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Glancing over all these self mutilation posts...

And there's just one thing I want to say. One thing I read was what someone wrote, where they said, basically: "I cut because I can control it". And hey, I don't like arguing and yelling, but it's not something you can control. Alcoholics say that. People addicted to smoking say that. Anything you do that hurts you in any way that you can't stop or talk yourself out of most of the time, is something controlling you, not you controlling it. And yes, I've experienced that shit, it sucks hell, I know. BUt I wasn't in control, and I know it. I knew it then. I bloody bought a knife to cut myself with, and I'm proud to say I ditched it when I cleaned out my room recently. Good thing too, because it was quite bloodstained.

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Excerpt from my NaNovel, "Whispers"!

Hope you like it! This is one of my most favourite scenes from the first draft of my movel. Note, I said first draft, so it's very rough and uneditted, but I still love it. ENJOY!!!


Kamali stayed in bed for ages, several days she believed, letting everyone come and go as they pleased, but worrying incesantly whenever they did. Finally, she only left to go hunt. She was terrified. She’d seen the other Whisper be killed nad came back to see the dead human gone, taken away. What if the humans had been around then, and had seen her? What if they tried to kill her this time, to shut her up?

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NaNovel Itself

Well, I've decided to put my novel from NaNoWriMo up on the internet. It's not public exactly, because that would mean losing my 'first electronic rights', but it's on one of my LJ's, under friends protection.
For a little background(foreground?) info, it's an urban/comtepory fantasy, set iin the now. It involves a dramatic twist on the traditional vampire - put it this way, they don't even drink blood. It focuses heavily on the elemental force of the wind, and also on manipulation, both human and otherwise.

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Lonely now...

Wow, I've been psoting a lot lately. Well, sorta, I guess. It's mostly NaNo, then other stuff, so not that much overall, I suppose. ***Warning*** This entry is very long. Sorry folks.
What I'm writing now is just something to let off steam, because I'm feeling quite lonely right now. See, my friend, whom I'll call Kiki(my nickname in real life for her! agret alias, methinks), just today hooked up with this guy she's been lusting after (ie, been friends with) for a couple months now.

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What do you do when you’re lost?
When the path you’ve choosen and been on
Splits apart into many pathways
Each of them so different than each other

Behind, a weaving road
Broken and storm damaged in places
But safely traversed
All the different pathways that were once there
Vanished into the distance
Leaving only the single one

Ahead, so different, and yet so alike
Many paths, and only one to choose

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I rule, dammit! I failed NaNoWriMo last year, but I didn't goddamn fail it this year! I got my 50K, and damn near sweated blood to get it too. I worked hard, and spent nearly 46 hours just writing.. that doesn't even count all the hours I spent thinking and broswing forums because I was stuck, or the sleep I lost because my mind wouldn't just shut up... but I won. I WON, DAMMIT! I WON!


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48K! 2K TO GO!!!

OMG! I'm going to make this really short, but I have 2000 words to go, and I have 2 hours and 37 minutes to write them in. My average speed is 1000 words an hour,so yay! I can actually DO this! Fucken hell yeah! *writes madly* It's like pulling teeth, these last 2500 words, but it's going to be SO WORTH IT!!!

--Tarni, writing like a mad mule

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OMG! 45K down, 5K to go! I have one hour left of tonight, then it's the last day I can finish this thing.. well, the last day I can get to 50K and get it valified anyway. The story itself won't be finished for ages! At least several thousand more words, and then quite a few edits, but getting the first draft down is one of the hardest things for me, so YAY!! Only 5K more!

*dances around like a crazy mule*

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40000 WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMFG! I just got to 40K (40068 words to be exact!) and I have 10K to go in two days! AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHH!! *gets to writing like a mad mule!!!*

... don't ask, okay?

Love you all!

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Ouch. Fuck.

My back fucken hurts from sitting in this stupid chair for so long, but I ned to get another 1000 words done on my NaNovel. Pain pain pain.. I was happy a minute ago that I'd reached 35K, but then I moved to get comfortable and wham! Major pain. Fuck.

God grant me painkillers..


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Melbourne weather is just... weird

Well, not long ago - I think two weeks ago, to be exact - our little town/suburb was flooded because we had so much rain.
Today it's 28 degrees C, and heading for 34+ on the weekend. Dry as a bone, and the rivers are back down to low levels. Meh...
Not much to say.. it's quite warm, I have to write at least 2.5k, hopefully more, every night, and 5k on both Saturday and Sunday to finish NaNoWriMo on the 50k goal, but aside from that... hmm.. what else?

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OMFG! I've done 3/5ths of my NaNovel! 30000 words!

So I'm a little behind- I don't bloody care, I made it to 30K! The last K was hell but I made it, tonight! At 11:57! OMG! I ahve 20K left to go into 9 days, but fucekn hell, I can make it!


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Crap! Exams! +Damn I'm Tired +Other Stuffiness

Marf.. I had an entry typed up but my internet went screwed and killed it. So.. yeah, we have bloody exams on Monday(it's Saturday night), and I have to revise and shit because I have a yr11 exam(I'm in yr10) on the first day.
I'm kinda pissed because my friend who I was going to take with me to a party can't go (("There's going to be alcohol+no one to watch you!" "Uh, what about Tarni's sister(ag24)?" "No, she'll be drinking so she won't keep an eye on her little sister+friend!" Bleh...)), but there's two more coming up in the same week, so that's pretty cool.

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OMG! I live in Australia, and we're just out of a drought (some places are still in drought), and yet the little creek that runs through my suburb/town flooded today, majorly! Several bridges are under and quite a large area of low-lying land is under too, and it's just cool! *grins* I love it!


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I love eggs!

Or, to be more exact, EGG, with captial letters. It stands for E**** Gay Group, and before I go any further, stop reading. Not everyone from this site, I mean -you-. You know who you are, I'm not going to reveal who -exactly- you are on the internet again, now just piss off and leave me alone. This is MY life, not yours, and I -will- tell you to fuck off if you mention this entry to my face, because then I'll know who you are, bitch. And yes, if you read my stuff, I will call you a bitch.

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