I have to say I was very encouraged by the comments I received in my last entry... I was starting to think I'm a little too grown-up for this site. That at eighteen, I'm no longer like the slightly younger crowd such as swimmerguy and ferrets, and neither part of the older mentoring bunch that belongs to jeff, pat and ox. For a while, I did feel a little displaced. Yet the irony is, I have been here since I was thirteen or fourteen, and I could identify with the issues faced by the younger crowd; and starting to gain the insight of the latter. But somehow I felt stuck in the middle.
Have you ever
- Felt like you gave a bit too much
- When you just wished someone could come and fix you
- But you didn't really want to be fixed anyway
- At least not by anyone
- It had to be someone, someone special
- And meantime you'll eat lots of chocolate, maybe even too much chocolate.
- Listen to leona lewis
- Order a second cup of coffee
- Wear a bit too much makeup
- Spend a bit too much money
- Fantasise about a warm embrace
- Get angry at yourself for picturing your ex
- Get frustrated at all the people who like you, who you don't like
Hey everybody! I'm in Taiwan now, sitting at a restaurant with internet... I don't have it at my house. I'm drinking this lemon honey drink and eating deep fried mushrooms. They're not as nice as it looks on the menu.
Saying goodbye is so hard.
I'm packing for my flight to Taiwan tomorrow. I'll be away from New Zealand for over a month. By then a lot of friends will be off to other places in New Zealand like Christchurch or Wellington, or places as far as Australia, France or Israel. So I've been pretty busy (and early) with saying my goodbyes.
2010, what an ugly number. Is it twenty-ten? Or two-thousand and ten? Or simply o-ten? But o-ten that would make the year 2007, double-o-seven. I think it's twenty-ten.
Boucing to Adam Lambert on my headphones. Fringe too long. My new year resolution? Screw that. Only last year my resolution was so different. I remember "wishing" for an amazing boy to come into my life. Yes, my resolutions were more empty wishes than commitments. Well, looking at that now it's such a silly thing to want. I've certainly changed a lot - at least in terms of how I look at my relationships.
He has a tragically beautiful smile on his face. He's perfect. We were born to be together; complements like shadows attached to your body and appendages. The pairing untainted like the image of an old woman eating alone in a cafetaria, or a sunburnt child oblivious to the tragedy she has been afflicted with. The two are inseparable without losing its meaning. I cannot walk into the the darkness without starting to lose sight of myself as well. In a twisted way, we deserve each other. Sometimes I don't notice him – but he always lingers around, surprising me at the bends and corners.
Got a shirt that says "Gone to my happy place... back in ten minutes".
So it's a few hours past midnight. I thought I'd go for a run, I almost did but then I refrained myself. I wanted to feel the breeze brushing against my face, traversing down the gentle slope of my street, and listening to the stillness of the night. But it's late. It's dark. And it's not safe. I know of people who have been jumped in the park near my house. But somehow the risk of it all excited me. It made me want to do it even more.
Just because my timezone is like 12 hours ahead of everybody's...
Have a good one! I should go to bed now otherwise Santa won't come
I think I might like him.
He's so nice.
I can't sleep.
Just went on date with a thirty-two year old. He's well built, but I have to admit hs face looked far better under dim light when I met him at the bar. Maybe that's why people always look a lot more attractive in town. He's a lawyer AND a doctor. We watched Avatar in 3D. He kept playing with my hand and arm... I didn't reciprocate much. I wasn't very interested to be honest. He's lame. The best thing today was probably the movie. He tried to take me back to his house but I made up some stupid excuse... I hope he sees I'm not too interested.
Life is bland.
I want something epic to happen.
I'm being so very selfish. I have so much in my life.
- I'm very social
- I party too much
- I'm very articulate
- "Everyone loves you Max" - quote Everybody
- I'm respected by people at school
- I was a prefect at a top NZ school (good on CV for the future)
- Little kids run after me at school
- I have way too many groups of friends
- They can be anyone. Jocks, emo, popular, preppy, punk, asian, posh, sweet, shy, nerds, stoners whatever you name it. Sorry for stereotyping. But you know what I mean. I don't even know how I do it
um im so indecisive
UM HOLY SHIT?!
friend wanted more people to go to her party
so i sent out invites last minute yesterday on facebook to half my fb friends, hoping people don't check it that late and only like less than a quarter wil turn up
but quite a few rsvped and the word's spreading and they all think it's my party lol... (friend won't mind we'll laugh it off... she's real close anyway) and from reading the comments on fb it sounds like there'll be HEAPS of people lol. like people are runnin numbers and getin their mates to come as wel
ummm she did say she wants lots of people