I am reposting my response in the "Pride" forum, because I think it is a very important point.
The point is awareness. And black pride certainly did not trigger white supremacists, rather white supremacists triggered the need for a community. Hell, before there was "black pride," before black people could even organize there was SLAVERY. How do you cope with living in a society where you don't have the same rights as others? You band together. It is very important for each disadvantaged minority group to know their history, to teach it to the wider community, to recall the injustices that have targeted at them, to encourage the youth, and to stand strong together.
So, yes my mother falls into that category terribly, but not only parents, but friends end up falling into it and it freaking drives me crazy...
Conversation from Dinner at Pride last weekend:
So my friend, who obviously isn't that close to me or he wouldn't have been saying this, was talking on about how his parents had asked him if he were gay after he told them basically everyone he hangs out with is gay, and he of course denied this to them, but he was telling me about this and mentioned that the parents knew I was a lesbian.
Well the Marriage Debate is cascading all over the news again, and I've been throwing myself into the chaos of its 2006 incarnation.
Maybe I'm a little late to this petition, but I found http://www.millionformarriage.org today (I think it is put out by the HRC). I would highly recommend that any of you, if you have a vested interest in Gay Marriage, sign this petition.
I dated a guy and it made my parents decide I'm not gay, I never was gay, and I'm admitting that's the case.
But the fact is, I am a lesbian, was a lesbian, and am not saying anything on the contrary.
I've kept quiet about this for the most part to my parents, because I figure we'll just fight and it will be the same fight as before, and it won't go anywhere. And it's hard to find girls in this town, so I guess I figured they'll think what they'll think, but one day the'll see that I am indeed this lesbian they thought I'd ceased to be. Or in their case, probably thought I'd ceased "thinking" I was. Whatever...
My mother said the most darling thing the other day:
My 16 year old sister has been acting up with school, drugs, etc. And the day after being busted [again] by my parents, she was out with their car "at a movie" all night. When I asked my mother why this was going on she responded that my sister "hadn't done anything wrong," "she's a person," and that she "didn't need to be punished."
The reason I found this curious was that her immediate reaction to my coming out to her was to tell me she was "very concerned" about me, and to put me in counceling, and to tell me I'm not gay and imply I'd realize that if I just worked on it.
I realized a few months ago after being in close quarters with a friend and her mother as they battled out whether or not gay people were going to hell, that even though I'm not Catholic as they are, I found myself crazily religiously upset about being gay for several hours afterwards.
This is a pattern though.
Of being noticeably affected by the adverse manifestos people have and tell me about regarding sexual orientation.
I don't know how many people on this site also go to the Young Gay America site, I got this in my e-mail, and I think it's a really good idea, and I know a lot of people might be interested in a queer youth magazine by them, so I thought I'd most the news release on Oasis. I think a part of this news release that might be REALLY appealing to some people is that it says they will mail out the magazine in nondescript envelopes so people who are in the closet can subscribe with minimal worries. I hope it's oasis-appropriate to post this here?
Since I've come out to a lot more people, I've been generally avoiding spending much time with those people - relatives, friends - who I'm not out to, mainly the ones I'm not out to, because I think they won't be the must supportive people.
In July I spent two days with close family friends who don't know for this reason. They're huge homophobes.
And then the last three days I spent with a bunch of relatives who don't know, and who don't seem exactly gay friendly.
This might sound ridiculous...
I love the "Friends" lesbian couple of Carol and Susan. I think it's the greatest. I watch "Friends" for it. Seriously. I think Carol and Susan are an adorable beautiful couple. And I felt like sharing that with all of you.
They make me happy.
I've adopted a sibling. And all of my big sister protectiveness that I've ever felt fo the siblings I already had is RAGING.
This is the most heart breaking thing ever.
You know that typical response of parents when their child comes out: when they say they would prefer their child were not gay, because they think their child's life would be easier that way?
I can finally kind of see where people get that...
After the second student government meeting, the student government actually / finaly took a stance against the state's proposed anti gay marriage amendment to the state's constitution. This won't really affect the high likelyhood that the amendment will pass, but it makes me feel so much better about the members of the student government. Seriously, I left the last meeting feeling so upset, but I feel so much better about everything after this meeting. It's awesome! Local political action is awesome: GET INVOLVED EVERYONE!
Why is it that when I'm
antisocial in the morning
I'm "being mean" to my mother
if I ask
My brother's staying the night I'm
"having a fit"
But you find it perfectly
when you hear my sister just put
makeup on 2 guys to say
"Well they must not be real men then"
There is such the double standard.
And it's not even a double
standard, it's so obscurred.
How can you feel you have the
Tonight my little sister did make up for two of my guy friends who were dressing in drag. When we got back to our house, my sister announced something about it to my parents and younger sister. Later my younger sister told us that my dad said, "they aren't real men if they're dressing up as women"
To which my younger sister questioned "aren't they more comfortable with being men if they're dressing up as women?"
I came out to my mother January 2002. She freaked out, told me I didn't know what I was talking about and put me in counseling. After the fight we had when I quit going to counseling, w the subject of my sexuality did not come up again until now.
July 2004. And two and a half years later, I'm pleased to tell you (actually not so pleased), that my mother, has not changed in the slightest.