I hate my room
I hate mrs lohrentz
I hate taking buses
I hate chocolate melting in my pocket
I hate feeling random
I hate feeling frustrated
I hate having so much work
I hate being clueless
I hate kevin
I hate slow internet
I hate my crushes
I hate being alone with no one who understands me
I hate being like the only gay guy at school
I hate myself
I hate missing the ball in socer
I hate exams
Omg, my fone just had to die on me oMGMGMGMmGGMGMG when I was having a conversation with an old friend of mine called Tyler. He can't really remember me (and I can't reali remember him that well anyways) but we're getting to know each other better and I was kinda flirting and the fricking battery just had to DIE. Poo poo poo. I hate this... although I can't really blame anyone but myself since I was on the fone ages with Ellen before that... Argh, just pissed.
For some reason I've been really frustrated and sad about nothing today... Omg... (or maybe something, but it's just all wierd and messed up and just I dno... this is a rant anyways)
Oh, and why is it when I'm PHYSICALLY attracted to guys... a lot of the times I find that most of the guys around me are real dickheads? (no pun intended)
Yet again, I find I can connect emotionally and mentally better with a lot of girls compared to guys... when crushes aren't COMPLETELY dependant on physical appearances (because it realli isn't...), might I develop a crush a girl even when I'm not exactly physically attracted to her?
Hello everybody! Thought I might make a short update...
Well, I've got a busy week ahead today... I have two NCEA assessments and two debates this week and I've been a little stressed about it because (I'll admit) I haven't managed my time properly. On top of that is the usual stuff which makes me a lil buzi.
Besides that, there were some happy stuff happening in the weekends. I went karaoke with some friends at downtown... at first I was invited by Julie who said I wouldn't know anyone else there, but I ended up knowing EVERYONE who turned up which was wierd o_o. There was also this girl there called Ellen, who was my friend from about 7 years ago. She went back to Taiwan 6 years ago... and suddenly she reappeared in NZ. I've been re-seeing a lot of my old friends recently... which is great. =]
My friend just went all depressed on me and I had no idea what to say to him. I try to do the most listening, but I don't know what to say when I feel like I have to something. I gave some shit advice, I was a hypocrite and now I'm in a really down mood as well.
My other friend also picked up that I have a crush on this one guy (I have like 3 major crushes)... this friend can be a really arrogant bastard sometimes and now he's annoying the crap out of me because that.
I can't find a good reason to wait for something I don't know
But you're so deeply rooted into my mind
The winds bring the sound of you to my ear
And the scent of your body to my senses
I think I might start missing you,
But I just came across you in my life.
Still when I look in the water I see your face
A face so clear, but so far below the surface I can't reach
This feeling lives by me everday,
Okay, about two entries ago I was talking about this bisexual guy that has a crush on me (I inferred from his actions and speeches which was rather obvious that he did) but I don't like him the same way. I was planning on telling me last Friday at youthgroup but I went to see a drama production instead. I was planning to tell him on the phone some time when nobody was home but everyone was home for the whole week. I was planning to tell him maybe this Friday at youthgroup but Nick invited me to go bowling. Blah, so heck... today when he was on MSN saying all this stuff to me agen I felt really uncomfortable and I decided I can't wait anymore. I made sure he was there, and then confirmed whether he liked me more than a friend. Then I made it clear to him that I only like him as a friend. He was silent for a long while and then said he understood (in a rather depressing way). I'm glad I made my point across.
Woah, during English class today which we sat in our groups and wrote our debating speeches... I was sitting beside one of my crushes. When I was explaining something to him he suddenly started stroking my hair lol. He stopped and did that again but I got a bit defensive (which I shouldn't have done) because there were people around me. Omgosh, I was like blushing lol. I asked him why he did that and he said something about "hair fetish".
Okay umm, how do I say this. Well.. recently my sister has been really upset with our caregivers (note I don't live with my parents, I live in a homestay family with my sister. My parents work on the other side of the world).
She thinks they haven't lived up to their responsibilites and hates the way they do things which I agree to an extent. However, now she's all like ignoring them and locking herself in her room and isn't even going upstairs for lunch and dinner. It's been going on for three days... she goes out everyday, refuses to talk to our caregiver or go upstairs and she's always on the fone with dad and mom or someone and in an extremely grumpy mood.
Okay, there's this guy at this Christian youthgroup. He's 15 and bisexual and generally a nice guy. However, he started an obsession over me... kind of wanting me to talk to him all the time on msn. He's been calling me on the phone for three days (twice I said I was busy because I was). He says he loves me, and hearts me more than anything... and he puts my photos as his display pictures and texts me during school (he goes to another school) saying how he can't concentrate because he's thinking about me.
Wow, I have such a bad habbit of leaving stuff around. Despite my untidy room it's not just any stuff...
Remember last stuff I let my sister borrow my computer? Well, I didn't realise I had pictures of guys making out on... so she accidentally saw it and minimized it and pretended nothing happened.
This time its something like that, she came into my room... got a bit retarded and pointed my shaver at me.
Hmm, yeah well I met this guy on mogenic that's around my place. He invited me to go to this youthgroup today, it was fun and he's a really really nice guy. I also met a lot of my old friends at the youthgroup which was another awesome thing about today. Well, when we both got home we talked on msn from 11 pm to 2:30 am. Now I'm so tired I have to get to sleep. Cyah guys!
I did something really really stupid today (or technically, it's yesterday since its already 1am bcoz I was so tired and I fell asleep after dinner until now).
I feel terrible for doing it.
Edit: Shit, I realised how philosophical and waffling this entry ended up being...//
Here's a little update on what I've been up to in my holiday "trip" over the past 1-2 weeks.
Well, the first day (two weeks ago) I was at home having a rest, the second day my dad took us back to see our grandparents. Everything seemed fine.
The third day my dad went to work but at noon my dad called saying Grandma had passed away.
Since fall break started I have had little to do... my flight is 2moro and I really should start packing. It shouldn't take too long tho. =]
Well on Wednesday I was supposed to see V for Vendetta at the New Market cinema with Min, Jane and Betty. I got to the bus stop, texted Min saying I was waiting for my bus. She texted back. Then I was half way thru texting Betty when suddenly she called and was all like "I couldn't go cause mum can't take me (now)". We thought about going to see the one after that but that was at 9:30pm so we decided not to. While I was deciding whether I should still go and still on the phone with her, the bus went past without stopping... so urgh yes... I decided not to go. I texted Min saying Betty and I won't be going but she didn't reply. Only when I walked back into my house she called me and was like "Argh Max come! You guy are all ditching me." It really stinks for her coz she didn't check her phone until she got to the cinema lol. She told me Jane cancelled out too coz she preferred to go to her tutoring. So urgh yes, Min is going to have a great time at the cinema by herself.