Damn, this has been bugging me for a while. It sounds quite vain and self indulgent- but I couldn’t give a shit….
Back story: Before I found my little group of friends, I was a complete loner- I was also a Goth and pretty much the class freak. I didn’t care too much though; I skipped lunch and volunteered in the school library whenever I could- so it wasn’t like I was just hanging around on my own all the time. Then I made some friends, who didn’t like the library, so I stopped working in the library and started to hang around with them instead. They’re pretty cool guys, accepting and everything- although to begin with they weren’t Goth and didn’t really like much about the Gothic culture- other than some punk music.
Ok, has anyone here tried to act straight by spotting hot people of the opposite sex when out with friends? Well, I did- or so I thought...
There I was, hanging with mates and picking out some people that, if we were braver, we would have gone up and asked out. I didn't want to declare my gay-ness/bi-ness by picking out just girls (don't know why, just seemed right at the time) and so I focused on the great looking Goth guy stood with his mates. Admitedly, I could ony see his back- but he had the chin length, black hair, rucksack covered in badges, black baggy trousers and black long shirt. I nudged my mates and pointed over to the gang, then described the guy I'd picked. We played the game for a little while longer, then got bored and walked off- past the gang of Goth lads. As we passed them I turned around and smiled at the person I'd chosen...only to see a beautiful Goth girl dressed in guys clothes- which isn't too unusual for Goths. I guess that goes to show that even when I try not to be- my true intents come out!
(A story that I need to improve, but needed to put down before I forgot it. I know the grammar is bad, and there's probably a few typos- but I'd appreciate any ratings.)
Andrew couldn’t sleep, no matter how much he tossed and turned or read or meditated he just couldn’t sleep. He’d stayed up watching late night/early morning TV, and had almost been swayed into buying some sort of SuperTool with extra attachments until he realised he’d never use it. He’d tried every technique he could remember reading about: deep breathing and visualisation, mathematics and even counting sheep, but in the end he gave up trying, and just decided to wait, just wait patiently until his eyes couldn’t stay open any longer, and his brain finally switched off and brought dreams of happier times, times when Nick was still around.
Ok- weird title, but it's true! I've recently been watching a lot of Daria (if you've never seen it, it's a cartoon which follows the life of Daria Mogendorfer- a sarcastic, alienated, smart teenager in a world full of brainless, beauty obsessed popular people.) Anyway...I have recently been thinking, Jane (Daria's artistic best friend) is pretty damn hot. VERY damn hot in fact, for a cartoon! I think I'm cracking up... ooh, just had a thought- Jane AND Daria. Oooh- new realms of fantasy!
Ok, I've been feeling odd for a while- I mean seriously weird. It's very hard to explain, but the closest I can think of is that I don't want to live. I just think about my future- working and working until I finally die- and I just don't see the point. I've tried to make plans, I've tried to get enthusiastic about SOMETHING and I've tried to take pleasure in friends, but I can't do it. I can't find any reason to live and I feel like I have been sent here from some other dimension and I shouldn't be here- I should be somewhere I have a purpose, a purpose which doesn't exist, and never will exist, on Earth.
This is a recruiting link- the site is free to join and play, and you only need to create a username and password. I'm not forcing anyone to join- but if you want to go, and maybe just play around, then you can use this link:
If you use this addy it will give me some blood in the game. If you'd rather sign up without helping, you can use the link:
I was watching our latest school production rehearse today, and my eye fell upon the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen! She was beautiful, and the way she acted gave the impression that she was both a little shy around people, as she was getting pushed out- but she was obviously confident enough to get up on stage and sing in front of people- plus she had a damn good voice.
Hair: Long, black and to die for!