why does everyone care about football? its dumb. but it is a good excuse to have a dance.
the general belief in terms of dates is that I'm not going with andy but should be. you (whoever you are) dont want to hear about the romances of all the poeple around me, so I wont say anything.
I was in a musical set in the fiffties. not a very well known one so thats all I'll bothere saying.
here is what followed:
I would love to tell allie that I like girls...... she wouldnt care and she would actually understand a few weird-ness-es that I dont think she currently does. BUT allie is convinced shes insane, not quite eating and sure that shes selfish. it just seems a little cruel to give her more to be stressed out about.
Like a huge orb through a needle
You were the first to see it
The first to draw it out
To fill it a patched balloon until
It hung luminous
My own moon
To big now
Wont go back through
Ill give half of it to you
You dont mind
wow..... its been forever hasnt it just?
"pitiful creature of darkness
what kind of life have you known?
god give me courage to show you
you are not alone...."
The phantom is cooler than Raoul by alot...... but yes obsessed now....
there is another large crisis going on now (will they never end?) but a boy liked a girl then hated her then liked a boy anmd now is acting odd and likes the girl again and denies saying anything against her......
Me and alexa have had many many many long aim conversations about everything ("loosing my religion" to random letters to why people suck) and I am so close to coming out to her. honestly, alexa is like a guidence couniler, everyone babbles off thier problems to her. I would feel kind of bad sticking my selfishly kept secrets on her. Not that it would be anything new to her. but still
I have had three dreams now with the same girl in them. I dont know her and she's diferent ages in diferent dreams. everytime I "see" her, I feel like I know her really well. I remember last night I had a conversation with her about who she was but I can remember it. does anyone else do thins kind of thing? am I way out there insane?
I got into the happy choir!!!!!!! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!!!!!!! and the math team!!! more happy!!!
We just started persuasive (like I know how to spell it) speaches. like the coward I am, I'm not doing gay marrige (mat is doing anti-gay marrige). I'm doing internet filtering.
we started art this semester and it sucks. ("now we're going to draw a circle. can you draw a circle?"). but my table is great. my chair is very close to the chair of the girl I liove. (not a typo.)
I had a really long conversation witha particularly articulate friend about what makes people like people. we came to no definate conclutions though. anyway... she named her tea after me... it made me feel special.
I am so many reasons
for so many things
I wonder if you know me
and what do you see
I know so many jokes
you wouldnt understand
I am so many people
each dying to be heard
Maybe someday I'll tell you
the story of all their lives
For today I'm just yours-
Today I joined my friends lunch group. Which is when once a week they eat the guidence conseler and have discussions. Today, it was regrets. I regret lots of things, mostly having to do with not standing up to people, but I didnt really want to relate them to a buch of people I barley know.
My point is, my friend, Allie, aparently did the same thing I did in sixth grade, she just got a head start... but that isnt even her biggest regret... any way she did hers in a nuch subtler way than I did and she's alot calmer and more able to talk than I am. It just made me think, y'know? Even better, one of my friends was ABSOULTLY convinced Allie was perfect, and she isnt anymore.
I find new years to be the stupidest holiday ever. why does everyon think that over one night they can suddenly get ton more motivated to do whatever it is they want to do so much. why is it the end of the year? if you really want something you should be able to work hard all year. oh well.
TO everyone though: cheers.
I think my friend thinks I'm a lesbian. I really dont feel like writing down the whole conversation but basicaly she's all "I wonder what its like to be a lebian" and then goes on for a while about how she doesnt know. then when she asks if I understand I ask her if she s just crypticly asking if I like girls. she SAYS no, she would just ask but then she all "Im not homophobic" and then the conversation ends.
why is it so much easier to talk to your friends of a year then your friends of your life? I can come out unpropted to a girl I had known at the time for about six months but even when Maddie asks I cant tell her. I think it may be the age diference. some thing about having someone whose known you since you were one and she was three know things you prefer to keep from the world... it just gives them to much power.
soo.. new school, new state, new time zone. I am with the evil small children known as sixth graders!!!! I hate every single teacher, and most kids. but Rachel is nice. rachel ALMOST makes up for everyone elses whatever-it-is-that-buggs-me-so-much. our heath teacher is a moron. and unsypathetic. and stupid. there was a nazi thing on the back of a chair and he did nothing.