Guess I should say welcome to Oasis. Didn't know I'd meet you here. Read your first journal and was thinkin 'd***, that sounds a lot like...' well, you. ;) Then I read the next one. Look, lil girl, no one blames you for senior year. Not they if have any sense. No one person has the blame even though a good deal should be on me. It wasn't you, darlin. I just didn't know how to handle everything. Not to make excuses though. I was confused about what we were. I mean, things were difficult, us going to different colleges, but I could have tried to make us work. I guess I just wasn't ready. Now I realize what a jerk I was, and I'm sorry.
Le and I had been doin the "no strings" thing, and at the time that was cool especially with all the drama. Over the winter break a lot happened, even though we didn't see each other much. She told me that she was in love with me. That felt so wonderful. I had wanted to tell her in person, but then it didn't matter as long as she knew. Her parents were goin to go on a trip, and we were goin to spend that weekend together. Her uncle died though, so we texted and talked on the phone. It was so great to see her when we got back too MT. Besides going to classes, we pretty much spent the whole week together. I'm a little slow, but I did ask her out officially. On Jan. 23 I asked her, and she said yes. YAY! Then I gave her this cute white gold bellybutton ring that has a little dangling heart on it. Right now everything is simply wonderful. At least for me it is.
Managed to make it through the first semester with good grades. YAY! Now I have to go a month without
really seeing my not-quite-girlfriend Le. WAA!! I knew it was coming, but it's still gonna be kinda hard. She
lives less than 20 minutes away, but I can't go over there after her family, which is fervently religious,
finally figured out that I am gay. <--(taboo) So now I have to spend Christmas and New Year's with family.
This might take quite a while. I've got quite a lot to tell. So I'm warning anyone who's reading this now. There's quite a lot of drama in this still unfinished tale.
Everything started during high school. Before then, I had already realized that I was gay. While I didn't flaunt it, I also didn't really hide either. I wore baggy clothes, just like most of my guy friends did. I suppose I was able to pass as straight because I hung out with girls mostly. That all worked until 10th grade.