Seven days left! My goodness!
I love wearing a suit. Wore one to this film presentation tonight. I felt important. I walked around with purpose. Look at me.
So, officially 3 years 52 weeks which is fours years on oasis. lol. that's a long time. Joined as the uncertain confused lovestoned hopeless romantic naive idealistic lost child that just turned 14, to now... 18. Flipped through a few old entries - there has been personal growth, rants, good times - so much progress made... and now I know a lot more, but again knowing there's more out there I don't know. Shit, it's been a long journey.
I gotta feeling...
Tonight's gonna be a good night...
Tonight's gonna be a good night...
Tonight's gonna be a good good night
I love you B. How could I tell you?
I know I'm just smitten, but in my mind you're so perfect right now. I don't want to lose that feeling. I haven't had it in way too long. Even though I know I can't have you, it's worth it. I can feel it again.
Let's do it.. let's do it... let's do it ... let's do it...
Friends pitched in money and bought me a new phone. That was really nice of them. My old one was ancient, scratched and falling apart. And my charger broke, so I really needed it. It wasn't an amazing phone they bought, but I'm going to treasure it nonetheless. It's really the thought (and its simplicity) that counts.
The cards are going on my wall. Also got a big bag of lollies, a book on philosophy, facial masks, energy drinks (including this one called "Big Cock" lol), and chocolate. I'm pretty happy.
When I went to Wellington in July with my friend for a week he was pretty sick. We all lived in the same hotel, and he just got his blood test back this week... and it was glandular fever. Apparently it stays dormant for a while...
No wonder I was so tired.
Being gruelled by biology study right now. Probably won't end up sleeping much tonight.
Of course I'm excited.
I'm gona be 18 soon.
Happy Birthday to me. In three hours.
Three measly hours. Three hours in a day in a year and eighteen of those. Every minute filled with something amazing or something completely meaningless.
Eighteen soon. Happy Birthday lost childhood.
I don't feel like I'm about to turn eighteen. I know, but I don't feel. And there's always that feeling of being underappreciated the next day. That's also the day my exams start. Great, I'm going to study now.
I'm gona be eighteen. And I'm gona be eighteen... eighteen... eighteen. Right.
Here's a professional ball photo of me and my friends from a few months ago. My friend finally scanned and uploaded it... and I had a sudden urge to share it. Hope you guys like it.
Sat SATs today.
Blitzed the maths, I'm expecting a perfect score for that. Essay, confident it's at least a four... hoping for a six. Writing was alright, critical reading as also alright... would've done better if I managed my time better.
And, I only started studying for it yesterday lol. I had no idea about the format of a SAT test until I went and stayed at my friend's place last night and she exposed me to practice papers for the first time.
I think instead of trolling facebook as a form of effective procrastination, it's probably a bit more meaningful to write a journal entry.
Heart beating fast, and not liking it.
That's right, the world.
Yeah. I can't handle attachment.
Just wana say, a few days ago, out of light-heartedness and distraction for myself... my friend went clubbing. He binge ate Mc Donald's afterwards. Obviously no one told him it was a very potent mix with those overpriced smirnoff shots. We decided to be classy and sophisticated so we visited the rose gardens near his place at 3am for some fresh air. He felt a little heavy headed... and power chucked into them. Nom nom nom, there goes some fine-grown, beautiful, pristeen roses.
How could I do what I do. Fuck, I hate myself.
He's so beautiful.
I like the way his hair smells. How he leans his head on a shoulder, or curls his body next to mine. How he stares into my eyes. Or smiles way too much. Or just says the cutest and most silliest of things.
Except he probably doesn't know all of that. Even I don't really want to admit it. Because he likes me more than I like him. I'm sure. Sure.