Heyloz everybody! Felt like updating my journal a lil bit, not that anyone really cares... but here i go. I'll try and keep things short... it's already past my bedtime >_<
Well, there's this guy called Daniel. Some of you might remember him in my journal entry from months ago (although I doubt it). He can be really nice, yet he can be a dick at times. We used to be quite close... last year we hung out together most lunch times. Then off course I had a crush on him. I came out to him, then he freaked out... said it was disgusting and we kind of drifted apart.
Clueless, frustration... I guess this is just one of those moments when things are beyond my control and I feel so depressed. Yes, I'm such a perfectionist and control freak... I want everything to be under control because that's how I can deal with my life. Grr. Just all this homework stress again... and FUCKING HELL why does everyone ask me for homework help. I can fucking barely finish myself.
Oh joy! Cross country today, having to run 6km... and then having an economics internal assessment... Oh and did I mention our first impromptu debate after school... I got home at past 9pm today. I just had dinner... and about to start my homework.
Okae, seriously my brain can't frickin compute right now. Just so... tiring.
Oh save me from the hoarde of evil sinister homework!
Time to get some tea.
Okae, that was my break.
A Crafted Masterpiece
“Splendid!” cheered Carter in abrupt and excited approval.
That evening for the first time in his life, as he caressed the slender figure of her body, he felt at one with her. Yes, this is the one he is searching for. Time seemed to cease except for the black and white television that played faintly in the background.
Really fucked off at the moment. Got into a fight with someone today. Now things getting really messy. People taking sides. A lot of backstabbing and 'blackmailing' going on. It's really fucked up. So yeah.
Bout it. Shit happens.
Well, apparently I found out today another girl likes me. Well, this happened way over once... everytime I find it very flattering... but I'm just so tired of not having any guys like me (well there has been a few but they're past now). *sigh* When will I find someone?~
Sweet Little Lamb
The shock was still ricocheting inside my head when I opened my eyes. Where am I? A beeping sound echoed steadily within the white interiors of the room.
Oh pure hypocrisy!
Friends complaining about things, depressed, asking for advice, needing attention and sympathy... how I always try to be there for them. When their friends ask them for help, I tell them they have to look after themselves first before looking after someone else.
Jeez. Okay I hope this doesn't sound like I'm really up myself or anything... but ok recently there was that girl which I posted about who I think liked me. Well now there's this other girl. Oh jeez. Okay so apparently we talk sarcastically to each other all the time. And I have a feeling she likes me but I cannot tell if she's just being sarcastic or if she's actually serious.
Hmm okay. Well this is a slight review of some things on my mind about my family.
So, I'm going back to Asia to see my parents again. I dread seeing them, but yet I don't know if I'm completely disappointed or not. I suppose it's more like indifference with a passion to do something else more productive.
I want to be a fucking selfish asshole so I can feel better. Right now I'm on the verge of going crazy. I have two externals this week, with a debate I volunteered for on Tuesday. Yet I'm still volunteering to organise gifts for the brain bee coach, having to spend my whole afternoon in the city looking for a decent gift, having to make the decision when people scream mixed ideas at me.
Happened me more than once, and now I think one of my other friends is doing that. She's been acting all wierd lately... she keeps trying to get my attention and always ask if I'm angry when I'm not talking to her. Then yesterday she was really quiet and I asked what's wrong and that she can tell me and she said it's about me but then she decided not to say it. So um yeah.
Odd. I don't know.
Okay, I just screamed at my friend on the phone because there's just too much stress going on. This is like too much. I didn't intend to, but it was the moment type of thing.