Sweet Little Lamb
The shock was still ricocheting inside my head when I opened my eyes. Where am I? A beeping sound echoed steadily within the white interiors of the room.
Oh pure hypocrisy!
Friends complaining about things, depressed, asking for advice, needing attention and sympathy... how I always try to be there for them. When their friends ask them for help, I tell them they have to look after themselves first before looking after someone else.
Jeez. Okay I hope this doesn't sound like I'm really up myself or anything... but ok recently there was that girl which I posted about who I think liked me. Well now there's this other girl. Oh jeez. Okay so apparently we talk sarcastically to each other all the time. And I have a feeling she likes me but I cannot tell if she's just being sarcastic or if she's actually serious.
Hmm okay. Well this is a slight review of some things on my mind about my family.
So, I'm going back to Asia to see my parents again. I dread seeing them, but yet I don't know if I'm completely disappointed or not. I suppose it's more like indifference with a passion to do something else more productive.
I want to be a fucking selfish asshole so I can feel better. Right now I'm on the verge of going crazy. I have two externals this week, with a debate I volunteered for on Tuesday. Yet I'm still volunteering to organise gifts for the brain bee coach, having to spend my whole afternoon in the city looking for a decent gift, having to make the decision when people scream mixed ideas at me.
Happened me more than once, and now I think one of my other friends is doing that. She's been acting all wierd lately... she keeps trying to get my attention and always ask if I'm angry when I'm not talking to her. Then yesterday she was really quiet and I asked what's wrong and that she can tell me and she said it's about me but then she decided not to say it. So um yeah.
Odd. I don't know.
Okay, I just screamed at my friend on the phone because there's just too much stress going on. This is like too much. I didn't intend to, but it was the moment type of thing.
My long awaited weekend hath come! Freedom at last!
Besides all this other crap in my mind that (and fuck I don't even know how many fucking things are on my mind right now)... today I've been feeling really fucked up. It never really hit me but today I was on like a fucked up self-esteem mood and I was thinkin how fucking ugly I look.
G'dday people. OmG year 11 is a pain in the arse. We get so much homework I just like can't stand it anymore. They load you with shit everyday and you never have enough free time. Maybe I need to develop a new study method or review my time management. I officially give up on writing my GLM story... no inspiration, and I just don't have the time. It's past deadline so no point anyway.
Hm. It angers me.
Hmm went out for the whole day from like 9am today and came home at like 11pm... so frickin tired but had so much fun! (In general)
Hmm ok need to catch up on a lot of work 2moro T_T *sob sob*
Question on mind: Do you guys think all gay guys are more sensitive, and usually nicer and better looking?
Short entry, just saying things slowly coming to order again... friends going alright.. school work slowly easing off and commitments aren't as much as before. Besides the occasional things on my mind and some stuff I have to do, things are great. I just need to improve my school results and try a little harder... I'm not doing as well as last year and I know I can do better. Hmm.
I just wrote a massive journal and the page suddenly jumped to a random page when I'm adding tags. I'm pissed. K that's enough said.
K, I had fun this weekend at my friend's birthday... I didn't to to karaoke in the end since I really have to come home and get some shit done. Sleeping over was enough.