Fairylover2008's picture

My last two days

O.K. last night I had my hair straighened for a
Christmas show today. I can't get my hair wet or it
ruins the straightness. (hum) So know I am
ready for the show tonight and hope that even thought
there is like 5 feet of snow people come out. It
is Christmas related and so I hope people come out
My band is playing and we are going to have so much
fun. But the hour I spent having my hair straighened

Fairylover2008's picture

I know this

I want to know why so many singer feel the need to
lip sync. I was at a show that I was to preform
and I noticed the act before and after my band both
had the equipment and where lip sync. I asked the
first act before me why and she said because she
didn't have the equipment to hear herself. I don't
either but I know I am on the note because I have
always know. I know but the way my voice sounds after.

Fairylover2008's picture

This time around

This morning Bethlina made the choice for me. She
had her bags packed and asked me to take her to the airport.
She called mom while I was getting dressed to go with
her I called a cab after she got off the phone needless
to say my father flipped and wanted me to come home
with her. I am not going back home unless there is
a funeral that needs my body. At home I am not who
I am here. I fall back into the child who cuts, who cries

Fairylover2008's picture

Happy Birthday to me

So today is my birthday. Lots of shiny things that I
might or might not need. I got a pair of pants 2 pairs
of jeans a pair of sweatpants. 2 pairs of girls
boxers, A pair of sleep shorts, a starsign shirt,
a hoodie that says naughty but nice, shoes, and a
new doll for my doll collection. Plus I got my grades
all of them today two a's two bs and one c. I
don't know how I am going to pull thought this next

Fairylover2008's picture

Maybe

I didn't think I could every go back to cutting
just looking at my arms and my legs and all the scars
but last night I did but I didn't do it hard enough to
draw blood and I don't know why I did it again.
It didn't make me feel better it made me hurt even more.
Knowing that my younger sister was in the living room watching MTV
and I was in the bathroom with this razor blade posed
above my wrist. I came to the thought just two years that

Fairylover2008's picture

I can't be sure

Knowing that someone is watching me is scarey and I
always have that feeling that when I am with someone
someone is following us. The folder and photos really
scared the crap out of me. I had a show last night with
my band and I felt the whole time I was on stage that someone
other than the aduience was watching me. Then again
I could just be paranoid. and if that was what someone
wanted to do guess what they did it. I haven't done this

Fairylover2008's picture

Azuta'n baba (next baby)

You think you know me I carry what I need and you never
try to get to know me The shadows that cover whole
parts of my life the damage I have gotten for the
pain I have endured the reason I fear to love the reason
I cry alone in my room asleep the many rooms I
find I didn't know and the marks left in my
life you don't know that part of me and you
don't know the whole story

Fairylover2008's picture

Babyish

All we do know is fuss and fight we call it quits
simple so we can start all over with someone else
I like to get away I like to run sometimes from the
problems I can let you lean on me anymore
To fix your problesm I have my own
call me selfish called me whatever but
I have my own problems to handle and sometimes
I am babyish

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Fairylover2008's picture

Crazy Child

Childish
What to believe when whats coming from your mouth
is a lie you see you use to stand up and say I wasn't this
or that but I am I'm what you didn't want me to be I won't
pretend I'm not When you said I wasn't I let you
be navie for the simple fact I didn't want to face
it

Fairylover2008's picture

Am I going crazy

I left this morning at 8 to go to breakfast with Jonathan
On my way out I heard someone call my name but I
was in a hurry. So i ignored it and kept going.
Well when I got home I had forgot about it. Well I just went
and checked the mail and in my mail box was a folder
It says in the fount Private I. I brought it in with the
mail and opened it on the inside is pictures of my
father and his first wife in Mississippi. On one of the

Fairylover2008's picture

Just found out

Yesterday I got three of my grades
Writing 2 was a C
Learning Stag was a A the class that requried I give
a speech on both sides of Homosexuality
Basic Math was a B.

My next term is hard I have begin spanish. I have
philosophy, Intro to Journalism. English Comp 1 and
Elem Algebra which is going to give me the most problems
that and spanish. I only know one other language besides
English and that is Maygar.I am doing good to

Fairylover2008's picture

My sister and Hand

My Sister

You see the glossy image of my life and you think
thats the person on the inside. You see one and you
think everyone who follows is the same. I am
a person all on my own don't get me in a state
where I am not able to fight for myself. I am not
one to back down and life isn't easy for you thought
it was always there the money,the cars, the chance to
fuck who you wanted and your parents would pay them to shut up

Fairylover2008's picture

Another Chapter in My Life

O.K. so I have a story to tell when I first entered
my freshman year the rumers start to fly and let me tell you
hearing this person and that person is gay became
a normal everyday thing. Well I meet my best friend
for life in my freshman year at this private school.
Jess as I am going to call her. I knew and she made it
know that she was bi leaning more towards girls
and maybe since I was fourteen I just wanted to be

Fairylover2008's picture

Strained and stuff

The other day when I spent half the afternoon with
Jonathan I heard some people talking around us. When he was asleep almost
on my shoulder. I heard what was going on around me
When we where talking later in the main room of the
campus center We where talking about guys. Well
sometimes this can be Jonathan's fave subject (see
that he is gay and everything) Well it got off on
guys going to war well it got to Jonathan and he said if he had to go

Fairylover2008's picture

The Real ME and That Girl

The Real Me
I want you to know me the real me the girl behind the girl
The behind the glass the girl always set up on
display. Why everyone turns away when I'm broken
hearted escape me. I'm stuck on the inside looking
out not wanting your help this time I won't hide
and I won't run away I'm stuck between a child and
a adult. A child in an Adult body its hard to understand
where I belong when no one is offering me a hand to hold

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