You guys that live in the UK might have seen Middlesex on Thursday, and for everyone who didn't or doesn't live here it was basically this program looking at sexuality and gender and how it's treated all over the world and that. I was cleaning my room and plucking my eyebrows and normal nighttime things like that while it was on so I missed bits of it but what I saw was pretty fascinating.
It opened with the story of this transgender girl who was beat up and killed by these four boys, two of which had been her lovers. Basically they'd been at a party and it had gotten out she hadn't always been a she and the boys I guess were embarrassed everyone knew they'd slept with what they thought of as essentially a guy and...they killed her.
Then there was an interview with her mother who had a picture of her daughter on a table and honestly if I would picture a preppy American homecoming queen...it would have looked like her. This girl was in no way an obvious transsexual, she looked...too pretty. I know that’s a shocking thing to say but that’s how I felt and I think that’s how the audience were supposed to feel. We just weren't expecting to see a hot, normal looking girl. It was a great way to open the program and it kina got me hooked so I kept on watching...and it was so worth it.
Has everyone read the poll just now about you’re last day on earth? Well I was doing it and I just remembered a great game I play when I’m bored in class. It’s along those lines except you’re time limits 20 minutes and your not saying what you wanna do, you actually have to do it.
This game is great to play if you have nothing else to do (e.g. you’re in class!) It’s called ’20 minutes till the end of the world’ (not very original but meh, not my name)
i feel bad 'coz i haven’t posted in so long but it's been the run up to the exams and things have been a little hectic so forgive me! lol i have no idea who i'm talking to really but i'll just keep going.
It’s national/worldwide AIDS awareness day guys, but I’m on exam leave so I can’t join in with the charity stuff at my school but I have a ribbon already so it’s all good I guess. My friend looked kind of sad when I mentioned it today because her friend died of AIDS a few years ago…so I don’t really want to go on about sad subjects anymore.
I was just wondering how many folk here go to LGBT youth groups? I don’t…but that’s partly because I just don’t have any spare time just now, anyways I wondered how many folk did even though Oasis is in effect a LGBT group.
23 days till CHRISTMAS!!!!! (not including today or xmas day)
I got a shock a few days ago. I was feeling kina shitty and upset for no real reason and all of a sudden it was like “oh I think I wanna go onto Oasis to make myself feel better…
On Wednesday we had Reverend Brown giving us a question and answer session in my Religious Studies class. My friend whose a Christian told me that he was really good and so I went in with a good view of him but now I’m not sure what to think.
The second question was “do you believe in gay marriages
I just had a random thought, should i change my avatar? i take hours searching for purdy gay pics...but i never really use them.
I’m in a really emotional mood. Which is kind of normal for me because I’m always having strong mood swings. Sometimes I feel like people would enjoy being with each other more if they let themselves drown in feeling. It would be simple without social constrictions or embarrassment.
Sometimes I wish people around me were much more open. None of my friends are openly homophobic...except Andrew but I reckon he wouldn’t mind if I was a dyke (he’s a straight guy after all) I’m lucky to have friends that support me…but only a few of them understand
Although matt says, “I’m not homophobic
I guess we all hear people talk about other 'gay' folk all the time...i think I’m especially sensitive to it for obvious reasons but lately i keep hearing all these homophobic insults. For this whole week though everything people say has been honest to god hilarious.
I was relaxing on the sofa at night watching music channels and VH2 was playing morrissay (sp?) My dad was sitting next to me and he sais:
Ok so this is separate because I wanted to tackle it on it’s own. I don’t have any idea what it’s like for other people in school and stuff having to deal with homophobia but where I live it’s either accepted as a part of you or your set on fire for it. You just have to figure out who it’s safe to tell. Amazingly enough the lines aren’t that clear.
I’m not out to a lot of people and unless you’re clued into looking for lesbians I guess most people are ignorant to the fact I am. To everyone I know it must be quite obvious because of the way I act but…what can I say? NEDs are ignorant.
Contradiction is a wonderful thing. I mean if we never suffered we would never learn to appreciate our good experiences.
This is what I’ve been realising all day because I actually listened in religious Studies rather than staring at Amy. Ok so you guys don’t know who Amy is. I don’t either come to think of it. All I know it that she’s cute and we’re the only people sitting in a two in that class…and we just got our tables moved round for some reason so I can look at her and make it look like I’m staring out the window. Happy Days.
How obvious do you think being gay is?
I know a lot of people who think a 'gaydar' is bullshit but I’m not so sure. I mean I can usually tell if people are open minded about that sort of stuff…and I’m good at figuring out if guys are gay…I don’t meet as many lesbians (sadly) but when I do sometimes I can just be walking past and my brain just screams “lesbians
Ok i'v been ranting for two nights strait now but i can't help it. I'm just in one of those moods! Matt keeps getting pissed at me when i insinuate he's gay. i don't really mean it but it pisses him off so much i just can't resist. The only reason i DO do it is because he hates the fact he might be gay. I know he's not but it's weird how comfortable he can be with me and yet he hates the idea it could affect him. And when i told him ages ago "you never think being gay would be a big thing until it happens to you..." and he goes "not really -it's part of who you are" well he's right it is...but it also affects you big time.
I feel so tired lately, tired and confuzzled about everything.
I don't feel like explaining it all either but i'll try anyway. Lou and Matt (who are gf and bf) are two of my best friends right...except nearly a year ago i was round at my (once) best friends house emz' and we were mucking about and it ended up getting sexual. Emz was going out with someone at the time...and she knew it was wrong but she's done stuff without her partners consent since then. Anyway that freaked me out to say the least and i guess i was just really scared and i didn't have anyone to talk to since emz was my best friend. So afterwards we never mentioned it again and i made myself 'forget' it ever happened. At the same time me and matt were really close and people were suspicious but honestly nothing was even going through my head about matt. Then i sort of started to lead him on...just to prove to myself i was strait. But one night it went too far. Me, matt emz and her bf were all in her room and we were playing a sort of sex game. nothing serious we were just mucking about. And all the time i knew this was my chance to play my part with matt, and all i could think of was 'i wish the guys would fuck off so i cud have emz to myself'. Lou (matt's gf) found out about that night and matt and lou broke up. There was a whole fight between all of us for a few months afterwards, but mainly it was lou and matt working things out and getting back together.