saweeeetttt's picture

where do the numbers go?

where do the numbers go
that define the things
I've come to know,
or not so much. Is there
a highway lined with stickers,
bumpers honking
our condition, our
position, uncomfortable
our view, rapid moving
where do the numbers go that
are so vividly overdrawn with
visions and open sentences
do they line up at once,
are they ground into mush
staining footprints, grinding
teeth inside the depths of
a dream I'm floating shallowly in?
If this is all the sense of time I can
make, then all the senses I have
gained are only for today
is that enough? all the numbers

saweeeetttt's picture

;kdjfa;ksjd

With the sunroof halfway open

And the rain falling steady

With my head dripping, soaking

And my eyes tearing, swollen

Fogging windows, slowly trapping

Showing names, tracing letters

And a cigarette still burning

Through the seats, cloth-trimmed cushion

Grabbing hold, conversations

Lever pulled, chairs reclining

Staring forward, sky remaining

Mirror image, quilted blanket

Somewhere else, sunshine glowing

Somewhere far, moonlit romance

Where we go? Never knowing

Where we are? Always fading

And the engine purrs, so lonely

And the rush, intoxicating

saweeeetttt's picture

df;aksjd

penmanship fading
as the lights do escape us
spider webs in my head
catching scars that I've worn
headed down from the attic
where the memories shape us
dust covering all things
waking up, I'm reborn
and the stairway that drapes us
leading down to the center
of all spirits, all feeling
passing through, changing form
and the fear that berates us
consuming, all knowing
paints a glowing deception
endless light, golden orb

saweeeetttt's picture

ldkfn

Transitioning through these vital stages
Remembering songs, revisiting old pages
Ageless beauty, never fleeting
Deadlines lost, no need for meeting
The puzzle is completed with traces of doubt
Before, all consuming, today, drifting out
Sun casting shadows, moon swaying moods
Progress is fading, much more to allude
Minutes wasted on marginal error
Sleepless days, nights filled with terror
Thoughts of September, images of June
Always wanting the future too soon

saweeeetttt's picture

d;faj

my open ears
your shutting eyelids
colors appear
a moment is silenced

tragedy without a name
sits on it's side
it's an incomplete game
at an inconvenient time

memorizing what you share
a dimple, wrinkling cheeks
beauty not to be compared
antagonizing the weak

letting go of misplaced doubt
once filled with fallacies
waiting for truth to come out
and offer amnesty

saweeeetttt's picture

....

Five hundred and fifty days
Sand, slipping away
Clouds form anew
Overhead, different view
Taking deeper breaths
Delving into darkened depths
Straining, stretching every muscle
Wind blowing, leaves rustle
Where we were no longer exists
Energy misplaced, expelling mist
Screaming aloud, no soul can hear
forgetting a face fading with fear
An entity once made of two
Now wet and cold as morning dew
A slew of words never projected
A heart of ice intentionally rejected
Staring into space waiting for signs
Decades disintegrate, wasted time
Nothing is left, nothing resides

saweeeetttt's picture

v;kads;kd

I will waste one thousand years
one hundred lives
a million days
I'll walk along a tired road
a forest, green
a sky filled gray
We'll fall in love with all our heart
we'll dissipate
we'll reconcile
You'll never find the words to say
answers to give
numbers to dial
I'll call your name
with no response
just vibrating sound
an echo lost
But I'll still have lived
all of this time
with nothing to give
nothing to find
until I reach your longing eyes
until I reach your longing eyes

I'll be too scared to fulfill my dreams
I'll fall behind
never come clean

saweeeetttt's picture

ghsdfgdf

I step into this jungle
and struggle to find a space to breathe,
a hungry heart left to feed
that hasn't filled itself with greed
I walk between the billions of particles
of dust that cover me
and I question if I'm free
because I have never been before.
I fall down on my knees
and look above for golden seas
that wish to crash and carry me
to answers cast out to the shore.
how can faith ever exist
without new signs to come and lift
my heavy spirits out of this
rut that has claimed my heart once more?

saweeeetttt's picture

amgftath

i dug a trench
in the ground
sat inside
never was found
and looked above
at everyone
nobody's thinking
not anyone.
my brain is working
without control
I can't break free
from the depth of my soul
it's pushing and pulling
all of my weight
as my head's painting pictures
on a cluttered slate
and i'm looking above
waiting for the sun
but nobody's thinking
not anyone.

saweeeetttt's picture

gggfdgsdf

vague and bittersweet
hold on for the reprieve
and carry me away
with sights I'll never see
the words written that night
were in a secret code
I broke it with one bite
and swallowed it whole
they wallowed in my heart
as they trickled to my belly
and I dreamt of somewhere far
as the weight of truth became heavy
and then I woke in crystal skies
with blurred eyes and swollen cheeks
and I walked out of your life
with a broken heart and a body weak

saweeeetttt's picture

sleep

how can you fall asleep with this knowledge?
your drifting off, I'm on a limb
I'm reaching out for you to grab me
But something has died for you within
I stay awake and write these notes
they seem to create a melody
and then I hum myself to tears
while you are silently dreaming
and It was me that was beside you
once before, so long ago
I'd watch your eyes close like a child
so innocent, so pure, so true
my arm would wrap around your body
my head would pray to grasp your thoughts
the stars would glow so I could witness
your crimson lips, your shape so soft

saweeeetttt's picture

fdf afsd afd

I told her to walk with me
Find a street that leads to nowhere
We can forget our misery
And race the ghosts that appear
We’re heading downhill in this town
We need to find away back up
I promise that I’ll stick around
If we can fill this empty cup
The rain is taking such a toll
The soil is soaked enough to sprout
The greenest grass our eyes could see
The most beautiful flowers our fingers can count
If she just takes this walk with me
Maybe we’ll float into the sky
And we can finally be free
From all the darkness that’s outside

saweeeetttt's picture

hmm

Like a flower
Every petal is wilted
Sun burnt them to hell

And like a rock
You are lifeless
And I can’t make you budge

You’re every piece of ground
The living, the dead, the found
and even when I’m without you
even when I’m nowhere around you
you’re there.

like the boat sailing sea
you are distant but glimmering
the wind will push you away

and like the bitter cold breeze
you will take my breath away
and use it for yourself

you always knew just how to reach me
how to touch, destroy, defeat me
and even when I'm so aware
even when I know you're there

saweeeetttt's picture

lfhas;

and if these sighs could tell a story
a waterfall would pour before me

from my mouth down to my feet
you're emptiness projects deceit

i'm so torn up but clean of wounds
the sky now hosts a starless gloom

it used to be a mystic vision
you've cast a spell with such precision

I run with rapid, fleeting desire
praying to mask my past and rewire

my brain is a train that does not have brakes
it speeds through towns, over streams and lakes

the places we walked and danced and swam
now only exist in the palm of my hand

once home to your heart now only a map

saweeeetttt's picture

dfasdf

release of dopamine
you are the pill
shocks of electricity
the wildest thrill
the loudest noise
so sharp and shrill
come home with me?
I know you will
we'll roll around
in sheets of heat
I'll stand my ground
you'll lift my feet
floating along
i'll make you mine
I'm dying to see you
so out of line
so effervescent
so lost direction
so here with me
so close to perfection
we'll come back down
from the sun in the sky
and while dripping sweat
we'll both collide
as one, we are
the flowing tide
a drug so strong
we burst inside

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