Currently Listening To: Scissor Sisters: Take Your Mama
Waking up at 6:57- still trying to dislodge that odd dream from your head. Surely you don't like her in THAT way? For goddess's sake, she's your best friend- the first person you ever came out to, the only person to got MSN to talk to, the one person who can take your Alyson Hannigan and Anna OC obsessions without screaming, the one person who shares your kooky sense of humour and the ability of laugh over something so simply as bubbles.
Ok- I'm sick of it right now- all I want is to trade all but one of my Maths lessons for English or Child Developemt- the subjects I actually need. I haven't really got any career choices yet, but I can assure you that whatever I want to be will not require me to have an advanced knowledge of any of the following:
2) Lines of symmetry
5) Long divison/multiplication.
Why is it that when I've just managed to get over a guy- he decides to be all flirty and friendly with me. Admitedly he's my mate- but we've never normally been THAT close in lessons. Now he's play-fighting with me, always happy to see me and always striking up conversations- as well as sticking up for me. I'd be in heaven, except I don't feel any attraction towards him what so ever- and I'm still nto sure whehter he just wants to be really close mates or what. Uggggh- to top it all, I think I'm crushing on a girl I barely know- but she's so pretty that every lad at school loves her- plus she's straight. Damn.
I don't care how she looks, I don't care about how she dresses- what I want is a girl who doesn't give a damn about who looks- but who wants to cuddle up everywhere: on the bus, in the cinema, at sleepovers, even when we're walking into town. I want someone who's happy to curl up with a cup of tea and a good book, or who'll happily giggle at the adverts while we hold hands on the sofa. I want someone who'll kiss me when she's happy, and kiss me hwne she needs cheering up. I want someone to love.
God, I love her- she's so understanding about me being bi, and yet she doesn't seem to understand that I love her. I love everything about her: her gorgeous red hair, which curls down her back and makes my fingers tingle with the longing to stroke it; her eyes which sparkle with happiness, even when she cries and, most importently, her laugh- her giggle, especially when I'm the one causing it.
I finally told my friend about my being bi- and she took it really well. I daren't tell her face to face, and so in one of our many MSN conversations, I asked her three 'hypothetical' questions- two were to do with her crush, and one was 'How would you react if you found out I wasn't eniterly straight?" She said it wouldn't change a thing between us, and so I explained that although I wasn't sure, I thought I might be bisexual. She was fine about it- and now I'm glad I told her. Hope my other friends take it was well, but I still daren't tell my parents- I know they'll just say I'm being dumb.