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tegan and sara

tegan and sara are bloody fantastic. <3
i really like abbie's girlfriend, sky. alot, for some odd reason. (not romantically.)
but shes really pretty and fun to be around and im very happy for both abbie and sky.
abbie and i got along like we've been best friends forever. which we sorta have. kind of.

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babble babble babble...

maybe possibly this saturday, i will be attending a meeting at the Center on Halsted: its a GLBTQ center for all of Chicago, and i would go the the Women's Youth, ages 13-24, for lesbian, bi, and trans females. and its not that i dont want to go to one with EVERYONE....its just that the others are aprox. 5 hours long, i think its a bit long. the Womens youth is only 2 hrs.

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i (am) still (in) love (with) you.

seeing my ex after about a whole year, i realised that i never stopped loving her. and that i also probably never stopped being IN love with her.

she has a girlfriend.

but...

none of this means that im not jealous.(of her girlfriend).

she was my first.
my first best friend, my first girlfriend, the one that gave me my first kiss.
the first that i ever, truly loved romantically,

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party: updated/ Rest in Peace, Chris.

so.
it looks like im going, and im actually really really excited
because my ex is going to be there, as well as her sister (viv).
and viv and i are pretty good friends, we go to the same high school.
but i never get to see abbie anymore, so im gonna see her tonight
im a bit nervous...
but i think it'll be a blast <3
hmmmmmm
IM EXCITED<3~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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...and she was set to burn(older poem, maybe a month or two old)

do you see him, with crimson poison running rampant
in old, collapsed veins
age and death so near, so clear, so desired.
kissing the sickly, fucking the dead—
her belly is raw and unprotected, the most intimate of lovers
never able to touch, lick, fuck
her….it
but the oldest of age and miracle?
the belly of a whale, the belly of her child

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friend's party: should i go?

hmmmm.
this is interesting. well.
i have this friend that im not exactly splendidly good friends with, but we do talk quite alot to each other and hang out during our classes that we have together.

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ah! beautiful hair makes the world go round

my hair is a wonderfully electric (dark-ish) blue <3~~~
i got it all bleached, then dyed, and its not exactly brittle, which is really fantastic.
hmmmmm.
not much else to say.
my hair is sooooo puuuuuurty<3 <3 <3

i may put up a pic when im ready to become a myspace whore.
which is, most likely, never.
sorry, ladies and gentlemen.

i MUST draw the line somewhere.

love

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Common Monster

there are no honest pleasure boxes in life.
dirty desire, possibly
but true and pure, honest-to-God desire?
sir, no such thing exists.

[ladies and gentlemen: please, take a step back.]

i say, i claim; that no such
purity
may orbit around a life
{mine}
so harsh
void of white-hot explosions of clarity or certainty--
in it's place a common monster has taken it's toll.

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...boys.(are grossrepulsiveandbloodydull)

i hate them.
i really, really do.
bloody fucking hell.

so, there are about 5 boys that want to get in my pants.
and really, honestly?
they repulse me, quite frankly.

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poem, untitled: tribute to my dearest D.M. <3

love is not as it seems to be
love is not love, it disentegrates
into lust
and
the empowerment of want
has been given a name.

even the light upon pale, transluent liquid
intakes unsteady breaths
upon sharp curves, a structure of milk-white ebony
daring to be bruised,
teasing in its fraility.

delicacy
has created a civilization
known only to those who writhe

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i want to dissapear

i dont know why i ever thought that mike and i could be steady friends again. hes arrogant, and tries to act like hes already done everything im going through. and i know thats complete and utter bullshit.
what?
does stepping on me like this make you feel better, mike?
FUCK YOU.
fuck you for calling me unstable, fuck you for being the bastard you are.

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jesus FUCKING CHRIST

great. just great.
so, guess who started to talk to me on chat last night?
yep. mike. the man i attempted to break my relationship with, and it worked, until last night.
but, do you know why he started talking to me?
because he was DRUNK.
but i didnt realise that until he told me to call him.
i did...and he pretty much jerked off while i was on the phone with him.
but it was awful

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"iikura desu ka?" HE ASKED HOW MUCH I WAS.

yesterday was a rather eventful day.
like mentioned earlier, the foreign festival at school was, to say the least, overwhelming.

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fucking sexual tension

god.
ok so i was volunteering at a school foreign festival, and so theres this girl.(i believe ive mentioned her before) and her names emma. see, i thought she was a freshman, but turns out to be a junior.
and holy smokes. is she attractive.

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fuck. i think im falling for him.

school is a bitch.
the end.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
on the other hand.....
i think im falling for someone.
maybe.
possibly.

im really suprised with myself.
this person....is a boy.
no, not an ultra sexy girl, or a super hot boy, either.

just a really, really sweet boy, thats really cute, purely innocent, smart, and fun to be around.

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