I wanted to be frens,
U wanted to get into my pants,
Never seen your hands,
But u were my man
Things started cold,
Topics gotten old,
U saw my pic,
Suddenly I’m gold
i thought i got past this stage but.....
well, i guess when you get a little depressed, you start thinking.......
why do i have to be gay?? sigh.......
being gay limits my dating pool (at press time, non-existant)
being gay makes me wonder all the time about others
being gay means my feelings are unrequited 99% of the time
the 1% when i'm lucky enough falls through cause both assumes the other is straight
sigh.............i guess this is better than a full fledged depression.
i hate my life. i have a virtually inexistant gay life, no gay frens, and obviously have no way to channel my gayness. and i hate the fact i'm stuck where i am doing what i am.
today i went browsing at the mall and found that there isn't anybody that i could ask to go shopping with me. sometimes i feel so alone, with all these desires to do things others don't.
u know how you've lived ur life straight and lead everyone u know to believe so, then one day u realize how the hell do you explain these to your closest frens whom you've lied to constantly..........and also to those ppl you've dated......sigh.........
if you tell them you're gay, then wat about all the other girls you've dated.......you can't tell them it's part of an act........that would be so mean........sigh......
Today started as a great day. Watched Lilo&Stitch on DVD and enjoyed it as much as the first time.
Then, I logged on to hotmail but damn.......somehow I couldn't. In the end, I had to get in through the "forgot my password" link which required me to change my password.
initially, I thought it's just hotmail gona a little crazy. But come to think of it, I couldn't enter becoz my password was incorrect. Strangely, i didn't change it!! the only explanation would be someone answered my secret question, changed the password and logged in to me account.
it's funny, a year or to ago, i had accepted myself for who i am and was ready to embrace gay life.
now, all i wanna do i lock myself in the closet and throw away the key........
it all started with this guy who developed an "interest" in me.......and he started digging about. and he certainly had no problem telling ppl on his suspicion on my sexuality even though he has no prove whatsoever other than i'm friends wif one rather effeminate guy.....come on, that's discrimination. at the same time, he conveniently forgot to mention that he was queer himself.
here i am having this sore throat...............went shopping today.....umm, i really need a pair of jeans...can't find a watch i like.......and i'm still coughing from i dunno what
maybe i should turn in early, afterall i promised to have breakfast wif some frens.....then again, when have i ever been on time, lol.
anyway, dun trust mp3 editing programmes. they almost never work....
.........how i hate viruses.....
well it's like 4am and i can't sleep............. maybe a little too excited over........i dunno what it is though..sigh......if i dun sleep soon i'll never make it to work tomorrow.........
let's see, i get home around 11pm and my sis tells me some idiot rammed her car and sped off........rotten luck
watched this movie "hero", an asian movie, nominated for foreign film for golden globes......... great fighting scenes....good use of colour filters......otherwise, long winded.