So, Saturday night, and I'm doing nothing. Except listening to Leona Lewis and feeling annoyed.
I'm supposed to be at this party tonight. But because I was out having dinner so my friend couldn't pick me up. The dinner tasted like shit. But only because my mind was somewhere else. It was too spicy anyway. It was a fucking buffet. It costed bloody twenty dollars. A stupid moth flew into the soup too. Fucking dinner.
And fucking J. He can never answer a question properly. I hate his passive aggression. It was the reason tonight was all messed up.
So, after the first official day at university I've come to the conclusion university guys are not very good looking. There are some really gorgeous ones, but a lot don't even seem to take pride in their appearance. I guess I'm being too harsh... I am a guy at the university too. It just disappointed me a little. I didn't sign up for the gay club today because the guy sitting there was... urgh.
So tomorrow is when university officially begins. I'm going to Auckland Univeristy. I didn't end up applying for American universities, my parents just doesn't have that kind of money and there was no guarantee I'd get in anyway. I still think about it a little bit though.
I'm doing a conjoint degree. My first degree is a law degree, and my second one is an arts degree. I'm majoring in politcs and ethics for my arts degree, but that might change. My first lecture tomorow is law and society, then I have introduction to ethics. All these courses make me sound too old before I am wise.
Degree: Law and arts.
Bye-bye maths and science.
I feel very sad right now. It's like saying goodbye to a big part of me. I hope this is the right choice. I don't think anyone understands though.
Again I'm on my itouch again... I find this is probably a good way for me to keep my journal entries short. Orientation was good. I loved seeing everyone again it was awesome it felt like all the high schools combined into a mega high school. I went to the orientation for law students... And there were already two people I knew in my eight person group... It was pretty cool. I'm not too sure who I'd be the closest to in university though. Right now I'm just enjoying the new change. The law people seem a little arrogant though.
So I'm typing this entry with my itouch right now it's a little slow but I'm just lying in bed haven't been able to sleep for the past few hours... And it's really annoying.
Having a few issues and just can't get them out of my head. So frustrated... And this keyboard's so small...
I really need to sleep. I've seriously been neglecting my health lately. I need to stop drinking... And orientation for university is tomorrow morning, and I'm stil up feeling all weird. I'm a bit of a mess
I'm in love. I'm not.
On Wednesday, the day I arrived back in New Zealand, I went out like I said I would. I was tired. I hadn't slept on the plane. But I didn't want to stay in my room, I wanted to be free, to be with my friends and forgetting things.
There was this new guy in our group. Let's call him M. My mates met him during the holiday. It was his party that Wednesday. When I met him, he said J told him a lot about me, nice things. I said same here. He reminds me of B, someone I had a crush on - but so much more chilled.
Remember the three-hour long national exams and the five extra scholarship exams I was complaining about in December?
I got all five of them. That's $6000.
Statistics and Modelling.
Except... I still could've done better.
Hey everyone, I'm back for a bit. I just returned to New Zealand after being with my parents in Taiwan. I apologise for not being very active these few weeks. Things have been a bit hectic and demanding over there... a lot has happened - some of them ongoing, some of them new or have taken new forms in my life... Either way I'm glad to see a lot of old and new faces on here. I want to welcome the new members... I hope you all enjoy your stay.
I have to say I was very encouraged by the comments I received in my last entry... I was starting to think I'm a little too grown-up for this site. That at eighteen, I'm no longer like the slightly younger crowd such as swimmerguy and ferrets, and neither part of the older mentoring bunch that belongs to jeff, pat and ox. For a while, I did feel a little displaced. Yet the irony is, I have been here since I was thirteen or fourteen, and I could identify with the issues faced by the younger crowd; and starting to gain the insight of the latter. But somehow I felt stuck in the middle.
Have you ever
- Felt like you gave a bit too much
- When you just wished someone could come and fix you
- But you didn't really want to be fixed anyway
- At least not by anyone
- It had to be someone, someone special
- And meantime you'll eat lots of chocolate, maybe even too much chocolate.
- Listen to leona lewis
- Order a second cup of coffee
- Wear a bit too much makeup
- Spend a bit too much money
- Fantasise about a warm embrace
- Get angry at yourself for picturing your ex
- Get frustrated at all the people who like you, who you don't like
Hey everybody! I'm in Taiwan now, sitting at a restaurant with internet... I don't have it at my house. I'm drinking this lemon honey drink and eating deep fried mushrooms. They're not as nice as it looks on the menu.
Saying goodbye is so hard.
I'm packing for my flight to Taiwan tomorrow. I'll be away from New Zealand for over a month. By then a lot of friends will be off to other places in New Zealand like Christchurch or Wellington, or places as far as Australia, France or Israel. So I've been pretty busy (and early) with saying my goodbyes.
2010, what an ugly number. Is it twenty-ten? Or two-thousand and ten? Or simply o-ten? But o-ten that would make the year 2007, double-o-seven. I think it's twenty-ten.
Boucing to Adam Lambert on my headphones. Fringe too long. My new year resolution? Screw that. Only last year my resolution was so different. I remember "wishing" for an amazing boy to come into my life. Yes, my resolutions were more empty wishes than commitments. Well, looking at that now it's such a silly thing to want. I've certainly changed a lot - at least in terms of how I look at my relationships.
He has a tragically beautiful smile on his face. He's perfect. We were born to be together; complements like shadows attached to your body and appendages. The pairing untainted like the image of an old woman eating alone in a cafetaria, or a sunburnt child oblivious to the tragedy she has been afflicted with. The two are inseparable without losing its meaning. I cannot walk into the the darkness without starting to lose sight of myself as well. In a twisted way, we deserve each other. Sometimes I don't notice him – but he always lingers around, surprising me at the bends and corners.