"i want my bracelet back."
my best friend that had been my best friend
for almost 4 years.
all of this,
because of heroin and a boy.
she is fucking up her life so badly, and when i tell her that
she screams at me, that i don 't
it 's disgusting.
i still love her, will always love her, will always care.
remember that one boy that was into the same fetishes as me?
well, i wrote to him
just to say hey,
and he tells me, that he feels pushed away.
now, i never really exactly liked him.
everytime i would see him, i would walk away a little giddy and longing.
not for love. not for him, particularly. his body, maybe?
i dont know.
he tells me that he really likes me,
A room void of objects and material things,
it's windows are made of sea glass.
wood frames create perpendicular bisections,
constructed from cherry trees.
three fourths of the way down on each door,
and intricate flowers bloom into the face of a stranger.
the corners collect fresh drips of thoughts until they yellow stale.
Hai guys. hows the turkey fucking going?
Anyway. a lot a lot a lot of shit has been going on.
SINCE WHEN ARE DERE SO MANY BOYZ IN MI LIFE?!
Its weird. This boy has basically been begging to fuck me. No, srysly. he wants to do some hardcore shit,
Whilst many are raised on a basic rainbow of colors, I stand firmly with the belief that there exists an uncollected growth of flowing brilliance. They weave, pass, and smoke around our bodies, strike indirectly through inanimate objects. Scientifically, there most definitely are invisible shields of color, rays that would instantly blind our feeble eyes simply from its consisting existence.
they, eyes full of captured light keep
finger width hopes behind children's backs,
a mouth of musical metal-teeth.
these, among others
keep those that anticipate
tipping on eggshells and eating fingertips.
they seep blood and you taste salt,
it flutters in the form of that yellow bird, your arrogance,
consuming castles of porcelain dust.
I cant believe I did that.
I was just so wound up yesterday, and I just need to fucking talk to someone,
So I turn to ryan.
The boy that I am basically in love with.
I shouldn’t have said it.
But I did anyway
And his response was definitely negative.
I said a bunch of shit about how I want to tell him things, but I might seem creepy, etc etc.
i have been so overwhelmed, lost, and in this awfully tired daze. day after day after day... and its really taking a toll on me, physically and emotionally.
i am drained.
i wish that i could sleep for centuries, then wake up in a wonderful world where theres only sunshiiiiiine and oscar wilde and de sade. that would be very, very beautiful.
Each humans thoughts are not their own. Almost all have been thought before, and individualism decays once it is achieved; I believe that this goes likewise for revolutions that have accumulated throughout history and the span of time. Without those that move, think and see the world, the world does not change without the effect of subtle movement, spiritual or otherwise.
i am unsure of my feelings for this boy. i dont know, i dont know, i dont know anymore.
there is also much more that i would like, heartfelt, to say but some other time, when the clock is on the winning side.
today, i hung out with the most
i just want to hold his hand.
Haaaaaaay gay boys.
Hwat happened? Well.
HE ASKED ME OUT.
Well, more specifically, to lunch. But it still counts anyway.
But BY GOLLY, it was AWKWARD.
Will that pass with time?
Please say it will.
Oh. And I am also grounded until December 1st, so thence,
sneaking out will have to be in order.
the things I do for boys.
gay boy= MINE.
well. maybe. hopefully.
he came and talked to me on the train! first thing that he has ever said to me in person: "what is your ipods capacity?"
he is supercute and it was superawkward.
but no worries; it will be gone (hopefully) in ...time.
and then, we talked on facebook, and i fell IN LOVE.
i am a helpless shit that has fallen in love with a GAY boy that i havent even really talked to. nor does he know that i exist, by come.
but by GOLLY, he is beeeeeautiful.
and might be bisexual, per chance!
i missed oasis.