on getting a new job at the moment too.
i wrote this as if i was the man loving the woman.
when i made love to love itself
feeling is so underrated.
how i feel you around me is like a sweat soaked poem full of beautiful words much worse for wear.
so many of us dont understand what its like to make love . . . to . . . you.
there was a silence that drifted around the corner from somewhere down the street toward me
i waited skipping along in puddles left behind by the intrepid rainstorm
there had been a certian figure shadowy skipping along just the way i was now
i waited i refused to believe that nothing special had happened
he came around the corner and stared at me
he had the deepest darkest bluest eyes i had ever seen
i faltered as the sun did near. cowering in blatant fear.
and had i known that it was dawn. i might not have strayed beyond my lawn.
simple as this would have seemed. could i not be ina dream.
knowing not what eyes saw me. i drifted off toward the sea.
and when the tide rolled back in. in i came upon the wind.
alone in harbors deep and sad. it was there i met a happy lad.
i rushed away so swift and fast. planted myself in the past.
THE TIDE DREW NEAR
THE OCEAN WAS BLUE
I FEARED THE WORST
UNTIL I KNEW IT WAS YOU
I WAITED A DAY
FOR WHEN YOU WOULD COME
THERE WERE OTHERS THERE TOO
I ONLY KNEW SOME
AND WHEN YOU ARRIVED
I DREW IN A BREATH
I WAS SO HAPPY
I KNEW YOUD COME BACK FROM SOMETHING AS BAD AS DEATH
I KISSED YOU DEEP
YOU WERE ECSTATIC WITH JOY
I LET MY FEARS GO TO SLEEP
YOU WERE OVERCOME
BY A FORCE JUST AS BOLD
there inside that dark place we call the mind.
things haunt me like the past haunts a veteran.
i see things that no other person can see.
i am terrified of just being with me.
shadows of an opalescent state.
lurking behind the closed lids of my eyes.
i feel as if my whole being burns from within.
i want so badly to be with you anonymous.
i want to call you my own.
i want to brush your hair as you stare into the mirror.
one moment in time. one moment in space.
there is one hopelessness that shines through the night.
all these children, all these girls. they sit at their bedsides and wait for the dawn.
but it never comes, does it?
they are lost and alone, traveling no known road.
could it be that there was one time when they had emotions too.
when they could feel the pleasures of life and the sorrows of death.
you lay down amongst the shining skies.
put your bare twisted foot on the floor.
bleeding with the pregnant silence around you.
to understand you are living.
to know that you are breathing.
no, let us be, alone with the currents of undertaken responsibility.
there is this place, the kitchen.
you have come to know it as your home.
it is shining with the shards of bitter loving.
she raised her pistol and shot. her bullet hit home in his chest. yes, this was what she had died for. for the pain, for the pleasure.he fell backward and touched the wound gently in shock. he raised his head and yelled, "you!" he was grinning at her when she lowered her pistol, slowly. he tried to reach out to her but was not able. he was
crippled and not just from the bullet. she was suddenly laughing in her maniacal way. it filled the study with a tremble. she was pleased and not just from the bullet. "you thought you could get away with my death. just goes to show you, payback's a bitch!"
okay she decides to kill herself because her girlfriend left her. her girlfriend comes to the house on the morning of their anniversary and leaves the tapestry as a gift to her and of course she makes the fire too. thats why when she looks at the picture she cries and there is no one there to comfort her. she is alone and she doesnt understand why. so she decides that life isnt worth living.
i know it is hard to get all that from the poem so ive decided to revise it and put in some stuff that will make more sense.