Tjedza's picture

its too much- i'm scared to love this much

today i woke up, in love,
last night i fell asleep thinking about how in love i am,
and tomorrow i probalby will still be in love... but jesus christ it hurts like helll,
"my heart is like an open highway"- with a couple of potholes and the odd hump here and there,
i'm not mentally stable, my life outseide of her is a mess,
fuck so much could go wrong-
i swear to god if i lose her... i'll lose me,

Tjedza's picture

let me unhook your bra for you..love

Don’t leave my body begging like this…

I can still hear you in my lips
With those Thunderous new secrets pouring out into my mouth
Letting them slide slowly down my tongue
And I can still feel their every motion until they
Land smoothly on my heart as if it were a cushion,

I can still feel you in my mind
Flashes of you laughing, twisting, turning,
Tugging me closer, race and vault from end to end-

Tjedza's picture

don't tell me you don't hate me

Don't tell me you aren't bothered,
Don't stay so silent when i know
you have a mountain of conversations
calculated in your little head,
Don't pretend i didn't hurt your little heart,
Don't pretend to believe my little lies
Don't pretend you're calm
Don't tell me you're okay:
when deep down you're screaming..at me
..at him
..at yourself.
-----------------------------------

my friend just found out that i was seeing her man behind her back...

Tjedza's picture

down here in hell with you.

I really luv it when
I luv it when we make mistakes
Because once again
It gives me a reason to complain
I luv the battle lines
Battle lines we draw and cross in the mud
I luv it when we fight
Standin in the verge
Of breakin up or makin up

What would I do if we were perfect?
Where would I go for disappointment?
Love without Pain
Would leave me wonderin
Why I stay

I think of savin myself

Tjedza's picture

leaving is never easy...

those little moments stuck in the back of my mind...
hopes, dreams... a future.
now I stuff them hurriedly in an ugly brown suitcase
randomly, painfully holding my breath with my eyes firmly shut-
smothering the tears.
mumbling the words.
blocking the nose- numbing all senses.
but the clock makes every second resonate in my ear,
i think of prayers and unanswered pleas begged in sheer desperation that made me the atheist i am now...

Tjedza's picture

sat's are designed for me to fail...

sheer ingenuity and bravado= definite quitessential prerequisites for SATs..

damn, just took my mock SAT examinations and it all became clear to me by this afternoon that though my maths skills arent as half past dead as i thought they were... english clearly is a second language.
what the hell does ignominious mean??
whats a lackidia... ah i forgot the rest of that word... is that english??

Tjedza's picture

cheaters never prosper...liars burn in hell...& lying cheats lose their soul

i fell in love with a boy once and his name was Kc. ( short for kundai chengetai.. yeah kc was a lot easier for A LOT of people. ;))
yeah and he moved away to england... and well
you ever get that " i shoulda said.. could have said... " feeling??
it came real strong for me just today... oh well.

the following is a conversation i had on msn ( just a few hours ago) with my ex boyfriend from like... a year and a half ago...

Tjedza's picture

it would be so empty without me...-mr eminem

I have arrived at the very depressing conclusion that most girls, if not all, demand faithfulness- girls want monogamy.

All I ever ask for in a relationship (the very rare times that I do have them)is sincerity, fun and first-class sex, but nooo the girls I’m with always have an extensive list of demands and stipulations longer than that damn lord of the rings book. I can’t give her the world even though I promise it, because I can give her everything she needs, touch her in every way that pleases her, satisfy her as much as she can handle, tell her everything she wants to hear, buy her anything that she desires, talk to her, be her best friend, take her wherever she wants to go, fuck I’d even give her my keys, let her do as she wishes, but I cannot give her the world because then he will have everything… but me. ( not meaning to sound cocky but- that’s just an incomplete world- after all one cannot work at a relationship by oneself now can they.)

Tjedza's picture

just fear of sleep?

“its dark.. and hell is hot

Tjedza's picture

ndini ani?

ndini ani? ( native subsahran language-shona- meaning: who am i.)

Who am i.

I am the girl that spent her whole month long holiday NOT studying, dam I don’t even think I still remember how to read…

I am the girl that keep hittin on her best friend’s man tonight and made out with him ‘til it got tooooo hot the only thing stopping us was the lack of a rubber… with no remorse, I might add.

Tjedza's picture

the way she moves

Bloom
Petals
Softly
Sway with wind
Like a salsa
In the sun
Single blossom
Solitary
No love nearby
Never to cry
About loneliness
Softly swaying still
As clouds quickly swell
Full of tears for all
The blossom closes

Tjedza's picture

art. i need ...motivation

How do I feel?

I feel like I’m lacking something in my life. I feel like I need inspiration.
I need to be moved, to be motivated.
I need to fall in love.

Just to freefall into a deep dark pit of the unknown and not give a sh coz I’m so madly in love.
I want to be elevated.

I want to make art- make love so good its gotta classify as art. Make love so perfectly, its like a dramatic performance of shakesperean verse…

Tjedza's picture

nostalgia.

a picture is worth a thousand words?

draw me one that screams "i love you"
three hundred and thirty three and a third times.
one can live a life without love,- dare i call it life
, for what is life without passion?
'Tis but a shadow of a shadow
of a shadow
of an empty cloud...
that collapses into rain-
just hollow drops of dreams lost and shattered
now fall from your pretty eyes-
what a waste.

Tjedza's picture

take me as i am

The only normal thing to be is to be different.
I am so different, you call me weird, off-beat, insane- but I’m just expressing myself, as I am. I am just asking you to take me as I am. And if you think that’s weird then, I’m not the one with the problem but instead you are the one with the problem.
I’m not asking you to change, or to adjust your mind and perception in order to accommodate for my lunacy- which I don’t think is lunacy- no.

Tjedza's picture

feelings/moments/women are to be embraced...tight ;)

Inspire me with dreams so wholesome and good
that I may change humanity.

Take me on a trip around the world,
and with no money at all,
make me feel once more as you did before,
like royalty,
crowned with your baseball cap,
enrobed in your zip-up jacket.

Remove my glasses and give me sight,
let me see you so close to me
and in a whisper,
give me knowledge of everything about you-

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