jesus christ, i really suck at online journals lol havent written in this in like a year, and then suddenly, BAM i feel like writing!
so currently working on geometry hw...i hate math...but anyway, so tommorow i get to skip school to go see our boys and girls bball teams compete in state! exciting stuff, especially since i wont get in trouble for "skipping school.." cant really say ur skipping when its a school funded event can i?haha...but ya so im pretty excited...although im a bit apprehensive about some parts...but hey my problem...besides, if i got into it i would make myself sound like a HUGE selfpitying crybaby, which i really don't feel like being, haha...life goes on, lifes a bitch get a helmet, c'est la vie!!!
hey people! its been awhile, sorry, ive been busy w/ stuff...haha newayz, felt i ought to say hi just to let everyone know that i'm still alive, although i dont think anyone noticed i left, haha o well, life goes on right??? anyways, so my life: still in the closet at home, out to a few friends, and that sums it up! although i keep dropping hints that i'm not straight, so i think mom and dad are finally catching on, eh who knows...well anways, so our boys and girls basketball teams are both going to state and since they're playing during the week, if we want to we can skip school to go see them as long as we take provided transportation, which also includes a trip to a supermall, so its pretty sweet!!
shit....shit shit...ok, so im not out to anyone besides my closest friends
right? i was just on myspace and i was fooling around with this bulletin
and of course it claims to "calculate whether your crush likes u or not..."
so me being the complete idiot i am type in my name (FULL goddamit!) and then
my crushes name (FULL TOO GODDAMMIT!!!) and then i find out that it
sent it to his inbox!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! what the hell am i going to doO!!???
yup, so like many of you out there, i went to www.godhatesfags.com...i read
through the stuff, entered into the main site....(and i understand if many of you start
yelling at me)i smiled! why? not because i agree with them, far from it, not
because i thought they had the right idea...thats laughable...but because it
really showed me just how stupid and misled people can be. i dont hate them...
so my friend isnt talking to me...ill IM her, :x...at lunch she goes and sits
with her boyfriend, buuuuut i guess thats to be expected, so im not really
gonna hold her to that...thing is its quite strange...normally she would at
least say hi on aim...nuthin now so i just close the window and think "f u"...and here
i was thinkin i was starting to feel better...haha wow im laughable...i mean
*sigh* sorry guys, heres another pointless entry, but i have to get it out of
my system...luckily its a happy thought for the most part for once hehe....
so i have this crush on a girl who ill call L....i dont know her very well,
but we played softball together and we have some mutual friends....i see her
every day at school in the halls....we never talk though...why? dont know each
other very well and im worried i might say something stupid or just clam up...
so i was listening to this contest last night, and one of the questions was
"what celebrity(or something like that) has admitted to being attracted to girls?"
one woman says at random "kelly clarkson!" and she was right!!!!! it may be old
news but its brand new to me!! so i was pretty shocked yet so happy you wouldnt
believe it! hehe.... anyone else heard of this?
hey everyone! haha i just got back from ireland and london! hella fun! some ppl
from london teased us cuz we were american but they werent serious (i hope) so
its all good!hehe...but i had the best time! hehe...well just wanted to say something
so ill go now, bye!
grrr....i just heard about the bombings in london...dammit, y cant goddam
terrorists just die???!!! theyre like annoying little mosquitos who
cant seem to die! and wats worse is that people are dying because of
theyre existence! its gotten to the point for me where when ever i hear
of some terrorist attack, i just want to go and strangle them!! i dont
want anyone to die, and i know alot of you dont either...especially people
you know, ever since i came out to my friends(or came out to one
and then the other two found out via my goddam online journal)
ive felt kinda like...well...i dont know, they used to ask me all
the time who i liked, and of course, i would always say no one because
at the time i wasnt sure who i liked and i sure as hell not attracted
to any guys...but now... they never say a word on
the subject...probably afraid its going to b them...
hey, i just figured out that i have an inbox!! and that people wrote
to me! hehe sorry everyone who has sent me something and then never got a reply...
i just figured it out, haha im not very smart when it comes to
computers...hehe, well just wanted to let u know i now know that i have
an inbox and will gladly accept and respond to any letters...wow
i sound like a dork, hehe...well g2g bye.
if this has happened to anyone else, please let me know, if not, then i am weird
or something, or not...anyways, heres my question/problem...after you have
finally accepted your orientation, has anyone else here experienced having
multiple crushes? like i mean they all kinda come one right after the other,
but you dont stop crushing on one person, you end up crushing on two, then three
then maybe four! i know that sounds weird, but that is whats currently happening
i remember there being a post on here awhile ago about a speaker who came to
someones school and was making sexist comments, and was wondering who the speaker
was because a guys comin to our school on monday to tell us the difference
between boys and girls, and i was tryin to figure out if its the same guy...
i think the guys name is like dan manning or something...im probably thinking
of something totally different, but if u have ne idea what im talking about
haha...i really am stupid...shit...guess what? i got angry this passed
weekend after i saw a therapist person and basically like 1/3 of my story
came out...not much considering how much there really is, but it was enough
to release all of my anger that has built up over the years...so who do i
take it out on??? my two close friends! its either the built up anger
exploded, or i just was really mad because i relized they should probably