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I don't have that kind of talent
Forgiving you and accepting him
Having the truth in dim

Clouds mask a darkness in our hearts
The brighter our radiance and outside is emitted
The deeper our intertwined lies is knitted

I forecast that tomorrow skies will clear
Though our forecasts often flip
And in the ground remains a scar that rips

Water flows over its pathways brushing our memories

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Wierd School Day

Well, at school today I almost came out to everyone.

It all started when Ting and I were having a conversation, and Daniel joined in and started saying "I agree" to everything. Then I was like "Daniel's gay". Then he went "I agree" as well lol. Then not even that, he added "I like boys" after that. Then I thought this was a time to kind of drop a hint on my homosexuality and I said "Yeah I like boys too".

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I told myself that I'd never touch
but admiration
is too much

I told myself that I can live without
the pleasure
but my heart starts to pound unrhythmically like a flapping trout

I told myself a little bit of you wouldn't hurt
I'd just come and leave without reason like the wind
But something draws me back to flirt

I told myself I can get over you
I thought I could
but not withdrawing a part of me is true

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Mum and Dad

I was just on the phone with my mum who is overseas in Taiwan. Man we haven't talked for like a week. I

Well, what happened was on Wednesday, my dad needs to go to China for a training course so he asked my mum to go live at his place for 4 days to look after my brother (My parents are divorced FYI). As you might've read a while back, my dad's house is the messiest place ever lol. There are basically rubbish bags full of rubbish everywhere (still have like rubbish back from two years ago. I still remember seven-year-old dumplings in our old fridge! Hah, it could almost be antique). The stack of clothes are like huge mountains. The toilets literally have snails crawling on the walls.

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School Debate.

Well, today we had our debate against Kristine College (note: College is Highschool here). Well, we lost. They were a lot more experienced than us, so our manager was very proud of us at the very least.

I screwed up my rebuttal section and I felt really bad for that. I thought I had let my whole team down. This is screwing up in front of all these people I know, including Dennis. Gawd I feel so bad. But I've got a very optimistic, caring and understanding team. I just think I take things a little bit too serious for myself sometimes and I get very emotional about it. (I even asked my team if they'll hate me if I screwed up before the debate started) I don't think I can help it though, it's just rooted in me that if I sucked then that's okay, but if I bring others down then I'm being selfish and irresponsible. It's just my nature. However, isn't debating supposed to be fun? Argh, I should try and enjoy it.

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Yeah, I finally finished my english assignment. I did kind of rush it and it lacked certain touchups in some bits but I could care less. I can finally move on to my other work now. (i.e. Debate preparation, maths tutoring and science exam revision {apparently they're all happening or due on Thursday} and some minor homework) This week is going to be hella busy.

Oh, I caught a cold or something. I'm starting to have a blocked nose and it's really annoying since I can't talk for long or I'd run out of breath cause I have to breath with my mouth. When I speak, my voice also goes a bit wierd. Urgh, this isn't good for our debate against another school on Thursday.

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Hmm nothing much

Well, today was very busy for me. It's almost 2am now. However, I got most of English assignment done. I felt I've been very productive so today hasn't gone to waste. =]

Oh yay! Debating meeting tomorrow. More time with Dennis :)

Hmm, today we had a reliever for PE. He didn't care what we did really. We were supposed to play a modified version of dodgeball but it ended up into a crazy thing which we just chuck balls at anyone. It was an insanely fun period lol. Hm, I realised Dennis is pretty gud at soccer (I'm guessing). He can like keep the ball off the ground without the use of his arms/hands for so long. Hmm, I always fall for athletic and smart guys with a secsi voice. xD

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A Moving Flash Video (It's in Chinese)

Flash Movie Link: http://ylon.myweb.hinet.net/walktour.swf

Apparently, I dunno if I should've posted it. It's in chinese so most people probably won't understand it. However, to me the message it conveys is quite moving. It's saying that everyone is on a journey in life, walking into the future. You walk with your friends, family and people you love. You go through ups and downs like a roller coaster.

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I'm Screwed (no pun intended)

Gawd. My laptop died yesterday and if I wasn't pissed enough to have to redo all my work, I sure am hella pissed today.

I almost got a detention at skool because I couldn't hand in my work. I just got told off and warned. Gosh.

And now I've taken my laptop to get fixed. They replaced the harddrive which charged money from our school account. Dad will ask how the laptop broke, and if the reason is shit he'd use my bank saving probably from Chinese New Year to pay for it.

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Yay, I'm pissed.

Yay, I have my laptop on my computer table. I got up reached for the shelf to get a blank CD so I can burn something and guess what. I knocked a torch down and it smashed my keyboard and damaged my motherboard. Now my laptop won't start up! How fun! I'm gona have some enjoyment redoing four weeks of work.

Gawd damn I'm pissed.

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Recent Stuff

Okido. So apart from my retarded KFC poem that I posted a few days ago I haven't really said anything about what's going on recently.

So um, let's see. For english we had to analyse a poem. I chose one of the poems written on this site (but remained the author's name anonymous) and apparently I got one of the highest marks in the class (perhaps the highest one even) :) (Wooot, I got a free chocolate bar :P). I basically said the poem is an extended metaphor of the coexistence of minority and majorities, safety zones, individuality, comformity and adaption. However, in a sense my analysation was another form of another extended metaphor. Minorities are LGBT people like us, majorities are the dangerous and perhaps descirminative society. Safety zones are our "closets", individuality is our pride in a way, and comformity is letting our uniqueness die and not have it bloom, and adaption is that even if we do show our individuality and pride we still have to adapt to survive. It was a great poem.

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KFC + Some extra bits


I like chicken
Oh dear beloved feather poultry
How I’d like to have you when the skies darken
The least to have you fuel me

I have roamed across the land
Purging the shadows, dodging bullets
Seeing all the animals small and grand
But none such amazingly absorbing as thee rooster and the pullets

With such extravagantly dripping body and wings
So sleekly fleshy and delicate it dare not flap to ascend

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Well, a guy I made friends with on the net turned out to be a bit different than I thought he was. Today I realised he was a bit racist... (which a degree I think is rather "acceptable" if derived from personal experience and associations with them for self-defense purposes, physically, mentally/emotionally or spiritually). However, I realised he is racist for the sake of just being racist... and today in a conversation he was an all different from the guy I thought he was.

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My gay and happy day =)

Omg, today was like a highlight I had since boring school started. It was athletics day, and besides all the "eye candy" guys I get to see in shorts and their sweaty PE shirts... my friends (who all at my current school I haven't came out to) said some things I never expected them to say to me lol.

Oh it started off with tutor time in the morning, Blake (he's pretty hawt btw) got out his pe shirt he needs to wear today... and it's all wet cause his drink bottle leaked. He was trying to smack me with it and we went a little crazy running around the room lol. He did get me in the end while I was cornered by him and trying to protect myself with a chair lol xD. Oh, he was also asking if I wanted to swap PE shirts. I was going to say yes, but I know he still wanted to "show off" his wet pe shirt to all his buddies lol.

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Wierd O_o

prenote: I need to shave lol...

Okay so today at school is all fine and cool. Apparently, I went to the tuckshop SIX times today since everyone asked me to go and I just couldn't resist not going (with Daniel twice, with Nixon, Robert and Mike like once and I went there myself once too)... and everytime I just ended up getting something. I spent like 7 bucks today... while lending $3 to Daniel, Robert and Chris. Urgh, I really need to manage my money better.

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