wow, i haven't been on here forever, but i need somewhere to write where people aren't going to see it, but i sort of want her to see it, even though i don't want her to know i'm being all emo-y. whatever.
ok, so this is totally random, but when i logged in, the little google adsense thing said "queers in history" and i totally thought of the whole muppets thing that used to be on tv, that'd be like "pigs in space" and was just imagining a parody with queers instead. granted, the pigs in space things was a parody too. and now that i'm remembering most of you are like what, 13? 16?
things that make me happy:
-talking to crushes-
-hanging out with gay people-
-listening to music-
-girls in ties-
-girls in guys' jeans-
-star gazing (bit cold for that now though...)-
-the funny things kids say-
-girls in bikinis-
I haven't actually written anything in a while, but several things have kind of been bugging me, so i figured i'd start up again.
there's a cute girl in my lecture, and she's gay too.
i kind of like her, and i'm really happy she's in my class
she made a funny joke, and i laughed, and she smiled at me
i hope she likes me too-- whoo, whoo, whoo.
(me singing and dancing around my room after today's lecture. thank god my roommate was out...)
my crush is in my bio lecture, and she actually came over to say hi to me, and we walked around together afterwards and i managed to not sound like a complete moron (just a little bit of a moron, but not a complete one). and i made her laugh once. go me... :D
so i just spent my entire final exam completely distracted. i ran into the girl i like just before it started, and the whole time during the test i had mental images of her with chris pureka songs running through my head. really, when i fall, i fall so hard it's not even funny. it was all i could do to just finish the damn thing. i was reading questions 4 and 5 times over.
Just wrote this, comments much appreciated.
It's no secret--growing up I was never the apple of any guy's eye;
Too tall and awkward and not enough make-up.
Strangely enough I found your lack of interest reassuring.
And now we're both older, and I'm still tall and still don't wear make-up
But the awkwardness has subsided, and boy, I can turn your world upside down
Because you and her go out dancing, and I'm hanging at the bar.
ah! i don't understand why my roommate listens to the radio station each morning. they're talking about how the article they read on american idol was really interesting. and the music is just terrible, it's hard to tell which is worse, the hosts' stupidity or the overplayed songs. not the first thing i want to hear when i wake up in the morning. i have work to finish, things to do, guh. just had to vent.
i am officially total chicken shit. i can't talk to the girl that i like, at all. and she's gay too, it's not like i'm having the classic straight girl problem. we see each other fairly often, have friends in common, and are on a semi-friend basis ourselves. and yet i can't talk to her. i see her, and my hands start to shake, and i feel like i'm going to pass out. i suck. i'm abandoning attempts at flirting and significant other seeking, in the slight hope that everyone that says "once you stop looking, she'll come" is right.
this is what i think about in classes...
--while the cute TA offered to help me light my bunsen burner in chem lab:
"come on baby, light my fire"
--while studying the EKG in biology: "you make my heart go wild"
--geography: "i'll bela your rus"
haha. just thought i'd share.
so, i've decided, we should all pool our money and take over an island. we'll make it queer island, we can have our own monetary system, our own educational system, people can board at schools where they don't have to worry about straight roommates, everything can be gender neutral (and to all the cynics out there, shut up, this is dream world, i'm taking a break from the reality where this would be sooo problematic on so many levels).
so i think the republicans are thinking...
"crap, we suck, we've accomplished nothing, the nation is in crazy-ass debt, we're total fuck-ups, we're stuck in iraq, we still have nothing really to show for as far as responses to 9/11 goes, n. korea is testing nukes, health care in this country sucks, we definately dropped the ball on the foley thing, and how many people were indicted from our party? there's the katrina thing, the gaza strip, literally the world hates us...
wow, so i was reading the forum topics about books... and found something i had posted, and realized that it was about a year ago. i'd totally forgotten i'd posted that, but it's strange thinking about it. when i first joined oasis i was barely out to myself. the idea of straight was still something that i wanted. a year. it's a strange thought. i'm comparing where i am now to where i was then.