Icarus's picture


defending christianity is like defending your creepy, but good-hearted uncle who has a penchant for screaming epithets at minorities and leering at women. you know deep down somewhere he's a good person, you're just unsure where it is anymore.

anyway, work and rehearsal tomorrow. i really should be memorizing right now, but can't bring myself to.

Icarus's picture

epic flail.

yes, epic flail.

so, first real day of training today. on my feet for almost eight hours straight. my ankles, hips, knees, and back are KILLING ME.

i'm such a wimp.

watching some documentary about the kennedys and how they most likely had a curse on them. i don't believe in some sort of deity or divine intervention, but i really have to agree. old joe must've really fucked up somewhere to have that many people be affected by some sort of tragedy.

Icarus's picture

ok so...

remember that job interview i talked about on thursday?

welllll....the lady called me today and offered me the job!

i start training on monday. kinda throws my weekend plans into a bind, but hell, i have a jobbbbb!!!

soooo happy. :D

Icarus's picture

coming out to sigur ros. love it.

I, with everyone else in the world I suppose, sometimes imagine what life would be like if things had turned out differently. What would have happened if my mother hadn't pulled me out of public school to homeschool? What would have happened if she hadn't been diagnosed with a rare, terminal illness? What if...What if...A million questions always running through my mind all the time. The thing is, I know what would have happened.

I would still be a Christian.

I would still be close-minded.

I would most definitely still be a bitch.

I would have never realized that I was gay.

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homosexuality to argue atheism? hmmmm....

also, just realized some of the kids in my cast were toddlers when 9/11 happened.

i feel OLD.

Also, to my former English teacher: SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. SERIOUSLY. No one cares about your health problems or how you're having to miss ALLLLL this stuff because you're sick all the goddamn time. Stop complaining in your fb comments to other people and bringing everyone down. YOU'RE WORSE THAN DEBBIE DOWNER. GOD!

Icarus's picture


i fold myself
into the
cracks and confines
of the
of last year.
into my hands
as little
river stones
and i
that one
might be
a falling star
so i might
a wayward
i fold myself
into the spaces
breaths and
sleeping in the rhythm
of the sky's
my heart catches
with the world itself
and i
laugh with
a mother's hands.

Icarus's picture


watching the new episode of glee.

i will never look at jane lynch the same way again. never knew she had it in her to play the spawn of satan. dear lord, i'm only halfway through the episode too.


long day today. interview for a job (FINALLY!) at 2, helping with one-acts till five-thirty, rehearsal from 6:30 till eight.

oh well...better than being bored.

Icarus's picture



you get to see my ugly mug and read my (revised) coming out story.

it's a great website toooooo....

Icarus's picture

more than one sentence....maybe

I know for a goddamn fact beyond a shadow of a doubt that she's straight as an arrow, but that doesn't stop my heart from breaking when i think about how good we'd be together.

Icarus's picture


i'm on a music kick and i need bands! help a kid out?

Icarus's picture






that is all.

Icarus's picture

and don't tell me what to do, don't tell me what to say...

First Wives Club. *flails*

one of my favorite movies ever. like, i can pretty much recite the dialogue in that movie, and i mean, bette midler, goldie hawn, diane keaton? lovely.

anywho, what i was going to write about was, this week's episode of glee. does anyone but me feel like it was one of those weird transition episodes where everyone else is off filming so they were like, "Oh shit, we need something here. Call Cheno, she's not working is she?" That isn't to say that i didn't adore seeing her working (and singing!) again, but i mean, it wasn't the best i've ever seen.

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dracula, baby.

i'm a pervert.



so i may have a crush on a 14-year-old.

that's a five-year age difference for those of you who failed elementary school.

or those who don't know i'm 19. i apologize for the snark.


she's adorable. she seems really mature. she's cute. dammmmmmmit.

usually i go for the older girls, so this is a really odd step for me. Also, by law she's going to be straight and i'm going to feel even more like a creeper.

she's also the daughter of the director, which REALLy makes me feel like a creeper.


Icarus's picture



1.) I am unemployable.

2.) I found Bullets and Windchimes. Still can't find Swarm. Geh.

the end.

Icarus's picture



i just want a goddamn day out with you. is that so much to ask? and i mean...i know it's not your fault. in all honesty, your mother just seems to have it out for me. it's a DAY trip to the mountains. two hours away at most. is that so hard? i spent a WHOLE DAY driving through roads i've never even seen to pick up YOUR SON to go see YOUR SON and waste MY GAS and MY TIME. no...not waste. it wasn't a wasted weekend.

but still....i just want to go on trips with my friends like a normal human being. but i can't. because she won't let me.

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