I haven't said anything on here for months and months (and the last thing was really depressed).
Recently, as I'm become less depressed and such, I've come to fancy myself an amateur teen philosopher. So, read my first coherent and cute(sy) work on how the debate about which rules more, religion or science, is, quite honestly, STUPID! Keep in mind, it's not meant to be serious; it's more of a debate starter, and please don't hate me.
God, my depression is screwing up my life. I never had very good social skill to begin with. I feel like crying all the time now, and when I was younger, I couldn't control it, but now I've learned to, so people don't know what's really going on, even thought I can't see how they can't. I'm always on the edge of breaking down, and that's not a very friendly state. It's starting to cost me friendships, and it may have cost me my girlfriend, though I think she had other issues.
How lovely, a family. Dressed up, driving home.
And one, in the back, hysterical, silent.
For the woman who sits in front of her is not her mother.
It's okay if it sucks, please honestly tell me what you think.
There's this guy I have a crush on at school. People ask if we are dating. While we were waiting for the late bus, I asked him if I could "fall asleep on him" because I was tired. He said, "Yeah, sure." I ended up with my head on his lap until the bus came. It didn't seem uncomfortable, and he even said he liked my negativity. Does he really like me? Is he leading me to believe he likes me?
So my friend, who used me over the summer to experiment on and forgot to tell me that she decided she didn't like girls, is now trying to be friends with me. And I think she likes the guy that I have a huge crush on. And I think he may like me, but also may like her. And so I am depressed. How do you tell if someone likes you?
I want to dress up a Jesus for Halloween. Hilarious and offensive? Or just stupid?
The next episode in the soap opera of my life:
The girl who I kissed at my sleepover, who told me she wanted to be my girlfriend, then told me she wasn't sure, then told me she just wanted to be friends, then stopped talking to me and said she needed her space, finally IMed me and said something approaching honesty and directness. She told me that what she did was a mistake, and that I'm a negative person and depressing to be around and sarcastic (which to her is not a compliment?).
Yes, I really do hate her. And I think it's really screwing me up. I can't even be honest with her; she'll punish me if I say anything she doesn't want to hear. Really, if I "hurt" her (emotionally), she'll yell and make me apologize, even if it was true. And if I don't she'sll kick me out of the house. My dad will have to pick me up, and eventually he'll make me apologize and make up. I do it for him.
I finally confronted the girl who was being confusing and sending mixed messages. She told me that she sees me as just a friend, and it just took her a while to realize it. But then then why would she make out with me at a sleepover, and tell me she wanted to be my girlfirend? And then on the bus today, there was no room, so she jokingly said, "You can sit on my lap." Is she trying to flirt with me?
When I was at a sleepover I kissed one of my best friends (a girl). Later, we agreed to try going out. We would hang out, but every time I tried to touch her, she would pull away. When I asked her if she just wanted to be friends, she couldn't tell me yes or no. So finally I said we should just be friends, and she agreed, saying that she wasn't ready for a serious relationship. (I don't want a "serious" relationship either.) Now she's sending me mixed signals, holding my hand, but only sometimes.
So my friend and her cousin were on vacation and they saw this guy who was ranting about all the people God hates. He had this huge sign which listed all the people who were going to hell, including, non-believers in Christ, rebelious women, and gays and lesbians. And then he kept reading passages from the bible that "proved his point". One thing I've learned about the Bible is that it contradicts itself and says what you want it to.