So. I've been feeling really dumpy as of late. I hate it. Hate it hate it hate it. I've tried distracting myself, that didn't work. So I tried getting it out through venting and drawing, and that didn't work. Going crazy and crying for fifteen minutes didn't help either. So I'm going to write a journal about all of the happy things in my life.
Okay, so the combination of hormones and logic and stupid have made me crazy. =P
So you know the reason I can't get a boyfriend? It's not because I'm incapable, it's because I feel like I'm on a completely different plane than most of the guys my age. It's kind of... Irritating. All of the cute I know are either straight , immature, out of my league, enamored with someone across the country, or 23. Ahaha. It's not fair.
Haha, I've never been so busy before. (Mostly because I spent most of my life being a lazy arse. But shh.)
That trans-meeting thing I go to, it's nice and all, but ugh, it likes, smashes all of the things I don't have in my face. (Or, rather, it smashes the fact that I still haven't gotten surgery yet in my face.)
I really just CAN'T deal with this anymore.
I don't know what to do.
Haha, my back hurts because A, I slept funny, and B, I decided it'd be a good idea to help move furniture on an empty stomach, which it is not. :P
So apparently this kid who I've never met thinks I'm cute, and now everyone thinks we should go out or something. |D
I figure I might as well if it comes up again because he's friends with my friend and she thinks we'd be cute together so he can't be -that- bad. :P
Hello everyone. =)
Okay, you know that guy who I spent months ranting about? I'm over him now. Well, that was a lie, not completely over him. I mean, I still think about him maybe a wee bet more than I should and if for some strange reason he asked me out there's no way I'd turn him down ever at all. But I'm not spending nearly as large of a percentage of time pining over him. In fact, I do very little pining, and that's the important part. =P
Well, in my whole half-hearted attempt to get over this kid who ever-so-obviously isn't interested, I started considering some things... As in, what kind of person I'd date.
And I've been thinking about it...
I feel like spewing out some lighthearted secrets/rants/whatevers because I can.
Okay, so, I complain about my cat being whiny and annoying, but I secretly condition her to meow a lot, and be a pest because I think it's cute. :P
I got an e-mail from the boy I like (we send e-mails back and fourth all of the time.) and I haven't read it yet because I like having an unread e-mail from him in my inbox... XD
I used to think it was so dumb that boys pick on people they like for attention but I kind of caught myself doing it. Nice going Ash.
I can't sleep because I slept all day to get away from people. >_>;;;
Everyone wanted to come over today but I didn't really want to be around people so I made like a narcoleptic although I really wasn't that tired for once. I'm so antisocial. XP But they've been coming over nearly every day since I got back from Florida. I. need. a. break.
You know, I swear I will cry tears of joy once I get my surgery scheduled. |D
Was kind of awesome.
Though way too hot.
Ugh, I'm going to Florida tomorrow. I'm going to have to work on this "serenity in a hostile environment" thing. I'm a little scared because, my temperament has changed since I started hormones. It's harder to get me upset, just because I'm in a better space now. But when I -do- get upset I feel a lot more violent than I used to. And you know, violent outburst, or breaking anything at all, would be incredibly bad.
Okay, so I've been really up-and-down recently. Sometimes I feel like "UGH" because I'm like, -right here- and the guy the guy I like likes (say that twice as fast.) lives on the other end of the country. But other times it doesn't bother me at all. It's confusing. XD;
Okay, so, I'm pretty good at dealing with things say, 95% of the time. I mean, sometimes I get a little melancholy, but not depressed or anything, and it goes away fast.
But jeez. There's only so much a person can deal with.
Just a little maybe.
I still like that boy, a lot. I know because I still get excited when I get an e-mail from him. But it seriously doesn't bug me at all that he doesn't like me back. We're friends and I like talking to him, I don't think I want any more than that anyway. |D; I have issues with like, physical contact and stuff. No real reason I can think of, I just do.