Fairylover2008's picture

Homework Not Done

Feelings- Sad, Hurt, Lonely, Bored, Tired, rushed

Why- Sad and hurt because I can't stop myself from
cutting. Lonely I feel alone and I can't reach out
to anyone. I can get on stage and pour my heart out
and no one is listening. Bored because don't have
a job and I don't have anything to do Tired because
I have been everywhere today and nowhere important
rushed because I have a bunch of homework and no time in

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Its changed again

FEELINGS TODAY- Sad, Lonely Mad, Pissed and Hurt

Why? Sad, mad, pissed because I just got fired from
my job and know I am using contacts out my
ass to get a new job. Lonely because I am just feeling
like I am all alone in this world right know. Going
back to who I use to be is no fun. Hurt because
I am still cutting and its not making me feel any better

Anything but this- I just lost my job because I refused

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Silent tears unheard
Silent pleas reborn
Silent screams not meationed
Day lights came and alls forgotten
Abuse mistrust when day lights on you forget
them all in time to meation the silent things
that happen
Silent cuts unwanted
silently begging for attention
drowning in a silent gulp
you'll forget who you where silently as it takes
you over
silent nights turn into silent days

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I think I think

Maybe not a journal but hey its worth it.
sad-confused-restless,hurt,ready to cry-tense

Sad because I am trying so hard to be who I want
and not getting anywhere yet.
Confused about who I want and why I want them I
am not sure what I want or why and I am trying
hard to figure it out
Restless because it feels like I have nothing to
do I am just paceing the floors like a caged anamial.

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Maybe I can talk

Maybe I can explain what was happening about the
time of my last post and why I was crying so much
I had a lapse of strenght and I still am. When
I was younger about 15 and 16 I got to the point where
I would sleep with someone if they whispered the
right things in my ear at the right time. Well
a guy the other night did that and I was about to
go home with him when my best friend and the mother

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I can't explain much of anything right know I
am crying to hard I'm going to just post a poem to
explain and explain more later.

I close my eyes as the tears come again I feel
so used because one night and you won't be a grown
up and call me back so I lay on the bed dull
holding a stuffed anamial looking all of ten and crying
See its useless to ask you to care cause
your cold you broke my heard and I can't get use

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Underneath your clothes

Based on a song. I have just been hanging out not
really worrying all that much about anything. I
am hanging out with friends, and the family I
choice. I have been taking care of my godsons
and my almost sisters baby she is so tried from
staying up with him all night and yet he seems fine
during the day. So I am spending the night with her
tonight. I think these people see me like I see my

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New Poetry

O.k. I signed up to take a creative writing course
for last saterday this saterday and the next saterday
well I have fallen in love with a new kind of poetry
its called story poetry and I have already posted
one of them on here and didn't get much responds
from it so I am guess there isn't much that anyone
knows about it or if they do they just don't like
it. So I am going to use this to explain it a little

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Its been yuk day

Yesterday I had a doctors appointment and left
with a handful of prescriptions. The things they
didn't give me. Your in pain oxycotion, you have
head aches ok. i'll give you this you think your
depressed so do I heres a theropist name and some
anti depressates. It doesn't matter if I wasn't or
was he gave me a bunch and I sherded them and didn't
ge them. I am one person who is pretty much anti

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Meanwhile in the history of

O.K. in the history of my college experence. I am
expected at this point to know enough to write sentences
I'll tell you I can tell you my name, tell you yes
or no tell you thank you and goodbye good morning
and a few very limited other thing. Well she
wanted us to go to this site which is all in french
and get information of the Eiffle tower off it and
and I couldn't get the site to give the me the information

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My Life History

Enyem Elet Tortenelem (My Life History)
A short story really

I stood and looked at this women I used to know
I leaned against the door frame. This was the present
The baby crys and she walks right past me I'm not
standing there I simply a ghost seeing everything
but no seen by anyone
Then suddenly I've gone back almost eight years
Two ten years olds sitting on swings teasing each other

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My Time

I am laying on my bedroom floor at the moment. Writing
on here taking notes on law and listening to the radio.
I was down here to find shoes and found out my floor
is comfortable more so than the desk and the chair that
goes with it. i like my mushroom chair a lot for doing home
work or being on the internet also. I sometimes
take a nap since at noon it is directly in the sun and
i sometimes like to sleep in the sun. But right know

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Long Trip

I just got back into town today I called out of work till
saterday I was happy to go see people who atucally knew me
They just didn't act like they did they did. Erik
left this week to go on tour and Sunday Leo comes back into
town he gets to meet Josh along with the rest of us
again for the first time in almost a year. I missed
him and I didn't relize it till the other night before
I left when I took a look at that stage and relized

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My View

This first one is for a friend the other two
protain to me.

I did something yesterday that I don't regret
I got married you got an invition I know I made
sure it was hand develivered I wanted you to know
first everyone thought I was crazy to invite you then you
didn't even show up
For the first time in a long time I see you with your girlfriend
you call me by my new last name and toss a smile

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take on you is simple

I saw it happening all the time the home I grew up in
you should know I've been though a lot and baby
I'd like to give it all but Listen to my story first

My dad was distant love was given with good grades
Daddy was in the military and he vebal abused my
mom and my little sister(s) I missed it cause I
tryed to love just like I was taught to but you where
cold and distant and didn't care

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