Beat Me with a Hammer's picture

updates (Katrina/SC/etc)

i am so bored.... i havent written here in a while, so i thought i'd give it a go and update...

me and my bf are still together almost 2 years now.... its wonderful.... i just lost my house in a hurricane (thanks katrina)....all of my friends have moved to other states... i myself have moved to south carolina....

its lonely here in the bible belt.... everybody's either in the closet or a homophobe, so that doesnt help me much..... i wanna share a few pics i took of my house when i went to new orleans this past weekend....

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um.. go rainbow?!?

i so traded numbers with this girl i met today... looks like my rainbow get-up's finally getting its props... yeah she was all like whats ur name.. im like allison.. and we shook hands and stuff... then we talked a little bit.. (it almost sounded like she was flirting a teeny bit... but ANYWAYS)... and she asked me for my number... she gave me her cell and i gave her mine.. and we like traded numbers and stuff... lol... ahem...

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oh, you've got blue eyes...

oh, you've got green eyes...

oh, you've got gray eyes...

and ive never seen anyone quite like you before...

no, i've never met anyone... quite like you before...


What's Your Race? (just curious)

71% (22 votes)
african american
3% (1 vote)
6% (2 votes)
10% (3 votes)
10% (3 votes)
Total votes: 31
Beat Me with a Hammer's picture

my mistake for trusting her (and myself.. i guess)

I spent the night over at Alanna's house Friday and I knew she'd try something.. I had to sleep inthe same bed with her and we ended up kissing... I tried to stop it so many times,but she "wanted" it..and she said a lot of stupid selfish shit to get it.

Then she wanted me to touch her.. I honestly dont know why i did i, but i hated it.. maybe it was becuase i didnt wanna flat out reject her and hurt her feelings..she didnt want me to tell Aram (my bf) because she didnt want our relationship ruined.. and she didnt want him to hate her... again...

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she'z askin for a second chance

yeah... as u all know.. (those who have wasted their time reading).. my ex gf is still in love with me.. and she's aware of why i broke up with her in th first place... she showed possession over sum guy she wasnt even with.. her ex bf...

while she was with me.. and she was hella selfish... i told her it wouldnt work with me and her because we're just too far on the level of friendship... ya know.. she's not really "lover" material..

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my ex iz still in luv w/ me..

boy am i a lazy monkey.. havent been on here in a while....(i think)...

yeah, well.. im going on with my bf of 7 months.. and my ex girlfriend is still madly in love with me... she has a gf too though... jeanne.. but jeanne is still in love with HER ex gf alex.. *kunfewsing, i know*...

we wanted to do this thing where i take a break w/ my bf.. (lord knows i needed one.. what with the constant fighting and all).. and i'd be with her for a little while... (that part was her idea)...

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the "gay touch"

it started with me and my gf at skool.. when we came out they were all SHOCKED... then it seemed after a while... more and more ppl came out and almost all of them we came in contact with... you know... they were our friends at one time or another... lol..

we think that our undying love for gays has opened other ppl's minds and even went as far as them getting a lil curious as well...its almost like we've got the "gay toucH"... its like who we hang out with and influence magically... "turns gay" or maybe we're all just drawn to each other via gaydar... lol..

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is kissing cheating?!

yeaahh... um.. i saw my ex gf today.. the one who "feigned suicide"..(turns out her dad did the lying)... and while im in a relationship with the loving guy... i.. kinda... sorta.. kissed her... only once and just a peck on the lipz...

me and my bf are totally honest w/ each other.. he told me about him seeing an old friend he used to date... and NOT taking her number.. and i sorta told him about that little kiss... i knew he'd get weird about it.. and i understood why.. and i could do was apoligize... he kept thinking i wanted more from her.. but i swear 2 GOD that i want nothing to do with her sexually..

how likely is it to find ur soulmate when ur still a minor?

very likely
15% (4 votes)
58% (15 votes)
not likely
19% (5 votes)
ver unlikely
8% (2 votes)
Total votes: 26
Beat Me with a Hammer's picture

the hell in my mind

Darkness floods my mind
It's blankness dancing just above my vision
Walls ae closing in on every side
Squeezing harder
And harder against my thoughts
Leaving me empty
And unable to understand
Th pure misery of my life
Panic resides with a loud crack
Lending and mending the trends of harsh feelings
Leaving me to think....
That this must be what Hell feels like


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i'm iz so bored..

yeah i guess u'd call this... like a waste o' time and space... who'da thunk?...

i meant to go over to alanna's (my ex gf) to find out about that whole suicide thing... but her mom hates me...(argh) i have yet to actually see her alive, but if he says so.....

i think i'll post a poem/story...

yeah, thats it....

(it's all i can think of)....*shamed*

One Love

"I'm ready to accept my fate", i thought. "i'm ready to die."

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we are so gonna make this

ive never really been in a long distance relationship and right now being with my bf is really frustrating... i cant see him at all and im only confined to calling him... when he's off work....

i'm 15 years old and my bf's 19... he used to live and go to skool down here in new orleans until his friend's parents (the ppl he stayed with) found out how old i was.. they wouldnt let him see me anymore... what then happened was the unimaginable..

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Uncertain Demise

Disclaimer: They ain't mine

Warnings: Character death, may give nightmares... yeah right!... I wanted to try a supernatural and this is what I came up with....


March 13, 1979

This is Leslie Carter for WKYN News standing in front of what is now known to be an aching tragedy. Just not too long ago, a black Mercedes containing two passengers, a seventeen year old teenager and a twenty-seven year old man, met roughly in a head on collusion with an SUV and spun off the bridge, landing in the river below it. Paramedics say both men were pronounced dead on impact when the car was lifted. Examining the unidentifiable bodies, it was said that both men were infected with the Bubonic Plague-- the disease that spread throughout European cities Florence, Pistoia, and Lucca long ago, through the late 1300's-- and that they were most likely from a family where the disease was still constant. It was also said that these men were already on their way to dying. This has been Leslie Carter reporting for WKYN News.

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Am i really good enough?

I just got off the fone w/ my bf of 6 months and i still wonder what i did to deserve such a loving wonderful guy... i sometimes ask why he's with me or why he loves me because it just seems that theres always someone better... and prettier.. not to mention my mdium to low self esteem... i think im pretty and all but not wow 'em sexy and my bf's just flat out

Anyways.. the past few months with him have been the best months of my short life and i know that this romance will last forever.. ive never been with anyone like him before... i admit that ive been in love twice before.. once with my gf of a year and once i accidently fell for a fuck buddy.. (lmao)... my gf and my relationship lasted a while before i couldnt take it anymore with how bad she treated me (most of the time she ignored me or had something or sometimes someONE better to do)but with him i feel soo good.. he just fuckin makes it worth living cuz honestly if it werent for him, i probably wouldnt be alive today...

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