I decide to getback into the dating field since I no longer feel like being single. so I go to a local concert and find a few girls I find interesting, but what happens is I find out they are all gay. Ok, i check my losses and just focus on the awesome music. Then Im out running errands and there I have no luck. this has continued where girls I think are gay/bi are not, and I miss all the ones who are, its so bad my best guyfriend can spot them first.
Since my mother has all but disowned me I have been spending alot more time w/ my 2 best friends who happen to be gay and dating each other. I luv them both dearly and I don't think I would be as sane as I am w/out them, but constantly seeing them together is making me a lil'jealous. I mean I'm singler and have been for quite somtime. I also came off of 2 bad relationships. So I am stuck between a rock and a hardplace by wanting to spend time w/ them since they are like my family, and ignoringthem because of my feelings of lonliness and jealousy.
man o man. this mom thing isn't getting any better. she has banished me from watching anything slightly pertaining to gays or involving pretty women, which then is basically everything. I'm going to and all girls school, so now she doesn't want me to go, becuz she thinks im going just for that reason. she has baically made me into a primal sexual being as if i now have no other means to do,want,say,
I didn't think that coming out to my mother would feel this lousy. I was open about my sexuality in school, evrywhere, except my family. I am such a self-confident person but my mother was too conservative to be that way at home. But today, she looked at me and ask me that question, I couldn't lie I just couldn't. Then she said the most ridiculous and hurtful word; "why?" like as if I decided to be this way to piss her off.