Rigid and black
hot and burning
my dark heart
my heart burns
where is my fucking candy?
i ask myself
alone on this dark and rainy street
whimpering in a pool of my own vomit
crying and whimpering
in my vomit
i scratch myself
blood as red as the setting indian sun
and tears as black as my heart
and i choke on my own vomit.
I wouldn't consider myself all the way "out" yet, but I'm exactly where I want to be, in terms of all my best friends know and that's the greatest feeling because they are all supportive. Even the one who I told I was in love with. He's the best because he was just like I'm sorry but the best I can be is your friend. I love him more than anything but I'll just have to settle... I guess what I like most about being comfortable enought to be honest with my friends is that I can talk with the girls about cute guys, and that's something I missed out on in middle school, and its just amazing.
How am i supposed to tell if the guy im in love with is feeling the same way about me. We hang out alot and have been, like, inseparable, and we're getting really close, but I'm confused because said he said he liked this girl (and is always talking about girls) but he also asked me if I liked anyone and if I had ever had a girlfriend and he was pretty interested. I know that we are really good friends and I don't want to risk freaking him out by saying anything but I want to and tomorrow is Coming Out Day.
So... this site is pretty cool. I read about it in Time but didn't really like the article much... Um... I think this site makes me really happy. Its really distracting though. hmmmm