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I feel better, now that you're gone.

I dont know if thats true. It's hard to tell.
I miss him so much, and yet. Not at all.
Quick background: the boy that I've loved for these past 7 months, we're done. It doesnt seem like a false cry, either. He and I met up so that he could give me back my pants and my favorite book, and it was just. I dont know. The atmosphere, the vibes--it was all wrong. Everything felt as if it were in ruins.
What if it is really all destroyed?
Fucked forever?
That's a good thing, I suppose. But it still hurts. I still sometimes long for him. And when I cry, I long for him with my entire body.

milk-tea's picture

i am more than ready to slice and dice, asshole.

fuck you.

touch me again, and youre fucking dead.
i am not going to be just another one of your bitches, i will never tread around there ever, ever again.
you've set the hook in my mouth and youre stilling pulling on it
with every goddamn step you take
i'm trailing behind you, flailing and suffocating from oxygen.
and you cant even FUCKING HEAR ME.

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The cribs are lying cold and hopeful.
taking out each sewn up lemon from its nest,
you took out their little artichoke hearts and let the shells rest in peace.
sticky, sticky and sweet—
your tears are the quiet streams of Nazareth.
coated in sugar and prancing in blood, we have come to be forgiven.

Merci, merci,
we cry; so decent and unclothed.

doves do not like Israel,

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I never thought you'd make me perspire;

I'm essentially back with Jake.
we are "friends that like each other but dont need a title."
we both decided that dating again would be a bad idea.
this really quite honestly isnt an inch different.
we're just not public and commited.
well, i suppose theres no strain for things "going wrong" and worrying about why he didnt call me, etc etc.
so i guess its nicer.

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A dyke and a coward? Go Figure.

Sorry for the offensive use of the word "dyke."
Can't help it in this case, not meant as a slur for anyone but this one girl, I promise.

So my ex boyfriend and this fucking dyke have been messaging each other, even when me and Jake(ex boyfriend) were dating. Near the end of the relationship, though. Thank FUCKING GOD I'm not with him anymore. That would have been hell to go through.

milk-tea's picture


I'm listening to Nirvana.
I dyed my hair blue-black.
I'm going to paint my nails black tomorrow during lunch.

milk-tea's picture

crying and drinking and screaming and happiness.

drinking myself half to death, i would really have to wonder, how much is that half if a majority of my body already belongs in hell? half my body, more than half my mind, and 64% of my soul.
there is hope for me yet.
jake and i arent together any more.
its all for the best; not to sound like candide, but really.

milk-tea's picture

the world is ending today, and its losing me first.

I want the world to end and I want it to end,
I am the world, I am all I have
And I wanted me to end three hours ago.
Where is the vodka?
Oh yes, in a corner in a closet.
Where is the razor blade, the sharpest kitchen knife?
Under my pillow, next to a goodbye note.

why am i still here?
god, if anything such exists, shrugs its incapable shoulders.

milk-tea's picture

Clumsy and scared.

"Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio...a nation turns its lonely eyes to you."

I got fucked in the ass yesterday.
Well, just one thrust and I was screaming in pain and seeing dots, so I suppose that doesnt count as fucking.

milk-tea's picture

Unclean as well as dumb in the eyes.

I feel like crying myself to sleep.
Or delving so deeply into a book that I won't ever be able to come back out.
I want to write until my fingers grow stiff from the cold, until my brains are a tangled, done mess. until i cant think anymore.
I want tenderness, kisses of affection, love.

milk-tea's picture

fuck my life.

i am so, so pissed off right now.

milk-tea's picture

things that i love.

hot baths
dressing up
warm milk with sugar
being content
grey skies and rain clouds
cold weather
winter in general
sweet kisses

milk-tea's picture


"Sometimes I am afraid of losing you because I don't think I would ever find someone with all of the qualities that I love about you...ever."

he made me cum. la la la la laaaa~!!<3
it was the
most amazing

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sexual issues. cumming and going.

what the fuck?
how fucking long does it usually take??
i even gave him a blowjob, i mean, i guess it wasnt that long, but still.
i guess i need more tension/foreplay..?
this is so annoying.
and dissapointing.
any tips, plz?
what can i possibly do?

milk-tea's picture

cigarette addicted beauty from the beast.

sup oasis. school is slowly getting better. maybe. 6th period is probably the worst time period because i always fall asleep.

to start off, i would like to give a big thanks to -Ruby- for her fantastic article on the art of deepthroating. haha! i'll definitely be using those techniques, thank you!


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