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cough drops

more specifically, ricola honey lemon with echinacea.


also, i think i may be developing bronchitis.


rehearsal tonight. show tomorrow.


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oh dear god.

still coughing.


dress rehearsal tomorrow.

still. coughing.

phineas and ferb is funny.

cutie high-schooler is going to be the death of me in that freaking costume. perfect.perfect.perfect.legs. oh. my. god.


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i keep having dreams about kissing girls. nothing more than that. they're always these really sweet, chaste kisses that don't lead to anything else, but still, it's kinda weird to be having the same 'theme' so to speak for two nights in a row.

the first one, i knew the girl, i've known her for a long time, and i've always been kinda halfway in love with her.

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not quite never spoken

i dreamt you kissed me
with the sunlight streaming
through the broken battered
windows of a
basement staircase.
you smiled and
said i tasted like
the way a windchime
your arms around my shoulders
paint flecks like snowflakes
falling through your
haloed hair.
i woke with my hands
still on your waist
and the taste of you
still on my lips.

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summation is fun!

1. (insert loooooooong story about me and cutie high-schooler having an awesome time today, having conversations, getting lunch, being cool) *SQUEE!!*

2. I still have makeup on my face, even after getting some cold cream.

3. I'm pretty much hooked on being an actor for my director for like...ever. :D Plus, 'Mom-mode' is a wonderful fuzzy feeling for someone who can't remember what that feels like...

4. I just went 1...2...3...5...

5. Show's in a weeeeeeeeek!

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a.) i love my director even more now.

b.) definitely know what i'm doing christmas day (moviemoviemovie)

c.) i may be getting sick. not good.

d.) decided against a tattoo, bought some sweet-ass white chucks instead.


also, found out i was accepted today aaaaaaaand i get 4,000 in merit scholarships alone.

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i'm being rebellious and getting a tattoo tomorrow, but i don't want my parents to see it. suggestions?

-I go barefoot a lot.

-I wear shorts in the summer, and boxers when I sleep.

-I don't wear low-cut shirts or anything like that.

-No places that could possibly sag or stretch.

BTeeDubs, it's lettering, it's going to say "Troubadour" in a calligraphy font.


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I'm quitting my job tomorrow.

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you know the story.

so i'll just flail for a minute, then be on my way.




also, my boss is a grade-A idiot.


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FUCK! just...just....FUCK!

ok, so...I was at rehearsal tonight, and at the end of the show, cutie high-schooler plays the nurse, who falls in love with dracula. and she has a line at the end of the play where she says something like, "Ok, but no neck nibbling." And I looked at her neck...and at first my brain was like

and then it was like

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1. Cutie high-schooler is cute. And she thinks I'm funny. And she laughs at my jokes. And we can have cute conversations. And she doesn't talk to me like she's tolerating me. *flails*

2. Drama at play rehearsal. Bad drama. Not good drama. Immature high-school girl drama. I almost had to smack down some kids, but I refrained. Ugh.

3. I have to be at work tomorrow at 7:15. And I'm working till 12. Urrrghhhhh....and I have rehearsal at 5:30 till 8:30. *passes out*

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i scribbled 'i love you' into the windex smear on the glass door and as it evaporated into the air like a window to my soul, i wondered if it were still true.
if i drew hearts in the sand, would the waves still come to wash it away, permanent as a drunken promise. would i still hear you smile into the crook of my shoulder,
would i still see your hands dip into my pockets like we were digging for treasure behind the rainbow you swore came up in the middle of a star-filled night.

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where we shine.

i cannot describe the happiness i would feel if someone could get me the audio or the video of andrea gibson performing the poem "where we shine."

i might cry from happiness.

you think i'm kidding.

i'm not.


in other news, cutie high-schooler is cute. (i keep putting the hyphen in the wrong place...weird.) and she thinks i'm funny.

i think.

work is tiring, but ok.

the end.

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free hugs.

just made my own Free Hugs t-shirt.


i is happy.

also, my work schedule is perfectly agreeable and does not conflict.


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swet. treat. to. eat.

so, high-schooler has a boyfriend. obviously, this makes little impression on me considering the impossibility of this attraction in the first place, but still.

my soul died a little.

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