Fairylover2008's picture

I would thought

I talked to this guy for 3 hours last night and
since this seems to be the only thing really happening
in my life that I feel like talking about it
gets posted here. Still confused but at least last night
knowing how he feels makes me a little more sure
of what I am doing and where for the moment
I am going Its odd to feel like every song on the
radio is talking to my heart. I can't really handle

Fairylover2008's picture

Seemingly

It seems with no sleep for four days and my emotions
on a rollarcoaster I should be more unstable. I've
held up amazingly well for someone who is going
thought hell and not having a good day. It feels
like I have been up much to long and no sleep sucks
for me and some of the others I think this
guy I am trying to find out how I feel for him is
going to be around either as a friend or more it

Fairylover2008's picture

I like this

I am just so in love with this guy and it is driving me to the breaking point
i need to stay on point because this is the last month of class and i need to
pull thought it and get out so that my three months during summer i can party
it up. this could be the one thing that keeps my band here instead of moving
this could be the one person who makes me feel like the world kind of revovles
around me. i like him and i don't want to really decide rather i need to stay here

Fairylover2008's picture

Hes got me

Again last night we spent are time in WalMart this time
Walking around the store. I got brave enough to hold
his hand and not really give a fuck rather anyone
gave me werid looks or not. I am just letting all
my fears go and see where this takes me. I guess
in the end I am happy to just see where it goes
even thought I could end up with a broken heart
I didn't want to leave last night and when I got

Fairylover2008's picture

Maybe I should

I didn't relized that my friends have been trying to guide me and let me know
what they think about this guy and that they totally think I should go for it with him
i on the other hand am not so sure about what i want to do not like a lot of them
and i don't think i should i could get hurt and i could end uo in a lot
of pain that i dont need. then i think about it and i think maybe i should because

Fairylover2008's picture

Place at Midnight

This poem tells my story with that guy in the last
couple of journal entrys. I am still very confused
and this is more of an epic than a poem.

To want you scares the crap out of me
One night and I've fallen so hard that
I'm scared I' going to get hurt and right
know I can't be this confused or else I'll pay the
price

One night in the rain with the lighting flashing
around me I'm on my knees and I was watching the

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Fairylover2008's picture

Me

Since the time of my last post a lot has happened. So many people are against
me dating him. First he is seven years older than me and people want me to
stay away from someone who would be older than me. Second its the best kept secret
on the floor. Everyone knows and yet no one had really said anything to me or
him. Two other girls on the floor also like him and there has been an ongoing
fuerd that if it comes down to it who would have who's back. I don't want to get invovled

Fairylover2008's picture

O.K. I have to keep Update

O.K. so I haven't seen him in a couple of days and I am pretty sure that I still
like him.Its hard because I am not use to this feeling. I don't know what I want
and I am trying not get attached not becoming attached is my idea. Maybe in the
time it takes me to get to work tonight I won't want to see him and that would
make me even more confused. My fear is that I don't want to like him but my thoughts

Fairylover2008's picture

Identiy Crisis

I have had a life change thing happen and now I
am not sure who I am any more. Phyiscal I am still
o.k. mental and emotional I am a trainwreak. Not sure
what was going on. I am probably going crazy or
even worse overreationing to something that isn't
really as bad as I think. I think it is possible
the worse thing. How can a guy make my whole world
change in an hour. It isn't right I was secure in

Fairylover2008's picture

In My Room

Why is that I can get a guy to look at me but trying
to get a girlfriend I have to jump thought hoops
I hate it. I have two guys who like me one likes me
only as a friend but he makes me nearous because he
hints that it could be more. Then the guy who just keeps
hitting on me. A lot of us from work are going bowling
Tue. A lot of us have the day off and we said lets go bowling
We all said we would bring someone outside of work.

Fairylover2008's picture

Times

I don't really know what I am doing here lately
I am just bouncing around the paper came out yesterday
afternoon and I am on campus The phone can't ring
cause I have left it off the hook. The girl who usually
shares an office with me is trying to put it back on
the hook and I finally snapped at her and told her
to leave it off the hook. Everytime she puts it on
there it rings. She is going to Campus Room's to get

Fairylover2008's picture

The Grade

My paper was due on the gay and lesbian couples in a postive light. Of course
the backlash from my last paper is still going strong. Writing a story in this
schools paper is a pain in the ass. Heading to another state with my band next
year is going to be odd. Since we are all of age we can go where we want
The plan was to wait till Leo comes back and then go on a trip to promote are
music it seems we might be staying in Tennessee. Something I am not sure I am

Fairylover2008's picture

Our Family

Sitting in class head in the crook of my arm looking
helpless lost is my postition in Math and Spanish.
I can barely keep myself awake. In Journalism I was
given a tough assignment that shouldn't be hard
to write a story fictional or not in a positive light
about gay and lesbian family's. This isn't really
a problem except the backlash from my recently
published piece of work. "How Lesbian and Gay Youth's Deal, They Don't."

Fairylover2008's picture

Everything and yet nothing

Monday I worked then the next day I had off then
Wed I worked and know I have the next two days off
Sat and Sund I pull parts of doubles and I really
want to get another job and quit ryan's but it doesn't
look like thats going to happen. Still no one is hiring.
I really need a new job and one that going to understand
school, my sister and my life. I don't live at this job and I shouldn't
have to I have a life outside of it not to meation

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Fairylover2008's picture

Job Sucks

I might be a little close to either getting fired or quitting and I
am not sure which I am just so pissed with
all the manager because they know I have school
on Monday and the want me to close on Sunday
Which means I would only get five hours of sleep
before I had to turn around and go to spanish class
it isn't about to happen. I am failing Spanish class
as it is. I need to pass all my class and there

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