sometimes caring means allowing people to live their lives the way they want
I am an idiot.
I've never been able to talk about this with anyone before, mostly because I'm sure nobody would appreciate it as much as I do.
Okay, so I've been in a weird cooking mood lately. I think its cause I have a crush on a guy. So last night I made lentil stew which was amazing except for the fact that I put WAY too much red pepper flakes in an my dad isn't big on spicy things so he didn't like it as much as I did.
So in my AP Govt class we had to write a bill over the course of the semester and now we're presenting them. Somebody and their partner (for the project) wrote a bill on gay marriage but they haven't presented yet and I'm totally anxious to hear what they say and whether they're pro or anti-.
I have been eating lunch with a friend and her gang of sophomores since the beginning of the school year and unfortunately I have developed a crush on one of the girls. This girl is the daughter of one of my teachers and the sister of a bisexual girl who I was attracted to.
Yay, we get three days off, I'm so excited. My life in the past couple weeks has changed so much, my ex contacted me. We go to basically the same school and we share a friend but we've ignored each other for the past 8 months or so. Suddenly she told my friend that she wanted to try to be friends and we started emailing over winter break.
So, I haven't been on I a month or so I guess. I'm really excited because I know that I'm actually going to the prom now. I got my ticket today and I already have my dress and...yay! I have two different groups of friends. The girls and the guys. The girls are all going to the prom and are dressing me, doing my hair and make up the before going out to dinner and all that. None of the guys are going except maybe the guy who I have a crush on. Unfortunately he's about 2 years older than me and he has a girlfriend. We have a really weird relationship. Its almost like we're dating but we aren't. Its amazing, I've known him for a little over a week and I trust him. I've never trusted anyone in that little time.
I am so exhausted. The past weekend was totally not a weekend since we had our Chico Jamboree on Saturday and then I had to work with my olympic group from 6 until 9ish on Sunday and then today was olympics so I got up at 5:15 so I could work with my group before we started at 9 am. Tomorrow school starts and I see it as a refreshing break. I must be insane.
My life is weird right now. I'm really happy since I'm playing hockey and school's about to start and my life is pretty good right now but I'm starting to get exhausted like I did when I was depressed. I guess its probably a side affect from coming off my meds but it makes life slightly more difficult. Also, it feels like my friend are blowing me off even though I'm not exactly the easiest person to hang around with lately. I wonder if this phenomenon will get better or worse when school starts. Hmm.
I finally got to play again yesterday after being gone with my abscess all last week. It was really hot yesterday like it has been all of last week but I went the the field anyway and I got to suit up and play goalie and Perry was there. It was so much fun! On my way home, I met up with this random guy at a stoplight and he said that his ex was on the field hockey team a couple years ago. I asked who, and it was PERRY! He went all the way to the front of my house with me. Pretty cool!
I can't believe that I've been stuck at home all week! Seriously. I haven't actually worn clothes since Monday. I haven't been allowed to go swimming since sunday. I haven't done anything other than a bath and watch tv since tuesday. Oh my god I think my brain is melting! An another thing. I haven't been able to go to hockey practice since last thursday and I haven't been able to excercise since last friday.
So my GSA had a party thing because school's gonna be over pretty soon and a girl who was in the club last year came and said hi and stuff. I was talking to her after and said that my mom would never let me get my eyebrow pierced. She told me that she had been emancipated and now lives with her girlfriend. I've heard of emancipation happening but I've been so sheltered and ... Yeah. Wow. I'm really sad that sometimes choice just end at that. I really wish I could do something about it. I want to save everybody from all this crap but I know I can't and I don't know how to help. I want to understand it all but I can't.
Hey, I haven't been on here for at least a year so I thought I'd check back in. Y'know what I've noticed? All of my school guy friends are bi and at group all the girls there (except one) were bi. Weird! My parents have only known about my boyfriends, I've never told them about me dating Meta but I guess someday I'll have to...course, they don't know about Will yet. Mom thinks I want to go out with Kevin.
I haven't been on for awhile so those people who needed help, I'm sorry for brushing you off and whining about stupid stuff but my mother is driving me crazy. I brought up Camp Ten Trees in front of my mom's boyfriend and so he asked my mom what it was about. Anyway, she told him it was a place for people who want to be something other than straight and I almost punched her. ARGH!!! I can't believ