i want to kill myself
don't tell me what to do
just leave me alone
don't patronise me and
i'll be ok
I want a $5000000000 haircut
I might get a bartending job soon. I bumped into Harriet on the weekend. Harriet bartends at a club and I met her last year while she was working and she said they're hiring again soon. I couldn't apply last year because I was going away for six weeks. But she's now the manager and she's happy to be my referee so I'm pretty sure I'd get it. I'm excited! They'll also be training me for free! My 'dream' bartending job is probably working at my fave gay bar eventually...
If you looked at yourself as someone else would you approve? What would you think?
I don't like being a perfectionist. It's gotten a lot better over the years. It's no longer that I have to be perfect at everything, but more a desire to be as rounded as possible - to do as much as possible.
I feel really stupid. I want to be the very best. At everything.
Too much to do
Lost my bank card. Scholarship payments not coming through. Where the fuck is my passport. I can't do my driving lesson tomorrow. Fuck stress fuck shit cunt.
FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT
do you know every time you insult a fat person they lose an average of 0.004kg
Cutest boy ever says "if i was single I would fully be into you x - Tristan"
Man I love him. If only he was single, we were dancing together for so long. I talked to him at the bar and being the dorky me I spilt my drink while moving to him. He just smiled. He's blonde with brown eyes. We had a good chat. I don't know what he sees in me, but it doesn't matter because he's taken anyway.
he loves me
i feel bad
i don't want to love him too
i like the attention
but i get annoyed when they always want to hang out
why can't they just hang when I want to hang
i felt bad cause we were supposed to meet up
he was going to come back to mine
but I said nah
he was upset
why am I upset too?
We won today and qualified for the semifinals! Whee. I applied for development squad too. Hopefully I'll get in. Our case today we had to consult for some ice cream company. Better than last time when we had to read about wheelchairs for three hours...
Just got my philosophy assignment back, I got A+ !
It was scaled and ranked according to everyone's marks, so anything above 85/100 for this paper is an A+ (which means it's pretty hard). I GOT 91/100. Class average is 70. I PILLAGED.
Jonathon organised a nice dinner outing for me last night (it's 5am, just got home). I always go straight clubbing with him, so he decided to book and go to a classy gay-friendly restuarant with me. All the waiters were gay. Apparently we looked like a couple.
It was funny cause he seemed like the gay one. He's very health conscious and had a long discussion about the menu with the hilariously-over-the-top-gay waiter. I ordered beer.
Why do I have compulsive urges to go out everytime I'm invited? And if I don't I feel annoyed? It's like I can't say no. I'm sick, I'm tired, I need a rest from last night, spent the day training for a consulting competition (2pm - 7pm)... and friend just texted me at 10pm asking me to go into town - and I know I shouldn't - yet I feel this uncontrollable urge to. It's like if I know something is going on I have to be there. No. I can't go. I spent too much money last night already. I was up the whole night last night...
Just got back from a foam party. Crazy shit man. I've never had so many weird things happen in one night.
First thing. So my ex was there. He wants to make me jealous because I dumped him after I knew he cheated. I know this because for a whole year he kept 'trying' to crash the parties I'm at just to do that. I know, how petty.
I went on a 'date' with Dan, the guy from my english class. I also went on a date with Tony the day after. But I never really wanted anything serious. I just wanted to have fun.
It's the holidays, and I haven't been able to for a while. I go through such extremes in my life. Before the break I was studying my ass off. I didn't party. I didn't drink. I didn't want attachment, relationship, boys, whatever.